Why do we push pepole away

[armyguy1979]

Hey a all whats up i just want to know something why dose it seem like when ever we get in to a reaiship that we want more than anything that we have probloms you know if you are dating a christian or a non beliver oh dont get me wrong i know we all are to be equally yorked but why do we push love away as a single man i would like to know that thank you

 

[Sketcher]

Please use punctuation so we can all understand what you're trying to post here.

 

[ummidrinkcherrycoke]

I think we all have different reasons for pushing people away. But for me it’s a complete fear of commitment. The moment I sense relationship in the air I tend to tuck tail and run. I’ve hurt a couple doing this but don’t know what to do about it.

 

[hischildsindik]

Why do we push people away?

Good question. I think it's different for all people and even in different relationships or different times in the same relationship.

It can be fear of love, fear of commitment as has been said before. It can be fear of the intensity of emotion that can come with a serious relationship. I could be a test of love, if they love me they will pursue me. And it can have absolutely nothing to do with the other person. Actually it usually has nothing to do with the other person. I know for me at times long past it was a fear (irrational as it was) of if they knew who I was or what happened to me they wouldn't really like me, they couldn't really love me. Sometimes it's easier to be alone and in pain than have to learn to share and be open. And on the other side of that, it's sometimes easier to be alone that having to learn to be vulnerable and helpless in a relationship, for neary all things we can not "fix" for another person. Thus we are helpless.

 

[plum]

I know that I push people away because I'm afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt. This doesn't always happen. It simply depends on the person. And I know that if a friend of mine or someone I care about pushes me away, I just let them know I'm here...and make a point of loving them actively in case they feel like opening up.