Wife says that monogamy is not possible for her

[saturnnights]

Okay, this floored me - what response is there for this statement? She also claims to be a Christian and that she doesn't feel that her adultery is bad - or at least, bad enough to require asking God for forgiveness. The point being that she said that she's not going to change her ways anyway, so why ask for forgiveness?
But stating that she was never cut out for marriage because she's just not monogamous... What can a person say in response to that??

 

[BlueJay83]

It certainly is a tough one. I don’t think there is much that can be said other than “after so many years together, ouch, that really hurts”
By the sound of her reasoning she doesn;t have a good grounding in Christianity or what Salvation actually is. It sounds lke she’s in a manic phase and is trying tpo “connect the pieces” to rationalise the emotions she’s feeling. Which means they (BiPolar sufferers) change their beliefs to suit the situation.

I don’t know how Manic your wife can become, has she ever required to be in Psychiatric facility at all, or is she fairly stable?
Is she able to sit for a while and actually rationally talk things through without getting side tracked or missing the point?

My wife seems to be incapable of holding an adult conversation for more than a few minutes, then she seems to switch off and tries to redefine the issue. She will randomly start talking about another issue or will start making blanket statements and give up.

I guess what I’m getting at is,
Is this possibly another phase of her manic cycle, and she will eventually change her mind (as they so often do) and realise she has a good guy at home?

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

Saturn, have you talked to a pastor about your needs in your marriage? You need an outlet, preferably (is that even spelled right?) a Christian one to give you advice on what YOU can do if you aim to stay in this marriage.

 

[saturnnights]

I have talked with a couple of pastors and they're very good and very supportive. I think that my situation is a little overwhelming for other people to try to understand. I find that lately, my best outlet is praying - I do that more now than ever in my life, which is probably what God was aiming for...

 

[saturnnights]

It certainly is a tough one. I don’t think there is much that can be said other than “after so many years together, ouch, that really hurts”
By the sound of her reasoning she doesn;t have a good grounding in Christianity or what Salvation actually is. It sounds lke she’s in a manic phase and is trying tpo “connect the pieces” to rationalise the emotions she’s feeling. Which means they (BiPolar sufferers) change their beliefs to suit the situation.

I don’t know how Manic your wife can become, has she ever required to be in Psychiatric facility at all, or is she fairly stable?
Is she able to sit for a while and actually rationally talk things through without getting side tracked or missing the point?

My wife seems to be incapable of holding an adult conversation for more than a few minutes, then she seems to switch off and tries to redefine the issue. She will randomly start talking about another issue or will start making blanket statements and give up.

I guess what I’m getting at is,
Is this possibly another phase of her manic cycle, and she will eventually change her mind (as they so often do) and realise she has a good guy at home?

These are all very good questions, and only God knows for sure

I am lately starting to distance myself from her, hoping that if she's just accustomed to knowing that I'll always take her back, then maybe she'll think that her time to make the tough choices may be running out. Honestly, I think that I may just need the distance for my own health.

 

[Autumnleaf]

But stating that she was never cut out for marriage because she's just not monogamous... What can a person say in response to that??

The only thing I can think of saying to that is, "Goodbye."

 

[McScribe]

The only thing I can think of saying to that is, "Goodbye."

I agree. It probably hurts very much but honestly, I'm hearing that she doesnt care what it does to your relationship. It's not like she's controlled by her urges, she chooses how to respond.

 

[HeKnowsMyName]

How are ya'll doing Saturn?