I have thought a lot lately about my past. I've dug deep into all the pain and anguish. Before I became a christian I wished i could have changed things. I thought about all the nerdy things I did, all the screwups I had made, the people I didnt make friends with because they were too cool. I wished I was the kid that everyone hung out with, I wished that I didnt have a dislike for sports such as basketball, football, baseball and such. I wished I was the star in the big show.
After I became a christian, all these thoughts had changed. I'd started thinking what in my past has lead me to this point in time. What would have happened if I had changed this about myself or had taken the other path this one time. I play back the memories, both good and painful and realized that without pain and suffering, there will be no victory. I wouldn't say that I have suffered as much as some, but to me getting picked on everyday at school, wanting to commit suicide, having the girls act like they liked me and then make fun of me when i actually thought they were serious.... These were serious things in my mind. I wanted to be wanted.
Ive come to realize that if I was the cool kid, I wouldnt have been sympathetic to those in need or in poor spirit, I wouldnt have needed Jesus to save me because I was too cool for that and would never have a broken spirit. I would have felt invincible. If I hadn't been sexually active at age 16 and gotten my heart broken severely, I would have been going to the clubs and bringing home random girls.
At one point in time I think everyone has wished that they could go back in life and change something. Whats in the past is in the past, there is no use beating yourself up for anything that happened. Besides that, if your past changes, your future changes. Just think Back to the Future.
If Jesus had given up when he was persecuted, if he had committed one sin, JUST ONE, if he hadn't followed Gods plan for his life. We would be the ones walking the wrong path. We would fall short of the glory. We would not enter heaven. The repercussions would be endless.
Next time you wish you could have changed your past, think over, think of what got you to here and now.
After I became a christian, all these thoughts had changed. I'd started thinking what in my past has lead me to this point in time. What would have happened if I had changed this about myself or had taken the other path this one time. I play back the memories, both good and painful and realized that without pain and suffering, there will be no victory. I wouldn't say that I have suffered as much as some, but to me getting picked on everyday at school, wanting to commit suicide, having the girls act like they liked me and then make fun of me when i actually thought they were serious.... These were serious things in my mind. I wanted to be wanted.
Ive come to realize that if I was the cool kid, I wouldnt have been sympathetic to those in need or in poor spirit, I wouldnt have needed Jesus to save me because I was too cool for that and would never have a broken spirit. I would have felt invincible. If I hadn't been sexually active at age 16 and gotten my heart broken severely, I would have been going to the clubs and bringing home random girls.
At one point in time I think everyone has wished that they could go back in life and change something. Whats in the past is in the past, there is no use beating yourself up for anything that happened. Besides that, if your past changes, your future changes. Just think Back to the Future.
If Jesus had given up when he was persecuted, if he had committed one sin, JUST ONE, if he hadn't followed Gods plan for his life. We would be the ones walking the wrong path. We would fall short of the glory. We would not enter heaven. The repercussions would be endless.
Next time you wish you could have changed your past, think over, think of what got you to here and now.
