will the pain ever stop?

[Searching4Hope]

well first off i have lost 5 ppl close to me in the past year. i cant understand why i cant just get over it.
first one of my great aunt died in Oct of '05
then my 1st cuz killed himself cuz he had stabbed another great aunt of mine. Oct 05
my cuz who was 12 in april '06
a good friend of mine from high school died in June 06 she was 18
my grandfather July 06
and this might sound weird but my dog died in Oct of this year and it hit me hard i had her for almost 12 years

the biggest one was my 12 year old cuz who died from a 8 month battle with cancer when she died in April of this year. it was just a shock and i didnt understand why God didnt heal her. i guess i was just [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed off at God (i am still a little bit) everytime i hear the song Bad Day i think of her and cry. cuz that was the first song i heard after i was told she had passed away. i just wanna be able to move on and not think about it anymore. idk what to do or how to deal with it.
im the kinda person who stuffs it all inside till i blow up. i dont like telling my friends how i really am or whats going on with me. cuz i feel like its my prob not theirs.

am i just a jerk and being selfish still thinking about this?

sry that was so long. and thanks if u read it.

 

[jsimms615]

well first off i have lost 5 ppl close to me in the past year. i cant understand why i cant just get over it.
first one of my great aunt died in Oct of '05
then my 1st cuz killed himself cuz he had stabbed another great aunt of mine. Oct 05
my cuz who was 12 in april '06
a good friend of mine from high school died in June 06 she was 18
my grandfather July 06
and this might sound weird but my dog died in Oct of this year and it hit me hard i had her for almost 12 years

the biggest one was my 12 year old cuz who died from a 8 month battle with cancer when she died in April of this year. it was just a shock and i didnt understand why God didnt heal her. i guess i was just [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed off at God (i am still a little bit) everytime i hear the song Bad Day i think of her and cry. cuz that was the first song i heard after i was told she had passed away. i just wanna be able to move on and not think about it anymore. idk what to do or how to deal with it.
im the kinda person who stuffs it all inside till i blow up. i dont like telling my friends how i really am or whats going on with me. cuz i feel like its my prob not theirs.

am i just a jerk and being selfish still thinking about this?

sry that was so long. and thanks if u read it.

You really haven't given yourself enough time to grieve. It takes at least a year usually to start getting over the loss of someone close to you and often longer than that. You have that compounded because you have several losses to deal with that makes it worse.
How do you express those feelings that you have about that loss? How do you express those feelings of anger at God? I believe that it is okay to express those feelings to God and that you don't understand why he didn't heal your loved one. God is big enough to handle your anger.

 

[artjack]

pray to god for things you already have.

 

[Searching4Hope]

You really haven't given yourself enough time to grieve. It takes at least a year usually to start getting over the loss of someone close to you and often longer than that. You have that compounded because you have several losses to deal with that makes it worse.
How do you express those feelings that you have about that loss? How do you express those feelings of anger at God? I believe that it is okay to express those feelings to God and that you don't understand why he didn't heal your loved one. God is big enough to handle your anger.

how do i express my feelings.....sometimes i cry but i dont cry that much. i take out my anger on myself or i break stuff. i kno its not the best way but idk how else to deal with things. this is the way i have been dealing or not dealing with things for a long time.

 

[Nilla]

I agree with jsimms that God can handle you being mad at Him so just let it out.

If you're scared that once you let it go you can't stop then don't worry about that. It's not healthy to carry it all inside, and def not to take it out on yourself.

If you want someone to talk to PM me and I'll listen to you. I've lost my brother so I know a bit of what you're going through.

Please, find someone you trust and talk to them...for your own sake. And give it time...it won't go away over night.

 

[rushingwind62]

well first off i have lost 5 ppl close to me in the past year. i cant understand why i cant just get over it.
first one of my great aunt died in Oct of '05
then my 1st cuz killed himself cuz he had stabbed another great aunt of mine. Oct 05
my cuz who was 12 in april '06
a good friend of mine from high school died in June 06 she was 18
my grandfather July 06
and this might sound weird but my dog died in Oct of this year and it hit me hard i had her for almost 12 years

the biggest one was my 12 year old cuz who died from a 8 month battle with cancer when she died in April of this year. it was just a shock and i didnt understand why God didnt heal her. i guess i was just [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed off at God (i am still a little bit) everytime i hear the song Bad Day i think of her and cry. cuz that was the first song i heard after i was told she had passed away. i just wanna be able to move on and not think about it anymore. idk what to do or how to deal with it.
im the kinda person who stuffs it all inside till i blow up. i dont like telling my friends how i really am or whats going on with me. cuz i feel like its my prob not theirs.

am i just a jerk and being selfish still thinking about this?

sry that was so long. and thanks if u read it.

It takes time for healing to come and even when it does come the pain never fully leaves. When you love someone so much there is nothing that can fill that space in your heart. Just remember death is a part of life and it is something none of us have control over. That is why it is important we witness to those around us and those we love. When someone passes that knows the Lord there is comfort in knowing where they will be.

Give it time, you are still in the grieving stage and anger is one of the emotions we go through. Esspecially when one has lost as many as you have. If you feel you are stuck in the grieving process then seek professional help and counseling. Don't be afraid of counseling with a pastor or a licsensed counselor. Many seek them out in the grieving process....My prayers are with you....Rush

 

[Amin]

I don't think you're a jerk at all.
I think you may be wanting something to be over quickly that takes time.
Grief is one thing that will take it's course.
Like someone else said, the grieving process could last up to a year.
Allow yourself to feel the loss, and give time and patience to heal.
Chuck.

 

[i1will1obey1god]

the pain never really goes away but time heals it a bit so that you can still be sad yet be able to be happy my grandmother died today so right now it feels like i'll never smile again but i know over time it won't hurt so much

 

[lavenderskies]

Healing takes time and the pain never completely goes away. I lost my father in 1996, a child in 1991, and another child in 1994. I still miss them all. My father was the hardest for me. I was angry to. I wrote a letter to my father and one to my heavenly father in which I did a lot of venting. It really helped me to get it all out.

 

[eveningsunset]

Bless your heart...You do need to talk out your frustrations dear...Don't keep them bottled up inside...

 

[Katieg]

It has been 11 years since I lost my mother and I have realized that this grief never will go away – it will just change over time. And it takes a long time – not what everyone else would like it to take – like a month or two!!!! What is wrong with these people who do not understand the pain that is involved with this process. I finally found a book on Amazon.com that really helped. It was an easy read and seemed to “speak” to me and made me understand that what I went through was the “norm” and I was not abnormal or nuts!! It talked about the culture we live in as well and why it makes things so difficult.
The name of the book was Baby Boomers Face Grief but it talked generally about grief and a little bit about why this will be so hard for Baby Boomers.

 

[Amin]

It has been 11 years since I lost my mother and I have realized that this grief never will go away – it will just change over time. And it takes a long time – not what everyone else would like it to take – like a month or two!!!! What is wrong with these people who do not understand the pain that is involved with this process. I finally found a book on Amazon.com that really helped. It was an easy read and seemed to “speak” to me and made me understand that what I went through was the “norm” and I was not abnormal or nuts!! It talked about the culture we live in as well and why it makes things so difficult.
The name of the book was Baby Boomers Face Grief but it talked generally about grief and a little bit about why this will be so hard for Baby Boomers.

Hi, I believe you to be right. I lost my dad 22 yrs. ago, and my mom just last June. I still miss them and would love to hold them, But your attitude may change. But you never really get past missing them.
Chuck.

 

[Jenna1226]

It looks like you've really been through a lot in the past year... I would say no, you're not a jerk. At all. And that it makes total sense for you to be grieving - it'd be conerning if you weren't. It's not selfish to miss people, and it's not wrong to be sad (or hurt or angry or any of that) about it. God can help you, if you'll let Him... and really, while grief counselors and all that are good, He's the only one who really can.

 

[traceyy]

I honestly don't think that the pain will ever disappear, but it will fade away little bit in the time. what has helped me was a prayer, my friend and family and one more thing . I am not able to post here website links but it really helped me to create memorial website for my girl. It was at last-memories.com. It really helped me because strange people wrote me letters how they feel about my loss and so it was easier for me to cope with my grief.

 

[Mask]

I for all of you who are dealing with grief!

Death can be a really hard thing to deal with. Every one is different and needs different amounts of time to get over it. Everyone deals with their grief in different ways...as long as it isn't distructive to you or others, then it's fine.

I can totally relate to you! About 4 years ago, a crazy amout of death tore through my family in about a year and a half span. My mom died, then my brother-in-law was killed in an accident, I miscarried three babies (in one year), my husband's nephew was killed in an accident and then my dad died. I also had the loss of two special friendships. I was totally overwhelmed with grief! Honestly I still am recovering from it. The pain and sorrow has gone but the stress has left it's toll...depression! I too was mad at God. I was very confused about why everything happened, especially the miscarriages! I've had to learn to put my trust in God again. Give it time....it will get better. Maybe you need to talk to a councellor about it.

 

[lavenderskies]

My daughter is dealing with so much grief right now. She lost a friend to suicide 5 months ago and another one in the last 2 weeks. Grief is so hard. I am praying for all of you.