Why Did She Let It Happen?

[Katie12]

How come when he was mean,rude,abusive she just sat thier?She watched TV,went to cook,went to bed,went for a walk or drive,or turned away,how come?She never protected her kids like she should of,she let them get caught in the hands of faith.Did she think we deserved this?Did we?I mean where was she when her babies cried?Where was she when we were alone with him?Why would she?Thats what gets me,i could never let my kids get hurt,i would really die for them,and she just sat thier.How come?


Blessed be all,
Katie

 

[Yasha]

I just want you to know that I have been in prayer for you all day. If the Lord lays it on my heart to write more I will. But, for now, my heart is endlessly on it's knees before the throne of grace within, on your behalf.

The only thing that comes to mind is....do you go to counseling or have any good companionship with a friend that you share these feelings with? These are BIG questions and concerns. I have these questions, too, as you probably saw in the "What about the parent who WASNT abusive?" Did you read that post? They are best faced in company; in the support of a genuinely loving and patient person?

Pokin' my hands in the air for you, sweet girl. May He bless You with the answers and comfort that He is so famous for, for His glory. May He prepare your heart, mind and spirit to receive the counsel that you need and hold you close as He also sends good counsel to your call. amen.

 

[beetlequeendiva]

Katie, remember that you never deserved anything that happened to you and it's natural to ask questions - I have done the same thing, asked questions about why my mum didn't stop it and sometimes it's hard but we can't always get the answers we want. Keep on praying about this, you deserve a life free from pain and God can bring you to that!!!

 

[reeann]

you never deserved to be abused. keep searching, keep sharing, and let God help you deal with the rainbow of emotions you feel regarding this.

 

[Yasha]

you never deserved to be abused. keep searching, keep sharing, and let God help you deal with the rainbow of emotions you feel regarding this.

Gawd! I love that. That is exactly the thing....begin to accept the whole rainbow! Rainbows have infinite colors as they blend into each other....excellent.

Do keep sharing, please. We care.

 

[luv4godremains]

try to remember that she may have been scared too! she should have done something, and nothing can excuse it, but God has a plan for it all too! hang in there and keep lifting your eyes to God! HE is the perfect father, no matter how hard it is to believe!

 

[marli]

I talked to my mother one time, and actually asked her why she was so weak. I asked her why she didn't stand up for herself -- why she was so passive. She explained that she was tired of fighting. If not for me, my parents would have separated long ago, but she had wanted to create a good environment for me to grow up in.

The thing is, my father knew that hurting me hurt my mother more than anything else. When she was around, it was worse than if I were alone, and if my mother tried to stand up for me, I'd get hurt worse. So when he got violent, she left to protect me.

 

[Daisysqueaks]

My mom did that to me too. I think part of it is denial. It's hard to believe that the man you love is hurting your children/his children. I'm not excusing it. Just trying to understand and help you understand as well. I have had a hard time forgiving her for not helping me. I mean that's what mothers are for right? Atleast we have a Lord that will NEVER leave us or forsake us!!

1 I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.


2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand. 3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.

 

[Yasha]

The thing is, my father knew that hurting me hurt my mother more than anything else. When she was around, it was worse than if I were alone, and if my mother tried to stand up for me, I'd get hurt worse. So when he got violent, she left to protect me.

Marli, I applaud your courage to bring this out in conversation with your Mom. My husband hasn't really done that with his Mom, that I know of. I surely haven't asked her, but ALWAYS have wanted to. I am afraid that if she makes any excuses at all, I will have a hard time controlling my temper. I WANT her to confess that what she did was selfishly motivated in SOME aspect. Then I could forgive her, I think. Until then, I forgive her, as an ignorant one, not as a repentant one. To me there is a subtle difference there. I can't help but forgive someone's ignorance, but I am eager to forgive someone who sees their wrong in new light through repentance; lining up with God's view and turning toward Him for forgiveness.

However, I did find it interesting that your Mother perceived that she was helping you by leaving the situation. That is one I have never heard and sounds so odd to me, that I really do believe she couldn't really make such a thing up. I am no one to sit in judgement of her motives or any other's. I find it truly sad still, that you went through this and this was the best action she could bring herself to....again, knowing that abuser's partners are themselves, not well. Within the fabric of this very explanation lies her own testimony to her husband's contempt for her. So, in conclusion, if you are forgiving her, and you two have peace on this, that is well enough, I suppose. I don't know.....