why am i like this

[god4ever]

please why am i like this? i felt ok for about 2 days then today it was like i wanted to think theese thoughts. why? can somebody please explain this to me. why does my mind want to start thinking this stuff. and i hate myself for letting this happen to me. i should be able to not allow this to happen. but it's like i want to think like this and then when i do i feel so bad and mad at myself. someone please explain
god4ever

 

[picassoui]

please why am i like this? i felt ok for about 2 days then today it was like i wanted to think theese thoughts. why? can somebody please explain this to me. why does my mind want to start thinking this stuff. and i hate myself for letting this happen to me. i should be able to not allow this to happen. but it's like i want to think like this and then when i do i feel so bad and mad at myself. someone please explain
god4ever

if i could explain it would be a millionaire i think the question is do you want to do this that is in youre heart do you take pleasure in them if you dont then they are NOT from youre heart ..

 

[Jayangel81]

please why am i like this?

Because you are sick there is no other reason. But God let it continue for a reason. You can persevere out of this, trust in God and keep fighting.

i felt ok for about 2 days then today it was like i wanted to think theese thoughts. why? can somebody please explain this to me.

I used to be on cycles, I would obsess/compulse/blaspheme for a few days on a certain subject. than I had rest than it would start on a whole new subject. It happened that way for about 3 years id say. God gave me some rest in between. Which I am thankful for.

Dont confuse yourself with thoughts "you wanted to think" to having a complete urge to say. Two different things and with your feelings being so off its hard to tell the difference. My mind didnt wanna stop thinking of blasphemies, doesnt mean in my heart I wanted them.. And God knows this. Alot of people are scared that God will punish them for it (im not sure if you think that too) but in truth they need to trust in Him.

why does my mind want to start thinking this stuff. and i hate myself for letting this happen to me.

'

At times our mind dwells on things we hate. in alot of cases OCD is revolved around things we love the most. In our case alot of christians get it alot about God. alot of us still fear Him and it conflicts with our illness.

Dont hate yourself, you didnt let this happen to you. You never did anything wrong

What makes you even think you could cause this upon yourself? we cant control when or how we get sick. Dont be so hard on yourself.

i should be able to not allow this to happen. but it's like i want to think like this and then when i do i feel so bad and mad at myself. someone please explain

I used to get mad, I kept telling God that I should be able to control what goes in and out of my head. But we dont have control over it do we? not with what we have. You will gain some control. Hang in there.

Again dont confuse what you want in your head to what your head urges you to think. you cant control it. If you really wanted it, would you really be here? I dont think so It is the fact that you are here, tells me and God (He already knew) that you hate this stuff.

I used to have mental images of killing my family, some of those what thought of seemed to be urges. I felt the same way as you did. I really thought I wanted to hurt my family because I was having thoughts about it. This went on for at least a year...but that wasnt the case. I loved my family so much that in truth I didnt want to see them get hurt. My OCD twisted it around on me because In my heart I truely cared for them. Same thing with my blasphemies toward God. Do you understand what im saying?

If you believe you really think this is you or that you want it, I guarentee your anxiety is going to fly up and it will get worse, I know I let it get worse for me. It traumatized me.


Im sorry your going through this, I really am. Hang in there

Never forget that God loves you reguardless of your thoughts, and He is just a whisper away