Why won't god free me from this addiction

[Mason08]

Howdy all, my name is Mason. I come from a very conservative, and religious family so my upbringing was under these conditions. Since puberty really I've been tempted by the devil to watch gay pornography and each year I say to myself this is it, I'm done, and I fall right back down. From the outside my life would seem perfect, I'm athletic, smart, study architecture however, I am corrupt on the inside. I've missed out on so many opportunities with girls because the this addiction has been holding me back. I want to be in love, and have a family of my own someday but with this temptation I dont know if i can. I've tried everything to free myself from not masturbating, to blocking safari on my phone. This year I went a month without watching gay pornography and I thought I had finally defeated it however it came back. I was devastated and cried out to god. I yelled at him in tears to show himself to me. I was angry I couldn't understand why I had to struggle with this, it isn't fair. I begged him to take it away. Luke 11:9-12 says, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." I don't understand, I am a faithful servant, I've devoted my life to god, and I'm in pain, I cant do this alone, why won't he help me, I begged him that night, but I got no answer. I've never heard god talk and sometimes I find myself doubting my faith. The next day my mother sensed something was wrong but I couldn't tell her the truth this has been a secret of mine for years, my own personal hell. I just want to start living, and not miss out on life as it goes by but I need to be free. Please any advice and prayers is appreciated. I've never told anyone this.

 

[barotaro]

Yeah i've had the same struggles also since puberty. God isn't there just to give us what we want, and in fact others will tell you that this kind of ordeal is a way he tests our faith. I doubt you heard the devil talk either. Let me ask before i go further, are you attracted to these girls at all?

I pray that your burden will be lightened soon

 

[IamSaved84]

In the book of Matthew, Jesus says that some demons will not go but by prayer and fasting.

That being said, I recommend going on a fast to show God how serious you are about being delivered from this addiction. If prayer is the equivalent of a .47 caliber, then prayer with fasting is a NUCLEAR WARHEAD in the spirit realm. As long as you've repented of any sins and have sincere heart, God will absolutely answer you. It is extremely rare for a person to enter into this level of consecration and not hear from God. <staff edit> Cut off the television and disconnect yourself from the internet/social media. Spend meal times in prayer and studying the word of God, and let the Holy Spirit lead you in determining the length of your fast. It will be difficult in the beginning, especially if you've never done it before, however the results will absolutely blow you away! You should expect to hear from God within a couple of days of your fast, however don't be discouraged if it takes a little longer as our prayers and fasting have no expiration date. Will be praying for you.

 

[NeedHelp87]

Howdy all, my name is Mason. I come from a very conservative, and religious family so my upbringing was under these conditions. Since puberty really I've been tempted by the devil to watch gay pornography and each year I say to myself this is it, I'm done, and I fall right back down. From the outside my life would seem perfect, I'm athletic, smart, study architecture however, I am corrupt on the inside. I've missed out on so many opportunities with girls because the this addiction has been holding me back. I want to be in love, and have a family of my own someday but with this temptation I dont know if i can. I've tried everything to free myself from not masturbating, to blocking safari on my phone. This year I went a month without watching gay pornography and I thought I had finally defeated it however it came back. I was devastated and cried out to god. I yelled at him in tears to show himself to me. I was angry I couldn't understand why I had to struggle with this, it isn't fair. I begged him to take it away. Luke 11:9-12 says, "So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." I don't understand, I am a faithful servant, I've devoted my life to god, and I'm in pain, I cant do this alone, why won't he help me, I begged him that night, but I got no answer. I've never heard god talk and sometimes I find myself doubting my faith. The next day my mother sensed something was wrong but I couldn't tell her the truth this has been a secret of mine for years, my own personal hell. I just want to start living, and not miss out on life as it goes by but I need to be free. Please any advice and prayers is appreciated. I've never told anyone this.

I started out this way. I don't understand why we are born with these desires either. Everyone has a burden to bear but some are harder to bear than others. Why did God give us this burden? Why??!! I'm completely right there beside you. However, I'm married and keep this double life away from my spouse and everyone I know. I shouldn't have married anyone because I know it will eventually end in heartbreak.