Wobbling....

[tiredmom]

After a week, nearly two, of feeling somewhat balanced, or "normal", or whatever it was, I feel today as if I'm teetering on the edge. I feel somewhat depressed, even after yesterday's encouragement to others. Maybe I was in a mild hypomanic episode, and today is just the "crash"...whatever.

At any rate, I am going to go back in the living room, and lie down, and probably take a nap. I have SO much I need to do, but I'm feeling sad and incapable today. I just want to sleep.

I do have a few external things pressing me down...the biggest being my mother in law and her stupid ideas , her greed, and her being pushy lately (long story-- I love her, really, and she is usually kind and not at all pushy), and my husband, who's picked up her lead, and now putting everything we planned for our own home on hold, including my horses' corral and shelter, which was supposed to have been all built already. Winter's coming on, and they'll have no shelter-- much less the bigger pen the three of them need to have. The pile of lumber has been sitting out there for four months now.

I wish I had the time or the patience to bore you all with the details of what's going on here at my house, but when I think on it too long, it literally makes me feel sick inside-- and sad.

Please, please pray for me today...I will try too, but I don't feel as if I have the strength to do even that. I'm going to go lie back down now and vegetate.

 

[Alive again]

Praying. Paslms 3:5 says "Lay down in peace" Lord, I am praying for Laurie today. You know her needs better than any of us, but Lord, we understand how evrything can suddenly feel overwehlming. Lord, we pray that you will grant laurie true rest and strengthen and encourage her thru your HOly Spirit. Lord, n your word promises us that you are strong in our weakness, we ask this as well for this dear daughter of yours. Let her kno9w that times of rest are important, but protect her form the depths of depression that can set in with this illness, protect her from the overwehlming feelings from this illness. TaKE HER THOUGHTS captive and renew her mind. Remind her of your faithfulness and build her faith and trust in you. Father, give her the strength to speak of her concerns and need as without anger or conflict with her family. Be with her husband as well, give him wisdom and ears to hear, help them as a married couple to find a way to deal with all of the needs surrounding then. Father, most of all just let Laurie feel your arms around her and to understand in a new way today just how precious she is to you!!! Father God, you know how tird we get of trying to sort out what is feeling heqalthy and what is mania, what is normal emotiontion adn what is depression, how quickly that just becomes a morass of fellings and things we can't decipher. Give us peace and wisdom in dealing with this illness, give our loved ones the information and resources they need to be the assistance we need. But most of all Lord, release your HOly Spirit in and on us to make us and our loved ones the men and women of God you created us to be, so that all that we do and say would bring glory to YOU!!!

In Jesus name, Amen

ALive again

 

[rushingwind62]

Tiredmom,
I don't think any bi polar actually gets to a point where they don't have ups and downs. I am bi polar and I have noticed meds do help regulate the extreme highs and lows and ussually after an anxiety episode I fall into a depression for awhile. You must realize meds will not cure you, they are only meant to help you maintain. Even normal healthy people have up and down days. We just have to learn new ways of coping with our ups and downs since they do affect us more than a a person without bi polar disorder. I am praying for you and here if you need to talk. Just PM.....God Bless You...Rob it will be okay

After a week, nearly two, of feeling somewhat balanced, or "normal", or whatever it was, I feel today as if I'm teetering on the edge. I feel somewhat depressed, even after yesterday's encouragement to others. Maybe I was in a mild hypomanic episode, and today is just the "crash"...whatever.

At any rate, I am going to go back in the living room, and lie down, and probably take a nap. I have SO much I need to do, but I'm feeling sad and incapable today. I just want to sleep.

I do have a few external things pressing me down...the biggest being my mother in law and her stupid ideas , her greed, and her being pushy lately (long story-- I love her, really, and she is usually kind and not at all pushy), and my husband, who's picked up her lead, and now putting everything we planned for our own home on hold, including my horses' corral and shelter, which was supposed to have been all built already. Winter's coming on, and they'll have no shelter-- much less the bigger pen the three of them need to have. The pile of lumber has been sitting out there for four months now.

I wish I had the time or the patience to bore you all with the details of what's going on here at my house, but when I think on it too long, it literally makes me feel sick inside-- and sad.

Please, please pray for me today...I will try too, but I don't feel as if I have the strength to do even that. I'm going to go lie back down now and vegetate.

 

[NewCovenant]

Rob is right, and you know this: there is no cure, but BPD can be managed. Your meds may need to be adjusted, too, so you may want to call your Dr. You might need to adjust your meds when going through a difficulty time every now and then, too. I've been doing this so long that I know when I need to go up or down with one of mine. I never make major changes on my own, but I may take an extra 1/4 of my anxiety meds or the night-time antidepressant which helps me sleep if I'm feeling especially edgy or I feel an episode coming on. Luckily, my hypo-manic episodes are few and far between anymore, and I haven't had an all-out manic episode in about 10 years (PTL). But I do sink into some doozy depressions, and I have a lot of anxiety. So I do the adjustments when it's minor and call my docs when it's bad.

When you feel these changes coming on, make sure you take extra care of yourself. This is the most important time to maintain your routine, make sure you get enough rest, eat right, and be good to yourself. Nice warm baths do me a world of good. Drink nice cups of tea. Light candles. Do the girl thing. Spend time with friends, kids, pets, church folk, (anybody that edifies you!) and most important, with God. Pray. Read Scripture. Read Philippians when you are down. It's the best book to read when you're feeling low. Very encouraging. Go online and chat with Christian friends. Don't isolate yourself when you are down!

Keep in mind that although it feels like you are alone, we are all going through this with you. You have friends, sisters and brothers that are feeling exactly the same way you do. We understand you and love you. PM any of us (ME!), and we will comfort you. We are here for you. (This goes for any and ALL of you who are feeling crummy... and I would hope it would go for ME when my time comes!)

 

[rushingwind62]

Be careful when self medicating. NEVER lower your dosages without talking to your Doctor....I tried than once and it sent me into a manic episode. I too however do up my medications when I know I need it. But I also have my Dr's approval to do so. Adjusting your own meds can be a dangerous thing esspecially if the meds you are taking aren't working for you or benefiting you. You need to be fairly stable to do this and aware of where you are at in the disorder and exactly what is going on. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER the meds no matter how much you take WILL NOT cure you. Everyone has good days and bad days....Rob

Rob is right, and you know this: there is no cure, but BPD can be managed. Your meds may need to be adjusted, too, so you may want to call your Dr. You might need to adjust your meds when going through a difficulty time every now and then, too. I've been doing this so long that I know when I need to go up or down with one of mine. I never make major changes on my own, but I may take an extra 1/4 of my anxiety meds or the night-time antidepressant which helps me sleep if I'm feeling especially edgy or I feel an episode coming on. Luckily, my hypo-manic episodes are few and far between anymore, and I haven't had an all-out manic episode in about 10 years (PTL). But I do sink into some doozy depressions, and I have a lot of anxiety. So I do the adjustments when it's minor and call my docs when it's bad.

When you feel these changes coming on, make sure you take extra care of yourself. This is the most important time to maintain your routine, make sure you get enough rest, eat right, and be good to yourself. Nice warm baths do me a world of good. Drink nice cups of tea. Light candles. Do the girl thing. Spend time with friends, kids, pets, church folk, (anybody that edifies you!) and most important, with God. Pray. Read Scripture. Read Philippians when you are down. It's the best book to read when you're feeling low. Very encouraging. Go online and chat with Christian friends. Don't isolate yourself when you are down!

Keep in mind that although it feels like you are alone, we are all going through this with you. You have friends, sisters and brothers that are feeling exactly the same way you do. We understand you and love you. PM any of us (ME!), and we will comfort you. We are here for you. (This goes for any and ALL of you who are feeling crummy... and I would hope it would go for ME when my time comes!)

 

[Zita123]

I'm in the same boat, so I know what your feeling.
I have so very much to get done myself and it seems like a mountain is the things to do and I just can't climb it today , I can't even look at it!! I feel guilty when this happens because my husband and 16 yr old has to do extra things and it's not fair to them. I hate this bipolar thing because it envolves our entire family and friends and it's just not fair to any of them.
Well, gonna go lay down. I will pray for you!
GOD BLESS!
Zita

After a week, nearly two, of feeling somewhat balanced, or "normal", or whatever it was, I feel today as if I'm teetering on the edge. I feel somewhat depressed, even after yesterday's encouragement to others. Maybe I was in a mild hypomanic episode, and today is just the "crash"...whatever.

At any rate, I am going to go back in the living room, and lie down, and probably take a nap. I have SO much I need to do, but I'm feeling sad and incapable today. I just want to sleep.

I do have a few external things pressing me down...the biggest being my mother in law and her stupid ideas , her greed, and her being pushy lately (long story-- I love her, really, and she is usually kind and not at all pushy), and my husband, who's picked up her lead, and now putting everything we planned for our own home on hold, including my horses' corral and shelter, which was supposed to have been all built already. Winter's coming on, and they'll have no shelter-- much less the bigger pen the three of them need to have. The pile of lumber has been sitting out there for four months now.

I wish I had the time or the patience to bore you all with the details of what's going on here at my house, but when I think on it too long, it literally makes me feel sick inside-- and sad.

Please, please pray for me today...I will try too, but I don't feel as if I have the strength to do even that. I'm going to go lie back down now and vegetate.

 

[rushingwind62]

Zita....I will keep you in my prayers and if I can help in any way feel free to PM

I'm in the same boat, so I know what your feeling.
I have so very much to get done myself and it seems like a mountain is the things to do and I just can't climb it today , I can't even look at it!! I feel guilty when this happens because my husband and 16 yr old has to do extra things and it's not fair to them. I hate this bipolar thing because it envolves our entire family and friends and it's just not fair to any of them.
Well, gonna go lay down. I will pray for you!
GOD BLESS!
Zita