Will I ever REALLY stop being judgmental?

[reid.stady]

Here's the problem: I'm not walking blatantly in sin, the Lord over the last few years has taken some bad "external" things away from me (porn, a lot of lust, drugs, alcohol, stealing...) and blessed me with some incredible things, like this really good job (I just got a promotion yesterday), a house with four other Christian guys, He's given me the money to fix up my car multiple times recently when I've been in need, I have a WONDERFUL girlfriend of 2 & 1/2 years and we're slowly moving in the direction of engagement, and somehow with all of this I'm so lukewarm and apathetic inside.

Me and my roommates are even talking about a trip to Israel next year, just to see where everything began and to see the bigger picture, but more than I want to see the city, I want to know the Creator and be absolutely head over heels in love with Him, but... I'm not. I do things (like going to church) because I know I'm supposed to, but my heart is so lukewarm, and on top of that, because I'm so hypercritical of myself, I turn that towards others and get super judgmental, at least inside.

Is there any hope that God can and still wants to change my heart? Any success stories? I have such a good future in store in the world's eyes, but my heart is MESSED UP inside... this is not the man I want to be for the rest of my life. Stories anyone, of God radically changing hearts, especially from not a new Christian perspective, but someone who's been a follower for a number of years?

 

[Anihilus]

I will send you a video in a PM that might help.

 

[Luther073082]

Will you ever completly stop judging people. . . no probably not.

The thing that best works for me is to recognize it within myself when I'm doing it. If you start to recognize it then you can cut yourself off when you are doing it. Plus it helps you do it less in the future.

 

[KGirl]

I can give you my opinion and testimony that I greatly believe would make a big difference in your life. I would also encourage you to pray and read your Bible if you would like to confirm if you should take my advice..
I would suggest to talk to a spirit filled preacher or leader who believes in deliverance. See, when you sin you become susceptible to spirits entering your life who can control certain aspects of you and your mind. You can repent, but still have issues and need deliverance.
An example I had was how I use to have depression that ruled my life. I went to a church service where an evangelist rebuked the spirit of depression out of/away from me and whenever I feel depression I can rebuke the spirit myself and feel free. There would be times when my mother would pray against a spirit that had me in bondage and I would feel a strange relief and like I was able to be myself.
Some good resources would be a book called "Released From Bondage" which has Bible verses in it to go along with the stories and message.
As far as verses go, here are examples..
Mark 16:17 tells us, "These signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils."
Mark 1:27, "And they were all amazed, insomuch that they questioned among themselves saying, What thing is this? what new doctrine is this? for with authority commandeth he even the unclean spirits, and they do obey him." As we can see in Luke 4:35, Jesus was not afraid to exercise His authority either, "And Jesus rebuked him, saying, Hold thy peace, and come out of him. And when the devil had thrown him in the midst, he came out of him, and hurt him not."
Luke 10:17-19, "And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name. And he said unto them, I beheld Satan as lightning fall from heaven. Behold, I give unto you power (translates to AUTHORITY) to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you."
How did Jesus' disciples go about casting out demons? Through His name. Luke 10:17 tells us, "And the seventy returned again with joy, saying, Lord, even the devils are subject unto us through thy name."
I hope this helps!

 

[TanteBelle]

Here's the problem: I'm not walking blatantly in sin, the Lord over the last few years has taken some bad "external" things away from me (porn, a lot of lust, drugs, alcohol, stealing...) and blessed me with some incredible things, like this really good job (I just got a promotion yesterday), a house with four other Christian guys, He's given me the money to fix up my car multiple times recently when I've been in need, I have a WONDERFUL girlfriend of 2 & 1/2 years and we're slowly moving in the direction of engagement, and somehow with all of this I'm so lukewarm and apathetic inside.

Me and my roommates are even talking about a trip to Israel next year, just to see where everything began and to see the bigger picture, but more than I want to see the city, I want to know the Creator and be absolutely head over heels in love with Him, but... I'm not. I do things (like going to church) because I know I'm supposed to, but my heart is so lukewarm, and on top of that, because I'm so hypercritical of myself, I turn that towards others and get super judgmental, at least inside.

Is there any hope that God can and still wants to change my heart? Any success stories? I have such a good future in store in the world's eyes, but my heart is MESSED UP inside... this is not the man I want to be for the rest of my life. Stories anyone, of God radically changing hearts, especially from not a new Christian perspective, but someone who's been a follower for a number of years?

Here's the problem I find with most folks. Yeshua (Jesus) said, "Judge not lest you be judged'. Now He didn't say, "Don't judge!" because that imediately goes against what He said that the more important issues of the faith and the Law are; 1. judgement, 2. mercy, 3 faith. IN THAT ORDER! What He's saying is that if you are going to place judgement on issues, expect for others to retaliate against you and judge you back! We are not to judge others just upon our own opinion but with the Word or as scripture says, 'judge not in these things but the body of Messiah'. What people mean and don't want when they say, 'don't judge me' is, 'don't condemn me'. And that is very true. The condemning is not our part to do. God is the one who does that; but we are expected to let a brother in faith know of his faults WITH ALL BROTHERLY, HOLY LOVE. "Iron sharpeneth iron." Yes, many won't like the truth. The darkness never does like the light. But it is what God expects of those who are His. And if they heed what God says about their wrongs, with all humility they will accept that and change. And so will you if they do retaliate and judge you on something that you are wrong on. It is by knowing what is wrong and right in His eyes that makes 'the sinful utterly sinful'.

 

[Kol]

Some good advice so far, tho i'm not sure how much of it's applicable here. I think it's pretty clear from Romans 2 that all condemnation is really self-directed, and you seem to know this already. You hate murder because murder is a horrible thing to do: it's evil, malicious, and morally unacceptable. When you eventually look at all the things that you hate (your new spirit, that is), you'll see that they all have one thing in common: they are all sins. You hate sin in other people. Which is natural, because you hate the sin in yourself...otherwise, you wouldn't be who you are today, a christian. That's good though: we're told to abhor that which is evil.

There is a difference between condemnation and being judgemental, though. Hebrews states that the mark of a mature christian is the ability to distinguish between good and evil..sounds like what you're doing. You're not saying others are lesser than yourself, you're hating what you see (sin) in them, and therefore hating what you see in yourself. Which again, is pretty introspective and...cool. You get it. You should judge sin.

Christianity is not a single choice though. It is a walk. I can't tell you how he's going to change you. I can't tell you what he's going to change you into. But I can tell you he'll do it on his time and never our own. Keep praying. Maintain your faith. Tell him, "lord, I don't know your plans, but I submit to them obediently. You've saved my soul, now please, lord, save my heart."...or something to that effect. You'll probably figure it out.

It's been a long trip for me, too. He does what he wants when he wants to. He's an excellent military commander...but he conquers different aspects of our selves in the order he thinks best, not what we think best.

Hope this helps.

 

[breathe_light]

I have a similar problem with self-criticism. Through reflection, I'm starting to realise that I don't really believe it when God says that I am His creation and that is sufficient for my worth. The "I've got to be better" mentality, even if it's "better for God," eradicates the need for grace. It means we haven't sumbitted ourselves to the law of God which tells us to come as we are, be accepted, and accept others. I'm still working it out for myself but I think part of it is letting go of my own expectations of myself and how God should treat me, accepting his grace, being thankful, and generously giving this grace to others. I'm trying to accept compliments (being thankful for someone's gift of encouraging words) and be gentle with my weaknesses (instead of pouring anger onto myself for them).

I can't say I've had a success story so far but I think there's hope for you. You've identified your issue and said "I don't want to be that way." You've obeyed God in other areas of your life. Now it's time to tackle this one...a change of which will really inform the way you see yourself, others, and God!

 

[TanteBelle]

I have a similar problem with self-criticism. Through reflection, I'm starting to realise that I don't really believe it when God says that I am His creation and that is sufficient for my worth. The "I've got to be better" mentality, even if it's "better for God," eradicates the need for grace. It means we haven't sumbitted ourselves to the law of God which tells us to come as we are, be accepted, and accept others. I'm still working it out for myself but I think part of it is letting go of my own expectations of myself and how God should treat me, accepting his grace, being thankful, and generously giving this grace to others. I'm trying to accept compliments (being thankful for someone's gift of encouraging words) and be gentle with my weaknesses (instead of pouring anger onto myself for them).

I can't say I've had a success story so far but I think there's hope for you. You've identified your issue and said "I don't want to be that way." You've obeyed God in other areas of your life. Now it's time to tackle this one...a change of which will really inform the way you see yourself, others, and God!

I can't seem to highlight or do anything to point out what I am addressing here, but you said in here that 'we haven't submitted ourselves to the law of God which tells us to come as we are'. I'm kinda wondering what law you are talking about considering all the prophets, apostles, and the Messiah Himself say that except you repent and turn to following God, you can not be one of His. Perhaps I understood you wrong, I don't know, but God is a god of renewal and a forsaking of who you are. God can not accept the carnal nature of man.'For the carnal mind is enmity against God; it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can it be.''Except your righteousness exceed the righteousness of the scribes and pharisees, you can in no wise enter the kingdom of heaven.''And it shall be our righteousness if we observe to do all these commandments, statutes, and judgements, that He has set for us this day.'

 

[jongier]

When I hear your story I start to think of my own. I was quite the punk about 3-4 years ago. Doing a lot of binge drinking, smoking pot, not really making any money especially with no job. Somehow I ended up in Newport OR, found out it was just like my hometown so since I was in a new place yet vaguely familiar I did what makes me comfortable, so I abused, I wouldn't say it was a bottom but it was enough abuse for me to be open to the presence of God. That from what I hear from what your saying is what happened to you.
I heard a song on a Christian radio station and felt; maybe not the presence of God, but the seed actually being planted. I immediately started to go to church, and went completely nuts, threw away all secular things, movies, music, books ( I later regretted it because I got some things that were actually important). I think I went to far with it. I wouldn't go to the movies with my friends because it wasn't about Christ or faith. I never realized how much I was pushing myself, away from myself. God steered me to the man I am today, and made some serious changes in my life. But you can bet your cheaks they would still say i'm the same Jon I've always been, except now I'm compassionate, trust worthy and a brother of the Children of God. Do I still listen to hard rock you bet ya, I may not be some skate kid anymore, but now you can find me going down a run on my trail bike.
What I mean to get at is as I was being so radical and pretending I wasn't judgemental, or negative, or a fake, I wasn't ever going to let God help me. All those things that I didn't show, just kept building up. The guilt got at me bad, and I broke down and told my men's ministry. As I started talking about the things I have realized about myself (and how I wasn't doing the "walk" like another poster said), I instantly felt the hand of God on me. THIS WAS A WHOLE YEAR AFTER MY BAPTISM!! This is right before my 23rd birthday.
As soon as I showed the truth of what I was feeling to God and my brothers, I was right where and exactly who God wanted me to be. Even in my imperfections. Maybe your jugdemental because, he wants you to take a closer look about it in His Word and your prayers. I promise you, that if you face this head on, God will take care of it in your life. Remember communication, with the Holy Spirit, as well as your fellow Christians.
I like what a poster said about judging sin. Maybe your just not hanging out with your Christian buddies. If your being that way with your friends talk to them, I don't know a single person in my church that wouldn't have an open ear to what I have to say. I can't imagine it not being that way at your church. So reach out man, but remember I'm 25 now and God is constantly working on things with me. As He will in you too.
YBIC.

 

[RachieCat]

In my lifetime I hope I grow into a less judgemental adult and I struggle with it because I am always facing it out here,day in day out. I'm biracial and obviously judged as well but I use it maybe. I think you sound more together than you think and taking everything into consideration I'd say you're on the best road. I liked your post btw. Made me smile.