Why go to the altar?

[HeWatchesOvaMe]

OK so wat is so important about goin to the altar? Last night I asked my fiance of 3 years why it is takin so long for us to get married. He said he wants me to take that next step in my walk with God and go to the altar during altar call before he will marry me. He said he wants me to be on the same level as him. What is so important about it? I am a shy person and it is uncomfortable for me to go to the altar. Why can't I just pray in my seat? If I went up to the altar to pray I would be so nervous I wouldn't be able to concentrate on God. Isn't it more important to focus on praying than to focus on staying calm?

 

[ChildOfGod20]

i am a shy person as well and i have also wondered why its so frowned upon when you dont go to the altar. why cant you pray at your seat instead? i think i would also not be able to concentrate on God because i would just be so nervous knowing that people are looking at me. but i dont understand why he wont marry you because of it. everyone has their comfort zones and everyone has growing to do (even married people). why does this have to happen before he'll marry you? so i dont think i have an answer for you. sorry i hope someone can answer because ive been wondering as well

 

[lismore]

Hi There

All I can say to you is that altar call is not exactly biblically essential:

Romans 10:9That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

If you believe in Jesus You are saved

But, some people say this verse;

Matthew 10:32 NIV
"Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.

means you should go up front.

Sorry I cant be more help to you

Lismore

OK so wat is so important about goin to the altar? Last night I asked my fiance of 3 years why it is takin so long for us to get married. He said he wants me to take that next step in my walk with God and go to the altar during altar call before he will marry me. He said he wants me to be on the same level as him. What is so important about it? I am a shy person and it is uncomfortable for me to go to the altar. Why can't I just pray in my seat? If I went up to the altar to pray I would be so nervous I wouldn't be able to concentrate on God. Isn't it more important to focus on praying than to focus on staying calm?

 

[Christina M]

Hi sweetie,


Being on a level-playing field IS very important in a marriage. The bible tells us to be equally-yoked. Sometimes even just being two Christians is not being equally-yoked because of fundamental differences each may have. For example, it could be hard for a strong Catholic to be married to a strong Pentacostal, if both were really set in the ways of their denominations. It could cause trouble later on.

Your fiancee may be looking to see that you are serious about your walk with God. Part of the seriousness is to put God before ANYONE else. That would mean your love for God would overcome your fear of looking funny down at the altar.

I believe God sees your heart - in your seat or at the altar. But, there are times when humbling yourself - not caring what people think - is a real act of submission to the Lord.

That being said, I do not think you should go to the altar JUST to please your fiancee! You should do it when it is the right time for YOU! You will know when the time comes.

 

[dignitized]

OK so wat is so important about goin to the altar? Last night I asked my fiance of 3 years why it is takin so long for us to get married. He said he wants me to take that next step in my walk with God and go to the altar during altar call before he will marry me. He said he wants me to be on the same level as him. What is so important about it? I am a shy person and it is uncomfortable for me to go to the altar. Why can't I just pray in my seat? If I went up to the altar to pray I would be so nervous I wouldn't be able to concentrate on God. Isn't it more important to focus on praying than to focus on staying calm?

going to the alter is an outward confession of an inward work. SOme churches want that outward expression - some thing the outward expression causes the inward grace - another example of dogma run amok

 

[HeWatchesOvaMe]

We are both the same denomination and love the Lord eqally. I spend hours in prayer and reading my Bible and he does not spend as much time as me doing those things. However he does outwardly show praise (like going to the altar). So it's not like either one of us is closer to God than the other. I just don't understand the emphasis on going to the altar. I don't feel a need to go at all. I'm perfectly fine praying at my seat. What is the purpose? And where are bible references for it?

 

[akasmom]

The church that I got saved at had an altar call after every service (and someone always answered!). Part of what the Pastor would say is "Jesus said if you deny Him before men he'll deny you before the Father; coming up to the altar is just a way of taking the step to publicly acknowledge Him before men." I don't think, and I doubt most people think, that you have to answer an altar call in order to be saved. But it is a way, like Christina said, to put aside your own issues and do something an authority figure is asking you to do - to humble yourself.
So here's some questions you might want to ponder:
- Why does my fiance think I am not at the same level as him? Is he being religious in his thinking about how to get saved? Or does he see me as having an issue that answering the call might help, such as being able to put aside my discomfort at being in front of people long enough to make a public declaration of faith?
- Do I feel like he is trying to control me or make me meet a standard that I somehow resent?
- Why is it so hard to answer the call? What exactly are people going to think when they see me up there, and why on earth would I care? (I ask that one as someone who also has had trouble getting up in front of people)
- And if you are that uncomfortable in front of people, how are you going to get through the wedding, which will pretty much put you on display all day long?

You know, once you go up to the altar, it might open some doors for you in other ways that you haven't considered yet. Jesus has made you free from bondage, including the bondage of what other people think! Maybe going up there is really what you need in order to break free from this fear. I used to be absolutely phobic about getting up in front of people, but He had to make me free because now He uses me sometimes to give a word of prophecy or something in front of people. How could that have happened if I was too afraid to speak up?! Pray some more about it and talk to your pastor; whether or not you go to the altar to answer Christ is going to impact whether or not you go to the altar with your fiance, so this issue needs to get solved before you can progress in your relationship with either.
Blessings and peace and wisdom to you both!

 

[dignitized]

we have an alter call at every service, but we don't make people walk forward. Christ is quite capable of finding your seat

 

[swifteagle]

If I were you, I would make an appointment with my Pastor for you and your fiance'.

Maybe he can help you understand why your fiance' is attaching strings to the marriage date.

swifteagle ><>

 

[Christina M]

You know, once you go up to the altar, it might open some doors for you in other ways that you haven't considered yet. Jesus has made you free from bondage, including the bondage of what other people think! Maybe going up there is really what you need in order to break free from this fear.

Good word, akasmom!

 

[NewSong]

OK so wat is so important about goin to the altar? Last night I asked my fiance of 3 years why it is takin so long for us to get married. He said he wants me to take that next step in my walk with God and go to the altar during altar call before he will marry me. He said he wants me to be on the same level as him. What is so important about it? I am a shy person and it is uncomfortable for me to go to the altar. Why can't I just pray in my seat? If I went up to the altar to pray I would be so nervous I wouldn't be able to concentrate on God. Isn't it more important to focus on praying than to focus on staying calm?

I have been raised with making my steps to the altar and being in churches where people are generally not altar shy. However, my dear friend, this is something that I don't think I can answer based on the fact that you have a fiance and since I have a daughter that is engaged as well, I would tell her to work it out with her fiance and GOD.

But...for myself and if I can share what is important about going to the altar, again I say for myself, by making that step of going to the altar with the intent of God changing my life, it is my way of saying okay I have made this decision and if I make it public I am more apt to keep my committment and focus with GOD and to remember that day I took the step out to the altar. People go to the altar all the time and it don't change them ...the altar does not change them. God changes them and so I am altar friendly and constantly laying it there and not for folk to see but because I need a place that is set aside for just me and GOD.

I will say a prayer for you to come to terms with how you are going to answer your fiance, the open altar, and for you to come to terms with what you need to do. I pray that God would give you direction and HE would guide you and your future husband.

In HiS love,

 

[jiminpa]

I say this in all humillity. I think some people and denominations have made an idol out of the alter call. It is not scriptural, (not that is in violation of scripture either). It's just one of those symbols that have become more important to some than the real thing. The alter is a symbol. We all need some sort of alter, but it doesn't have to be a public one. In fact I think that we all need a private alter, and the public one is very optional, but it helps some people to go forward, (me included), and not necessarily for salvation. In our church it is more common to see alter calls to deal with Christian issues, and sometimes I respond, and sometimes I deal with things in my seat. If someone else handles their issues in their seat, or at home later, what's the difference?

I have more opinion on the whole thing, but that is best left out of it.

 

[RHJ]

For me... it's not about the front being the alter, it's the fact that at the front, at the alter, I can kneel before my God in humility. I don't particularly like the public eye on me, but if they want to stare, let them stare. If GOD isn't calling you to the alter, don't go. If GOD, not your fiance calls you to the alter, you go. If your fiance has a problem with that, maybe you two should seek pastoral counselling.

 

[Angel*Eyes]

Like some others have said, only go to the altar when God tells you to.


It seems like he is trying to make you be like him spiritually.
A lot of times people try to make others like them without realizing the error in their ways. We are all different and have different personalities ... so we will even have different approaches to spirituallity.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Billy Graham gave a very good explanation of why it was important to get up out of your seat and walk forward to the front if you were accepting Christ as Saviour. He said that it was a public confession of your private decision. This was something that God honours because you are having the courage to stand up before your friends and the others in the meeting that God has challenged you and you are responding to Him.

It is important that you do it because you believe that this is what God wants you to do. It is something that you and God agree on that it is appropriate to get up and walk forward, making a public confession of your faith.

If you feel pressured by the pastor or preacher or your friends to do it, then stay seated! Wait for the conviction in your heart that the Holy Spirit wants you to go forward. Then you are going forward to meet with God, and not the minister or preacher. Then you will be open to receive from God the ministry you are seeking.

But there are other things that God does in you that you would never confess publicly, because God does not embarrass people in front of others. For example, if you were healed of genital herpes, you are not going to go forward to the altar and confess that in front of 400 people in your church, are you? And God would not expect that of you.

I was in a meeting where a young guy publicly confessed that he had a masturbation problem. I felt that it was shocking and inappropriate that he felt he had to do that in front of all those people. God would never expect that of a person. Some Pentecostal leaders can be incredibly stupid and insensitive about these things. If I was a member of a church where something like that was done, I would walk out of that church, brush the dust off my shoes against it, and find a church where leaders are more loving and sensitive to people.

So, I agree with those on this thread that say that you need to be prompted by God to go forward and confess anything publically. If in doubt, don't. Sometimes it is better to make a private appointment with the pastor and talk things over with him. But make sure the pastor's wife doesn't bring up your problem in the next prayer meeting! (Oh! cynical me!)

 

[AveMaria]

You've been given some great advice on this thread so far.

I realize that opinions on headship and spiritual leadership range (and I'll leave my own opinion out of it), and I'm not part of a tradition that practices altar calls, and so I realize my advice might be unwanted or not very useful, but one thing did jump out at me.

How does the fact that he is making your wedding date contingent upon this really make you feel? Given that, do you feel comfortable with the idea of him being the spiritual head of your household (assuming you believe in headship)?

I'd recommend a lot of prayer, and if possible, talking to your pastor or someone else from church who you respect (ie, an elder/deacon).

 

[heron]

HeWatchesOverMe,
There's a good representation of things to think about above. I agree, the altar call is not scriptural but being open about your faith is. It seems you are already doing that.

It sounds as though you are way past the point of altar calls, and the formality would appear publicly as if you were a newbie...almost giving a false impression, unless the call was for general prayer.

Akasmom brought up the issue of control. In a lot of people, this story would twang a tender cord. His insistence could represent a broader tendency to condescend, compete, demean or control. Even though this appears a harmless request, this is your big chance to look at who he is (rather than the person you wish him to be--it's a normal dating phenomenon) and consider if you can have this influence in your life for 3 years times 20.

Being with someone every day means that every choice they make and quirky demand they have impacts how you live. There are wonderful benefits, but in a broad sense, you're putting the rest of your life into his hands.

Opposites attract, and he will obviously have different concerns and passions and fears than you. Every marriage has to go through some rough moments realizing differences...but you grow stronger in respect for each other. This is a good opportunity for you two to work out a process of dealing with these differences.

 

[janny108]

There are times to go to the altar to show a public declaration of faith, and times where one should not feel pressured or less "spiritual" if they don't go. I was in a charismatic church for about 6 months and they made a deal of going to the altar every week. There was not that much teaching. It was more about emotional release than anything IMO.Sometimes church can get "showy". But yeah, I think if both of you talk to your pastor that should help clarify how you should view going down to the altar. Being led to is something I've done, other times I haven't.

Jan