Why?

[JdwB10]

I have been reading different posts on this forum, and I came to rather scary conclusion while doing so; so many people have a very strange idea as to what love is. They say, "I'm falling in love" and then that "they're falling out of love".

It saddens me to see it, because I don't believe that there is a such thing as falling in and out of love. Love is a choice! Not a feeling. Feelings are fleeting; they come and go. Love is constant and unwavering. Why can't people see this? So many people are in relationship after relationship after relationship, and they hurt because the relationships don't turn out, but they based their actions on a fleeting feeling! Sometimes they go into the relationship because they "love" the person. Then they break up because they "no longer love" the person.

Now, obviously, there are legitimate reasons to break up with someone, and only that individual knows what's best for themselves. But I don't see how people can claim to "fall in love" so often. Love is a battlefield, as Pat Benetar put it, and I believe that the statement is true. True love is a fight; we don't base it off of our emotions or even our circumstances. Just because we feel as though it's dying, doesn't mean it is.

Does anyone else see this? Or, maybe even, disagree with what I've said?

 

[The Nihilist]

I have been reading different posts on this forum, and I came to rather scary conclusion while doing so; so many people have a very strange idea as to what love is. They say, "I'm falling in love" and then that "they're falling out of love".

It saddens me to see it, because I don't believe that there is a such thing as falling in and out of love. Love is a choice! Not a feeling. Feelings are fleeting; they come and go. Love is constant and unwavering. Why can't people see this? So many people are in relationship after relationship after relationship, and they hurt because the relationships don't turn out, but they based their actions on a fleeting feeling! Sometimes they go into the relationship because they "love" the person. Then they break up because they "no longer love" the person.

Now, obviously, there are legitimate reasons to break up with someone, and only that individual knows what's best for themselves. But I don't see how people can claim to "fall in love" so often. Love is a battlefield, as Pat Benetar put it, and I believe that the statement is true. True love is a fight; we don't base it off of our emotions or even our circumstances. Just because we feel as though it's dying, doesn't mean it is.

Does anyone else see this? Or, maybe even, disagree with what I've said?

I think you're arrogant for presuming to tell others what love is, but I'm not sure I disagree with you. Don't worry about it, they'll figure it out. This is a thing you only learn with experience.

 

[JdwB10]

My intention was never to tell people what love is, which was why I asked if anyone disagreed. My opinion of love is based off of my own experience, and what I've read from the Bible. If I came across like I was trying to tell others what love was, I apologize. It really wasn't my intent.

If I have the wrong idea about love, I would hope someone would let me know.

 

[SiyoNqoba]

I've learned the same thing over the last few years.

Love is a choice, that's why relationships take work. You have to wake up every morning and choose to love the person you're with.

 

[waxlion10]

It doesn't just happen here; it happens in real life, too. I think everyone defines love a bit differently, and no matter how much we express our opinions, they have to learn it for themselves.

 

[seashale76]

I have been reading different posts on this forum, and I came to rather scary conclusion while doing so; so many people have a very strange idea as to what love is. They say, "I'm falling in love" and then that "they're falling out of love".

It saddens me to see it, because I don't believe that there is a such thing as falling in and out of love. Love is a choice! Not a feeling. Feelings are fleeting; they come and go. Love is constant and unwavering. Why can't people see this? So many people are in relationship after relationship after relationship, and they hurt because the relationships don't turn out, but they based their actions on a fleeting feeling! Sometimes they go into the relationship because they "love" the person. Then they break up because they "no longer love" the person.

Now, obviously, there are legitimate reasons to break up with someone, and only that individual knows what's best for themselves. But I don't see how people can claim to "fall in love" so often. Love is a battlefield, as Pat Benetar put it, and I believe that the statement is true. True love is a fight; we don't base it off of our emotions or even our circumstances. Just because we feel as though it's dying, doesn't mean it is.

Does anyone else see this? Or, maybe even, disagree with what I've said?

People don't like to hear this truth, especially if they're in the midst of the extreme emotions relationships and their troubles can bring about.

 

[DarkLegend28]

I agree with you, totally. But it really took me a while with trial and error to figure out how feelings work and how relationships work.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

I agree love is a choice and not merely a feeling. However It can feel pretty darn awesome too! Of course it's the elements of choice that help you keep loving the person at times you may not feel like it. I think love is caring about a person so much that you desire to put their needs ahead of your own and would give or do just about anything to make their life better and bless/help them. I think if both people make this effort to live selflessly, the rewards will be unending. The love that people fall in and out of quickly is usually a selfish love, less about blessing another person and more about having one's own needs met.