Why do I get so judgemental?

[Skrock77]

I have a problem and it's a little embarrasing...

When I see someone driving a BMW, Mercedes or any car or SUV in that nature, I automatically think he or she is stuck-up and one who doesn't want anything to do with someone less fortunatethen they are.
Sorry!, but this is how I think!! I hate it.

I also have a problem with someone standing next to me that appears to have their hair, clothes, etc just so-so. I can't stand it. I think they are GREEDY and STUCK-UP!

Can anyone give me advice?????

Thanks so much!

God Bless

 

[rogsr]

People that drive $50,000 BMW's could drive a $15,000 Honda and give the other $35,000 to the many many many sick and homeless people that live in our country. These people are suffering from greed.

People who spend a great deal of money on themselves and their attire are suffering from vanity.

I used to hate them too, now I just feel sorry for them. When Christ judges us I feel that these types of things will be looked at closely. My advise to you is to focus on and be thankful for your relationship with Jesus and don't worry about other peoples sins. Also, don't forget the story about the rich man and sick lazarus. Who went to heaven? People who say they are Christians and still drive beamers are not authentic.

God be with you sister

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Hey, I drive a SUV!

I know what you're saying. One of my biggest problems that I automatically come to assumptions about people by what they're wearing, what they're driving, how they look, etc., etc. I think it's great that you recognize that you're doing it. Now it's something you can really work on.

I find myself doing it a lot and I have to basically retrain my brain on how to think. I tell myself that I really don't know that person and have no reason to judge. I have no right to judge.

(FWIW, my payment is only $30 more a month, my insurance went down and the reason I now have a SUV is that a city truck pulled out and tore off the side of my Neon. Never felt safe after that. It's not that I think that I'm better than anyone or that I'm really more better off. Payment wise, it kind evens out. I just feel safter--especially in the winter).

By you thinking that they're greedy and stuck up doesn't make you any better than them (if they really are!).

 

[Rafael]

I have a problem and it's a little embarrasing...

When I see someone driving a BMW, Mercedes or any car or SUV in that nature, I automatically think he or she is stuck-up and one who doesn't want anything to do with someone less fortunatethen they are.
Sorry!, but this is how I think!! I hate it.

I also have a problem with someone standing next to me that appears to have their hair, clothes, etc just so-so. I can't stand it. I think they are GREEDY and STUCK-UP!

Can anyone give me advice?????

Thanks so much!

God Bless

Appearances can often deceive us. If your aware of the problem, you have already achieved more than half the victory over it. Just tell God and submit you problem to Him in prayer, asking for help in repentance. Our faith is a gift from God, and He can help us grow in self-control over prejudice. I've had to fight that too, and I think most people have to fight their prejudices and tendency to go by first impressions in this life when we are called to love and think the best about people, giving them the benefit of the doubt. We always ask for forgiveness and for grace to grow, then forget the failures and move on towards the goal we have in Jesus.

Eph 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:

1 Cor. 13:7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Php 3:13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,

 

[rogsr]

If one knows the face of greed and the face of vanity then one will have a better chance at avoiding those things.

caelda,
If I got a sweet deal on an SUV or a nice truck I'd get it too, but not if it was something that I didn't need. That doesn't make me a saint but it does mean that I am not being greedy and vain in that area. Do you kind of get what I'm saying.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

caelda,
If I got a sweet deal on an SUV or a nice truck I'd get it too, but not if it was something that I didn't need. That doesn't make me a saint but it does mean that I am not being greedy and vain in that area. Do you kind of get what I'm saying.

I understand what you're saying. I've thought about getting rid of it just for the reason the OPer stated above. However, doing calculations, I'd be in the hole and the entire trade-in would be worthless. I received a decent deal, I'm not really paying too much more money for my piece of mind and safety. I do not feel guilty for that. I probably paid for my SUV for what an "average" used car goes for.

The fact is that there are some people who live only for the status. You see people having to wear only certain clothes, drive certain cars, and have this, this and that. However, like you, I now feel sorry for them. Yet, I do not know them and I have no right to think that way. When I used to get angry, I think part of my anger was actually jealousy.

Just because I drive a SUV doesn't mean I make a butt-load of money and have nothing better to do with it. Just means I'm a good shopper!

 

[rogsr]

Recognizing someones sins isn't really wrong per se in my opinion. It's like seeing that someone is a nice person. The error comes in throwing it in their face or thinking that you are not a sinner too. For example, they may sin in greed and I may sin in lust. I feel like it is very beneficial to be able to see sins because you will be able to see your own, and work to crush them. If I know that I am prideful and I learn humility then when a friend comes along who is prideful I will be able to lead him or her out of pride. I will have removed the log out of my own eye so that I can take the speck out of their eye.

Thanks for reading

 

[AngelDancer]

[noflame]

 

[Blessed-one]

try to remember every time you see someone driving by in a BMW, that a grain of love should be in everything you do. When love steps in, then this judgemental attitude should go away. I find that helps and also the fact that there's always a side to a story that you don't know about..

now if i'm God, then i'd know everything about that person driving the BMW.. but i'm not..

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

<blockquote><largefont><b><font color="#000088">.:Forum Rule 1:.</font></b></largefont><hr><b>Rule No. 1 - No "Flaming"</b><br><br> <i>1) You will not post any messages that harass, insult, belittle, threaten or flame another member or guest. This will include misquoting another member out of context. You may discuss another member's beliefs but there will be no personal attacks on the member himself or herself. This includes implied accusations that another member is not a Christian.</i> <hr></blockquote>

I don't see this as flaming. This person is entitled to her opinion about people. She stated she was looking for advice. I don't think her intent was to annoy or insult anyone. She was talking about people in general. She didn't point a specific finger at anyone.

Just my two cents.

 

[allieisme]

I don't see this as flaming. This person is entitled to her opinion about people. She stated she was looking for advice. I don't think her intent was to annoy or insult anyone. She was talking about people in general. She didn't point a specific finger at anyone.

Just my two cents.

You should take it up in a PM with Rising Tree if you have questions

 

[Yitzchak]

the bible links not judging with our not wanting to be judged. Part of the problem is when we seperate the two concepts of us receving grace and us giving grace......It also links receiving and giivng in the area of forgiveness.
I read once that christians who have the most difficulty forgiving other, are having the most difficulty forgiving themselves and really receiving God's forgiveness fully for themselves.....
Whether or not these people that you are judging are actually doing something wrong is not as important as the fact that you feel it is wrong. People will do things wroing many times and the way we extend grace is because we have recieved grace ourselves.........
There seems to be a human need to "balance" the scales meaning that if I feel guilty or bad about myself, the temptation is to put someone else down to make myself feel better.... the better solution is for me to recieve God's grace into my heart and the i cna extend it to others........
Grace is a package deal and judgement is a package deal. matthew 18 has the parable of the great debtor and teachs us that we either receive the grace package or the justice/judgement package.........
I think your answer lies not in your seeing their axctions as commendable or pleasing to you..... Rather it lies in your extending grace and allowing God to deal with their issues........

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

You should take it up in a PM with Rising Tree if you have questions

Ohhhh, I see what happened. (*airhead moment*) I was wondering where that post went.

 

[Skrock77]

Ummm. yea, I wasn't trying to insult anyone. You see, I have a problem with something and all I'm asking for is advice.....the end.

 

[mindlight]

Ummm. yea, I wasn't trying to insult anyone. You see, I have a problem with something and all I'm asking for is advice.....the end.

Resentment might be as bad as vain pride on occasions and in the end comes from the same bitter root. Ask yourself would you accept a BMW or SUV if someone just gave you one freely. If you would then maybe your just jealous about something you do not have youself.

the principle I want to follow is as Jesus said- to do unto others as you would have done unto you. Treat others as you think Jesus would treat them. As it happens he did not like money changers in the temple nor the strutting Pharisees in their long flowing robes but he was merciful to prostitutes and offered mercy to the rich young man also.

I accused someone falsely last week and considered my anger towards them a matter of righteous anger cause of what i thought they had done. Then I found out some extra information which tore my assumptions to shreds and I had to go up to that person and apologise for saying things about them which were not true. The lesson I learnt from that is that I need to check out my facts before I explode at people. My error also misled others and I had to make sure that these other people also knew I was in the wrong before I could consider my conscience cleared. I think that making a mess like that makes a person more careful next time. When one understands that one is accountable for ones words then they come out more considered the next time round.

 

[AngelDancer]

Skrock77

I wanted to send you a private message to make sure that you got this but I am in the process of unregistering so I hope that someone will let you know that this is here.

Caelda was right when she said that I was not specifically talking to anyone in particular, just voicing an opinion, however, because you started the thread it would have looked like I was saying something directly to you.

I want to appologise for hurting you in front of your 'friends'. I have no excuse.

 

[TheMainException]

You aren't entirally wrong. But you are suffering from a little thing that I like to call Humanoidism. You are a human! It's what we are good at, judging. But that's why God came for a little visit when he did. You've got to spend some time in prayer if you want to become an unearthly being. You don't belong here and you sure don't want to fit it. The people of this world are pretty mindless beings who like to hurt. That's not us, we are going somewhere amazing, so have hope and pray for a better, more holy mind.