Why can't I just relax?

[Ben Collyer]

There a girl who I have feelings for and she for me but neither of us think its the right time for us so we said we will give it to God and continue to be friends and see what happens

but i can't stop obsessing and ruminating about the relationship! it really really stresses me out not knowing where we stand with each other. I'm actually quite content being single at this time in my life im only 26. half of me wants to settle with her and the other half wants to be single. and being on a knife edge about it is really stressing me out and im exhausted from thinking about it. I can't fully focus on God whilst this dilemma is tormenting my mind. so I feel like my only option is to either commit or tell her we will remain friends forever. to put my heart and mind at ease. maybe someone can offer me some perspective and wisdom on this

 

[cfyahoo08]

Should talk to HER about it and not a bunch of strangers online. I once heard someone say, how do you know if you found the right one, and they said, because they like you back. I think the answer is more complicated than that, however is at least a good starting point, if you have lots of common interests, have the same morals and enjoy one another's company there is not much more to ask than that.

 

[Southernscotty]

I would say ask God first and foremost and at 26 years old, I wouldn't stress out friend. You have plenty of time Good willing :]
Maybe you should ponder if she is "really" what you want? But remember, No one is perfect and you cannot compare her to anyone else because she is special in her own way :]

 

[Ben Collyer]

I would say ask God first and foremost and at 26 years old, I wouldn't stress out friend. You have plenty of time Good willing :]
Maybe you should ponder if she is "really" what you want? But remember, No one is perfect and you cannot compare her to anyone else because she is special in her own way :]

I have asked him and I didn't recieve a specific answer. so im left to work my own life out

 

[Southernscotty]

I have asked him and I didn't recieve a specific answer. so im left to work my own life out

NO, You ask, And He is answering in His time :]

 

[vinsight4u]

/nvm

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

A sheep in the field or elsewhere is at peace as long as the sheep can hear the shepherd's voice, even if not in sight.

When a sheep hears the shepherd's voice, the sheep follows.

Other voices, the sheep won't listen to.

 

[Ben Collyer]

What would you be thinking if next week you found out that she is seeing a guy? You missed your opportunity?
What could have been? You should ask her to go a ballgame or a concert, something you both enjoy. If she declines your offer, then you have your answer. She is not truly interested -or having the same type of feelings in your friendship that you are. If you date, then you can find out more likes and dislikes as to each other. What if she asked you to go to an amusement park with her? Would you say yes? Spend some time...on the phone...going places in town...to really see if you want to commit - to a relationship long into the future with her.

If she was seeing a guy I would be relieved that the decision about us has already been made and I can stop obsessing about it...we have been close friends for a year, I already know I enjoy her company

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

If she was seeing a guy I would be relieved that the decision about us has already been made and I can stop obsessing about it...we have been close friends for a year, I already know I enjoy her company

I think the command in Scripture is to treat her like a sister and not like a girl-friend (the way the world does).

Consider a lifetime of righteous life for everyone in Christ, including you and her, without any gambling on sin. (i.e. don't make any allowance for the flesh to even think about sin.

 

[Kevin Snow]

Hey man, it's understandable your vexation. If you have everything ready in your life then why wouldn't it be the next step to get a wife?

Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house. ~Proverbs 24:27

I would get solid in my career and in my finances. But after you have this going there's no reason you shouldn't pursue a relationship with her.

Set a goal for yourself to reach before you pursue her. Then pursue her.

 

[Ben Collyer]

Hey man, it's understandable your vexation. If you have everything ready in your life then why wouldn't it be the next step to get a wife?

Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house. ~Proverbs 24:27

I would get solid in my career and in my finances. But after you have this going there's no reason you shouldn't pursue a relationship with her.

Set a goal for yourself to reach before you pursue her. Then pursue her.

I dunno man I just HATE the fact that everything is up in the air, I want to know if she is my God ordained wife or not, I want to have certainty now

 

[yeshuaslavejeff]

I dunno man I just HATE the fact that everything is up in the air, I want to know if she is my God ordained wife or not, I want to have certainty now

No worries. You can be sure she is not, now.

 

[Kevin Snow]

I dunno man I just HATE the fact that everything is up in the air, I want to know if she is my God ordained wife or not, I want to have certainty now

Ok, you want to inquire of the Lord. Why don't you inquire of the Lord? Do you remember how David used the ephod to inquire of God? Do you understand how to use the word of God as the ephod?

Now many people will wail at me for saying this to you but I have done this countless times and with faith. I have always received an answer and yes he can answer you with "NO I'm not telling you"

But you need to have faith. Ask God from your heart what it is that is on your mind and submit to his will. Then randomly flip the bible open and begin reading making no choice. According to the word you receive you should do. God may say anything. He may tell you to focus on your work. And that is your answer. Whatever word you receive, meditate on it and give it up to God. Generally the first thing you think of when reading the word is the answer that God is giving you.

Now you can also get a random bible verse generator. But it has to be truly random. Many random bible verse generators don't give you verses from every single verse in the bible. But I have one by Steven Markford that is truly random. But maybe there are more online.

The principle of this inquiry is based in scripture itself. For it says:

The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from Yahweh. ~Proverbs 16:33

You can cast lots to inquire of the Lord but the principle is the same. Randomness is under the control of God