BTW I was wondering if a man would like his wife to lose some weight what is the best approach to say this? I've said things like that to my Christian wife. One time she said I'm being controlling and I just agreed.
Your approach hinges on two factors. Does she respect you and have a teachable spirit? If you’re fortunate to have both qualities in tow it will be easier. It is your responsibility and hers as a spouse to address problems you observe in one another lovingly. I don’t believe anything is off limits. While you may elect to put it on the back burner or ignore it altogether you have a right to discuss your concerns nonetheless.
We are expected to honor our temples and you shouldn’t support its abuse in yourself or her. I would start with a physical to rule out any maladies that may be contributing to her weight. It puts the subject in the right framework and provides medical confirmation. I would inquire what’s a healthy weight for her stature within acceptable guidelines. Don’t allow yourself to be swayed towards a number that is clinically overweight or worse. It’s hogwash.
You have to factor in her personality and weaknesses. Some are more sensitive about the subject than others. Some are more controlled diet wise and others aren’t. You need to be cognizant of what she’s eating and the portions she serves herself. Activity is the other prong. How often does she move? Are you willing to invest in equipment or gym membership? And what level of involvement are you prepared to have if any? You need to decide that before you talk.
Weight is a mental affliction. Food is merely the mechanism for excess. The decision occurs within and you’ll need to understand what’s driving the behavior and its continuance. No one looks in the mirror and is oblivious to what they see. Barring certain disorders of course. What you need to understand is why she permits it. No one wants to be fat and we’re increasingly image conscious as a society. She’s confronting her state continually but what’s the trigger? What‘s the bottom she has to reach to say enough? For many it’s a health crisis and that’s the result you want to avoid.
Before you encourage her to address the problem you need to know why it’s there. You may want to open the discussion about her beginning to determine when the weight crept on. Did she experience something painful? Was it a coping mechanism and so on? Ask her how she felt and if she’s tried to change it. If she says she has, ask what happened and what she’d do differently. Ask her what she struggles with as well. Does she have a sweet tooth? Prone to binges? Frequently overeats and so on.
The best thing you can do while she talks is listen and show your support. It isn’t difficult to lose weight once you’ve decided. It’s hard when you’re married to your belly. That’s the secret of staying thin. She’ll need a support network as well. Talking to others working towards the same can be helpful. Especially if she has a lot to lose. A nutritionist helps and gives more accountability. You may want to get her a smartwatch or fitbit to track her activity.
This is a popular christian author who’s written a lot of books on the subject. She offers classes as well.
When it comes to her diet you’ll need to be aware of the things coming into your home. Don’t allow her to stock up on chips and snacks or soda. If you partake do it outside of her presence. The more she relinquishes junk and processed foods the more she’ll lose. And don’t forget about prayer. Pray for her health and the Lord’s conviction on the subject and stand against the spirit of gluttony when you do. Don’t allow her to put you off. She’s only delaying the problem and making it harder down the road.
No one addresses the realities of being overweight when you’re older and the difficulties others have if you’re injured. My aunt and uncle were visiting for the holidays a few years ago. She fell in the house and had to remain on the floor until her husband returned because her sisters couldn’t pick her up. There’s a point in our lives when we may require assistance with daily living. To accommodate that season we put things in order beforehand to make it easier for others.
It can seem daunting at first but adopting a healthy lifestyle in your home is the best approach and most likely to succeed. Which may require changes from you as well. If you do it together she may stay the course.
~bella
