As briefly as I can put it...
I used to work with, let's call him, Phil. I recruited him, trained him, worked with him and spent a lot of hours working with him for about a year. Got to know his live in girlfriend (of 4 years) (let's call her Marie) listened to his tails of ring shopping and their discussions concerning when they would marry etc. (He knew my feelings on the subject...). He was doing well at work, especially after his past job where he earned nothing for 6 months while Marie supported him 100%.
So, 7 months ago, big surprise, Phil suddenly quits. No one saw it coming. His brief explainations didn't hold water and then he fell off the face of the earth - did not return phone calls etc. He left owing some people "business" which = money (including me) and just walked away to a nothing of a job with an hourly wage. Very perplexing. Lots of "why did Phil quit" discussions including some of us wondering if we did anything wrong and what we could have done differently.
So, a few days ago I worked with a young lady in the office I knew slightly and we got to know each other rather well with her pouring out her heart a lot (people tend to do that with me) and she mentioned that she was a lesbian and how badly some people in the office had treated her when she was outed" etc.
She mentioned that several months ago she had been in a gay/lesbian bar and had been surprised to see Phil there, who she harldly knew but recognized. Phil was very amorously involved with another young man. She had tried to catch him to tell him not to panic, his secret was safe with her but when he saw her, he bolted. She sent an e-mail to him saying "Don't worry - I'm not telling." He did not respond and went to great lengths to avoid her in the office. Two weeks after she saw him at the bar, he quit.
I have no reason to disbelieve what the young lady said. She was talking to me about the strain when some people know and some don't and this came to mind. My concern here is for Marie. I am concerned about her risk of STDs. He is choosing to participate in risky behavior, but if she does not know, that she is unknowingly at risk.
I have friends who acquired STDs from unfaithful husbands who had no clue they were unfaithful until they had a routine exam. Such behavior is so selfish and their anger over not knowing and the pain they felt was devestating to the relationships.
I am not a fan of running around telling people of other people's sins. But in this case, this sin is putting her health and life at risk.
I can argue myself into telling Marie something and I can argue myself into saying nothing, but I don't feel good about either position. I am praying about this and thought I'd seek additional advice as I wrestle with this.
Advice?
I used to work with, let's call him, Phil. I recruited him, trained him, worked with him and spent a lot of hours working with him for about a year. Got to know his live in girlfriend (of 4 years) (let's call her Marie) listened to his tails of ring shopping and their discussions concerning when they would marry etc. (He knew my feelings on the subject...). He was doing well at work, especially after his past job where he earned nothing for 6 months while Marie supported him 100%.
So, 7 months ago, big surprise, Phil suddenly quits. No one saw it coming. His brief explainations didn't hold water and then he fell off the face of the earth - did not return phone calls etc. He left owing some people "business" which = money (including me) and just walked away to a nothing of a job with an hourly wage. Very perplexing. Lots of "why did Phil quit" discussions including some of us wondering if we did anything wrong and what we could have done differently.
So, a few days ago I worked with a young lady in the office I knew slightly and we got to know each other rather well with her pouring out her heart a lot (people tend to do that with me) and she mentioned that she was a lesbian and how badly some people in the office had treated her when she was outed" etc.
She mentioned that several months ago she had been in a gay/lesbian bar and had been surprised to see Phil there, who she harldly knew but recognized. Phil was very amorously involved with another young man. She had tried to catch him to tell him not to panic, his secret was safe with her but when he saw her, he bolted. She sent an e-mail to him saying "Don't worry - I'm not telling." He did not respond and went to great lengths to avoid her in the office. Two weeks after she saw him at the bar, he quit.
I have no reason to disbelieve what the young lady said. She was talking to me about the strain when some people know and some don't and this came to mind. My concern here is for Marie. I am concerned about her risk of STDs. He is choosing to participate in risky behavior, but if she does not know, that she is unknowingly at risk.
I have friends who acquired STDs from unfaithful husbands who had no clue they were unfaithful until they had a routine exam. Such behavior is so selfish and their anger over not knowing and the pain they felt was devestating to the relationships.
I am not a fan of running around telling people of other people's sins. But in this case, this sin is putting her health and life at risk.
I can argue myself into telling Marie something and I can argue myself into saying nothing, but I don't feel good about either position. I am praying about this and thought I'd seek additional advice as I wrestle with this.
Advice?
