Why Would A Lawyer Keep Going?

[Isilwen]

I have been dealing with my ex-wife taking me back for more child support for just about six months now. She has a lawyer and I do not. Been doing it pro se.

I have provided all that is needed to see that I do not have more money to give. I am paying out more that I receive between health insurance for me and the kids (wouldn't have it if I didn't have to have it for the kids), child support and taxes. I will use this month as an example. My gross income for the year to date is $1,947. My net income to date is $863.93. The total being paid out for child support and health insurance is $887 a month.

We have been to mediation which I think was just a check mark to say that they have done it before the judge. It wasn't done in good faith effort on their part. Total time for mediation was 20 minutes. We were slotted for two hours. The mediator even said he's not sure how they think that I have any more money to give based on my finances. On top of it, her lawyer wants me to pay her lawyer fees and will not take no for an answer.

They see my finances. They see that I don't make any money. Last year my net income for the year was $10,060. Please, someone tell me how they expect me to keep a roof over my head and our children's head if they take more from me? How can I put food in their stomachs and mine? Not to mention all the other things that come with renting an apartment?

Why would the lawyer, who sees my income keep going like this?

It's stressful for me, I now have hypertension (high blood pressure), I barely sleep at night even when I theoretically get 8 hours of sleep I am awake for almost two hours a night.

 

[thecolorsblend]

Men almost always get a raw deal in these cases. Pro se is a difficult situation since most people have no legal training and representing oneself is a serious challenge. You'd think the necessity of pro se would illustrate your financial challenges. But you'd be gravely mistaken.

Hate to say it but it may be necessary to search around for an attorney who will represent you pro bono.

Just remember, the legal system regards your ex as a victim because she has girl parts. And it regards you as guilty because you have boy parts.

 

[Isilwen]

Hate to say it but it may be necessary to search around for an attorney who will represent you pro bono.

I did when this first started. I was told that my gross income is too high. No one would do pro-bono because my income is too high.

My only option is pro se. It sucks and yesterday I wanted to give up and call the lawyer and tell her that she won, take what you want and my girlfriend, her family and my family talked me out of it.

 

[Isilwen]

Waiting now for the hearing. Hands are shaking, mind is all over the place and just don't like doing this

There are lots of lawyers here for other such cases and I am the only non-lawyer here other than my girlfriend who is here for moral support. I wish I could have hired a lawyer, but I just don't have the money to do so. It would have made things much easier and it's possible that this would be other by now. I'm not sure how she thinks I can live with an income that is less than $850 a month and still be able to keep a roof over mine and my kid's heads and food in our stomachs. My ex-wife gets over $1200 a month tax free as it's disability money.

Kinda feel like, as I said in my OP, the lawyer should see I don't have extra money to give and just say we're done. Maybe she is still going hoping that I just give in?

Friends and family are saying that I should keep fighting this. Part of me just wants to give up, to give in so it ends.

 

[Darkhorse]

Friends and family are saying that I should keep fighting this. Part of me just wants to give up, to give in so it ends.

Don't give in. Present the facts, and leave it up to God.

 

[brinny]

Waiting now for the hearing. Hands are shaking, mind is all over the place and just don't like doing this

There are lots of lawyers here for other such cases and I am the only non-lawyer here other than my girlfriend who is here for moral support. I wish I could have hired a lawyer, but I just don't have the money to do so. It would have made things much easier and it's possible that this would be other by now. I'm not sure how she thinks I can live with an income that is less than $850 a month and still be able to keep a roof over mine and my kid's heads and food in our stomachs. My ex-wife gets over $1200 a month tax free as it's disability money.

Kinda feel like, as I said in my OP, the lawyer should see I don't have extra money to give and just say we're done. Maybe she is still going hoping that I just give in?

Friends and family are saying that I should keep fighting this. Part of me just wants to give up, to give in so it ends.

i'm soooo soooo sorry. Praying that God intervenes in this dire and grossly unjust quagmire, and that He ministers to your heart, mind, and spirit, and protects you from all that would harm you. (((hug)))

 

[Isilwen]

Thank you all!

It was just a final hearing date setting meeting. So, we have a final hearing in four months.

I talked with her lawyer afterwards trying to see why our numbers were so different. She was discounting some of the money paid into health insurance for my other kids. Apparently, she doesn't have to do so. We looked up the statute and she is correct.

However, she actually wants $400 a month for my ex-wife. That is $300 more than I pay now for pure child support, not counting the amount I pay for health insurance. That would leave me with $563 a month roughly in income to live off of.

As I said, how can a lawyer keep doing this knowing it could send someone to the streets?

 

[Isilwen]

Don't give in. Present the facts, and leave it up to God.

That is what I am trying to do, but the lawyer doesn't seem interested in facts. She sees I don't have the money, yet she is continuing?

I have been told to get a second job. Problem is that in Florida, they will also count that income and take from that as well. I would lose one whole paycheck to child support. What would be my motivation to do such a thing? None that I can think of. I would literally be going to work for free as I wouldn't see a cent from it and then they are still taking from my other job too.

This is so stacked against father's it's insane. meanwhile, I had my daughter last year for school. I didn't go to court to have the child support amended to reflect the change. I kept it as is and continued to pay her as though she had both the kids.

I have been told that I am too nice a guy and that nice guys finish last. That I need to change. That goes against who I am.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Did you choose the description "Christian Seeker" yourself , and what does that mean for you ?

 

[Isilwen]

Did you choose the description "Christian Seeker" yourself , and what does that mean for you ?

I did, yes and that's because I left the Catholic church and am "seeking" another church to join. I think I have narrowed it down to the Episcopal church, but not sure what your question has to do with this topic.

Please keep it on topic.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I did, yes and that's because I left the Catholic church and am "seeking" another church to join. I think I have narrowed it down to the Episcopal church, but not sure what your question has to do with this topic.

Please keep it on topic.

It is on topic, because it (what you do) totally depends on the direction you are going. (towards God or away from Him)...

I did not know what the term "Christian seeker" meant until you answered it here, at least for yourself.

I first thought it meant someone seeking "Christian" life, but not yet knowing what that entailed.

 

[Isilwen]

It is on topic, because it (what you do) totally depends on the direction you are going. (towards God or away from Him)...

I did not know what the term "Christian seeker" meant until you answered it here, at least for yourself.

I first thought it meant someone seeking "Christian" life, but not yet knowing what that entailed.

I am a Christian, so I am hopefully always moving towards God.

Glad I could clear that up, at least in regards to what it is for me, for you.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

Yes, thanks !

 

[Isilwen]

Yes, thanks !

No advice?

 

[Darkhorse]

I have been told that I am too nice a guy and that nice guys finish last. That I need to change. That goes against who I am.

Well, if you don't advocate for yourself (by seeking to reduce your child support because she's living with you), then you can expect to pay more than your share.

Jesus said "Lend, and expect nothing back" and "If he demands your coat, give him your shirt too".
If you are going to follow those principles, you can expect to be short of money, at least part of the time.

 

[Isilwen]

So, overnight, she dropped on me that her lawyer and her talked and they are going back to the original papers of every other weekend time sharing. First, that is not what the original was. Not even close to that. Second, I will not agree to that. It's not fair to my kids or me to only get them four days a month.

Her reasoning is she gets a break from them and if she wants to do something with them she can. I offered one weekend a month she can have them to do something with them. She said no, that she would would ask me when she wanted them. When she asks for them, I have never said no. When her dad or mom wants them, I have never said no. I have never kept them from her when she asked for them on my weekends.

I am thinking that the lawyer redid the numbers and realized that she couldn't get what she was asking for and had to rethink how to get the money she promised. So, she came up with me having them for a less amount of time.

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

No advice?

Trust Jesus.

 

[TheDag]

Lawyers are advocates who are paid to be biased in favour of their client. Could be that your ex is giving instruction or lawyer has given her options and she has decided to keep going or lawyer is pushing towards keeping her going so they get more money. Sadly when lawyers are invovled in dovorce then they usually end up with most of the money while kids miss out.