why is sex special?

[dusky_tresses]

hi everyone,

I am just wondering, I know that sex is supposed to be special and all, but for some reason there is a part of me that doesn't entirely understand what is so special about it. How is it special? What makes it special? Are there certain circumstances? How does love fit in? Why is it so important to be in love? Isn't sex just a physical act? What makes sex special when it's with someone you love/care about? How are emotions tied in? Is it gross??

Sorry about all these questions, Id just like to know and have some answers before it's too late when I get older.

Thanks!

 

[Soma]

Sex as an expression of love is special. Sex for physical pleasure or release is not special, but perfectly natural and healthy.

 

[Cerridwen]

Hey~

Sex technically is a physical act, however, making love is not. There can be sex that is simply for physical gratification, but intercourse with someone you love is much more special, & there is much more to it than just "getting off".

I see no problem with people having healthy sex lives, once they are adults & are careful & responsible about it. This is the kind of "casual sex" that doesn't have a great deal of meaning behind it. The whole purpose in this type of sex is simply that, sex. The physical sensation of it.

When you are involved in a serious relationship with someone you love, sex can be a way to deepen the connection you have with that person, physically, emotionally, & spiritually. Making love between two commited people gives a depth to the act itself, in that you aren't in it specifically for the physical pleasure of it, but for the emotional closeness you can feel with your partner. This is why casual sex can never feel as "good" as sex with someone you love.

Hope that makes some sense to you.

Love & Blessings,Cerridwen*

 

[transientlife]

I think sex is best reserved for when it comes from the love of two people in a relationship, but that's just my own opinion.
Otherwise, I pretty much echo Cerridwen on this one. Most important emphasis on responsibility!

 

[no-islam-in-startrek]

Fantasic responce Cerridwen, spot on.

 

[joebudda]

In a sexual population, some of the creatures born have lots of mutations and some have few. If the ones with lots of mutations die, then sex purges the species of mutations. Since most mutations are harmful, this gives sex a great advantage.

This never-ending evolutionary cycle describes many natural interactions between hosts and disease, or between predators and prey: As species that live at each other's expense coevolve, they are engaged in a constant evolutionary struggle for a survival advantage. They need "all the diversity they can get" because the landscape around them is constantly changing, Therefore making sex (causing diversity in a species) a very important part in this.

 

[Thithy]

My opinion on why sex is special is coming from a Christian standpoint. When you have sex with someone you are joining your body to theirs to become "one flesh". Sex is not love, and love is not sex, you cannot get those two confused. However sex can be used to express your love to someone.

Another reason why I consider sex to be special is because it is a way to create life. It's really quite an amazing process, almost magical.

Also for women why it is special is because everytime a woman has sex they release a hormone that emotionally ties them to that person. So even if it is a one night stand they are still connected to that person.

Sex is not something you forget. If someone asks you if you had sex in the last 6 months you don't have to think about it. You know.

Because sex is such an emotional act (especially for women) I think it is extremely important to save it for marriage. The more you have sex with people outside of marriage the more you cheapen it. By saving yourself for marriage you will make sex even more special because it is something that you have only done with your spouse.

 

[dusky_tresses]

can someone clarify the whole emotional connectedness aspect?

 

[artofwar]

Sex is unification with a man and a women , its all about a covenant, when people made a covenant they used to slay a calf or something so it was signed in blood, we sign things to be in "covenant" with say a mortgage loan or patrner ship in business etc but with blood is the highest form of a covenant, hence the hyman, when a women bleeds for the first time she is going ino a "covenant" with that person which is supposed to be a lifelong agreement, hence the reasoning behind 1 partner for life and being a virgin until you are married is so important. thats the reason why the hyman is there and why a "blood" covenant is so important

 

[CZzyzx41]

wow Thithy said that very well. I'll compliment her post and add simply from the standpoint of someone who believes in the Bible that there are plenty of scriptural passages that warn us and command us to avoid any fornification, lustful acts, or whoredoms. Sex is for marriage and intended for procreation and an expression of love between husband and wife. For someone who isn't christian I think thithy's post Still applies as a good explanation.

 

[artofwar]

yes very nice exlpanation thithy

 

[rainbowprism]

Is you have sex with someone that creates a 'soul tie'. Can be very difficult to break if you two don't last....

 

[seebs]

From a pragmatic standpoint, I tend to recommend that people avoid non-committed sexual relationships or activity; although some people seem to be fine with this, some seem to find that it has long-term effects on their later wellbeing and relationships. YMMV. I don't see much benefit to condemning people. Further, the majority of the people I've seen condemn premarital sex had it when they were younger. It's easy for me, at 32, to say "well, that's not a good idea", but at 17, I was in bed with a girl who... I don't think I can describe it on this board, but I was happy. So, not my place to judge.

 

[Cerridwen]

Hey~

Sex is unification with a man and a women , its all about a covenant, when people made a covenant they used to slay a calf or something so it was signed in blood, we sign things to be in "covenant" with say a mortgage loan or patrner ship in business etc but with blood is the highest form of a covenant, hence the hyman, when a women bleeds for the first time she is going ino a "covenant" with that person which is supposed to be a lifelong agreement, hence the reasoning behind 1 partner for life and being a virgin until you are married is so important. thats the reason why the hyman is there and why a "blood" covenant is so important

Ummm...just an FYI, not all women bleed the first time they have sex. Also, if a woman has ever used a tampon for her period or had a pelvic exam, she doesn't have a hymen. The hymen is almost never completely intact once a girl reaches puberty, as the hymen is either completely or partially opened to allow for the passage of menstrual blood. So, nah...that argument doesn't work anymore, Love.

Love & Blessings, Cerridwen*

 

[artofwar]

Ummm...just an FYI, not all women bleed the first time they have sex. Also, if a woman has ever used a tampon for her period or had a pelvic exam, she doesn't have a hymen. The hymen is almost never completely intact once a girl reaches puberty, as the hymen is either completely or partially opened to allow for the passage of menstrual blood. So, nah...that argument doesn't work anymore, Love.

Sorry not true, sometimes the Hyman does tear but there is usually some of it that breaks during sex, and the thing with using a tampon is absolute rubbish I know heaps of girls or have used them and still bled the first time they had sex, I dont know where you get your info from unless your speaking from experience but I have seen surveys done where what you are saying is about 10-15% which means very rare

 

[Cerridwen]

Sorry not true, sometimes the Hyman does tear but there is usually some of it that breaks during sex, and the thing with using a tampon is absolute rubbish I know heaps of girls or have used them and still bled the first time they had sex, I dont know where you get your info from unless your speaking from experience but I have seen surveys done where what you are saying is about 10-15% which means very rare

Um, sorry. It is true, being as I am a WOMAN & I would know. I said that most girls who use tampons do not have much of a hymen left, I didn't say that girls who use tampons won't bleed the first time they have sex. I did say that NOT ALL girls bleed the first time they have sex, and it doesn't matter is they used tampons or not. I didn't, my best friend didn't, my sister in law didn't, my other sister in law didn't, etc.

The reason a girl may bleed when she has sex is not because of the hymen tearing generally, it's because the vaginal walls & the mouth of the cervix are very thickly lined with blood vessels. This is why when a woman has "rough" sex, she may bleed; why when a woman has a pelvic exam, she may bleed; why when a woman has sex when she is in the third trimester of pregnancy she may bleed.

You know "heaps of girls" who bled, eh? And I suppose you were the one taking their virginity? Or at least in the room with them at the moment? Otherwise, you don't know, unless you have first hand experience.

Love & Blessings, Cerridwen*

 

[artofwar]

You know "heaps of girls" who bled, eh? And I suppose you were the one taking their virginity? Or at least in the room with them at the moment? Otherwise, you don't know, unless you have first hand experience

"sigh" i could say the same for your comment on your sister inlaw and such didnt bleed couldnt i??? no it wasnt me that took it but the told me and on some occasions i saw the blood on the sheet.
you keep changing your "story " . read my post on it this is why the Hyman was designed for a blood covenant , i couldnt care less if you have an opinion thats different Iam stating what I believe

 

[The Bellman]

Also for women why it is special is because everytime a woman has sex they release a hormone that emotionally ties them to that person. So even if it is a one night stand they are still connected to that person.

Could you provide some more information about this hormone? I've never heard of it.

Sex is unification with a man and a women , its all about a covenant, when people made a covenant they used to slay a calf or something so it was signed in blood, we sign things to be in "covenant" with say a mortgage loan or patrner ship in business etc but with blood is the highest form of a covenant, hence the hyman, when a women bleeds for the first time she is going ino a "covenant" with that person which is supposed to be a lifelong agreement, hence the reasoning behind 1 partner for life and being a virgin until you are married is so important. thats the reason why the hyman is there and why a "blood" covenant is so important

What nonsense. Just to point out the more obvious flaw, this means that no marriage that isn't the woman's first can be "real". So much for widows who want to marry again. This superstitious association of blood with some sort of agreement between the participating partners is ludicrous and without any basis whatsoever in fact or in scripture.

Secondly, as has been pointed out by Cerridwen, not all girls bleed the first time. Particularly today, when girls are more physically active, use tampons, etc., it is by no means uncommon for a girl to not bleed the first time she has sex. I guess this makes their marriages not "real", too?

 

[Cerridwen]

Hey~

How do I keep "changing my story"? I'm simply stating facts. I haven't changed anything I said, I merely clarified a few points you apparently misconstrued. It isn't my "opinion" that not every girl bleeds when she has sex for the first time. It's fact. You are certainly entitled to your opinion on the matter, & I never stated nor implied that you weren't. However, just because it is your opinion that the female hymen was "designed for a blood convenant" doesn't refute the evidence that shows otherwise.

Love & Blessings, Cerridwen*

 

[The Bellman]

"sigh" i could say the same for your comment on your sister inlaw and such didnt bleed couldnt i??? no it wasnt me that took it but the told me and on some occasions i saw the blood on the sheet.
you keep changing your "story " . read my post on it this is why the Hyman was designed for a blood covenant , i couldnt care less if you have an opinion thats different Iam stating what I believe

And the word is "hymen", not "Hyman". And I don't even want to know how you saw the blood on the sheet from some girl's losing her virginity - and more than once!