Whose House Is It?

[blythe_ann]

Who decorates, who cleans, who keeps the bill paid? Does your spouse, or do you, jokingly call it the other's house?

I decorated our house and continue to do so. I love that sort of thing. I love painting, moving furniture, making rooms look wonderful. I'm not girly or frilly with it, I'm pretty modern. Clean lines, accent walls, brighter and warmer colors, each room to it's purpose.
I also clean. That's never been a debate around here. I'm the faster and better cleaner, as well as the one who has the time to do it. I don't mean that as a negative towards my husband in anyway. He helps when he can and he does a marvelous job. But, I'm the one that does it primarily.
I also pay the bill, but with his income.


Just curious because I heard the joke between a couple yesterday that went something like "I don't care what color you paint that room, it's your house."

Better add that I'm not saying that cleaning, decorating and paying the bill makes the house yours. I know whoevers name is on the deed and whatnot. And I also know that most couples, like us, would probably consider the house "ours" not a "his" or "hers". So please, don't act like I'm trying to do something I'm not, k?

 

[Lilymay]

My husband washes and dries all the clothes, I fold and put them away. Husband does the majority of the cooking and I will admit that I wished he also cleaned up the kitchen after himself because he makes a royal mess... I do the rest of the cleaning. I do all the regular and seasonal decorating, I pay the bills. If something needs fixed around the house, I fix it.

The house?... It is my husband's house as in only his name is on the deed... but it is our home... that 's the way I look at it

 

[c1ners]

I do the cooking and the cleaning. My husband does the yard work and the big repairs. I pay all the utitlity bills and he's supposed to make the mortgage payment. I do the decorating. According to him it's "his" house.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Mike's name is on the deed, mine is not, and he makes the payments. This doesn't make it any less "my" house too, though. His will states it's mine if he goes. The reason we are not both on the deed is that I had no credit history at all, while his was acceptable, and a home loan could only be approved if we took me off the application.

I do as much housework as I am physically able to do, but he does a lot of the cooking (because he enjoys it) and much of the laundry and vacuuming which I cannot do. Often he forgets to vacuum, though. It's not "on his radar." This is a problem because we have three cats. Recently we have made a deal with my daughter, to whom we are selling the house we're moving out of, that we will reduce her monthly payment (but still credit her with the full amount) if she will come over to vacuum our house once a week.

He leaves decor up to me, but I ask for his input. We have similar tastes, thank God. We both like it plain and simple, and we tend to go for blues and greens against a neutral background. Our new house is very beige, and that's the way we want it. I have no desire to make anything "pop" or have a "wow factor." (Do I watch too much HGTV?)

 

[JaneFW]

Who decorates, who cleans, who keeps the bill paid? Does your spouse, or do you, jokingly call it the other's house?

I decorated our house and continue to do so. I love that sort of thing. I love painting, moving furniture, making rooms look wonderful. I'm not girly or frilly with it, I'm pretty modern. Clean lines, accent walls, brighter and warmer colors, each room to it's purpose.
I also clean. That's never been a debate around here. I'm the faster and better cleaner, as well as the one who has the time to do it. I don't mean that as a negative towards my husband in anyway. He helps when he can and he does a marvelous job. But, I'm the one that does it primarily.
I also pay the bill, but with his income.


Just curious because I heard the joke between a couple yesterday that went something like "I don't care what color you paint that room, it's your house."

Better add that I'm not saying that cleaning, decorating and paying the bill makes the house yours. I know whoevers name is on the deed and whatnot. And I also know that most couples, like us, would probably consider the house "ours" not a "his" or "hers". So please, don't act like I'm trying to do something I'm not, k?

I pay the bills from joint income. The boys and I clean the house. My h helps sometimes. I actually need to get someone in to do a deep clean because it's not up to my standards, and I just don't have the time and energy to get it to my standards. We bought our home new in 2003, so it had all white walls. We did paint the guest bathroom at one point, but my husband hates to paint, so in 2006 we had a team come in and paint our house, top to bottom. My husband chose almost all the colors. All that I asked for was a pale green color in the master bathroom and light yellow kitchen, and they are my favorite rooms in the house. The rest of it is variations on brown, and blues. My h likes to call things "his". "My" house, "my" cars etc. I think of it as "ours".

 

[blythe_ann]

Thanks for the responses.

My husband jokingly says it's my house sometimes, since everything has it's place and I'm the one that assigned that place! But i make sure it doesn't look too girly for him, lol.

 

[hijklmnop]

We decorate the house together...I pay the bills from our combined incomes...I do *most* of the cooking and baking but he does his part when I'm working evenings....and we both contribute to cleaning the house. He's better at staying on top of keeping things tidy and organized...I do most of the laundry and I clean the bathroom...we both take care of the floors and the dishes. I work less hours outside of the home than him so I don't mind handling a bit more of the housework than him.

 

[dallasapple]

I pay the bills from his income from "his" business which doesnt exist unless I do the work to drum up "his" business.Since he can earn quite a bit of money with "his busines" without putting in many hours that leaves him at home a lot breathing down my neck.Since he doesnt like to "idle' he then obsesses on the house(in his undewear) which he seems to think is "his' until I pull out the mortgage loan papers which clearly shows me as 1 of the 2 people on the loan with my maiden name and social security # and signature dated 1987.

So in summation ...he 'thinks " its his business..which wouldnt be in existence without me(litterally would have never been 'founded" in 1999 it was my idea..my money..my "solution" to his chronic unemployment ) and he "thinks" its his house which again would not have been purchased 1/2 by him in 1987 when I was 19 and he was 21 without my cash and without my "nerve" to believe it was possible to buy a HOUSE at that age ..His parents "laughed" and said my mother(who told me we could do it) was insane and they were betting we wouldnt make the first house payment..(still here never missed one payemnt in 24 years in Novemeber)..

So I try to "ingore" the intense feeling of antagonizing that he "thinks" hes a self made man and that this is "his house".

If I didnt have the cancelled checks..the Charles Schwab transfers ..and living witnesses he might be able to convince even me that he is the "owner" of his business and this house.He is that delusional.

Dallas

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Dallas, that sounds like my grandparents. For years they ran a business together, side by side, doing an equal amount of work at it. And he never could understand why she objected to the fact that their phone book ads and the sign out front said only "Ray S---, owner" and didn't mention her, even after he retired, and she completely took over running it.

 

[JRSut1000]

"My house, your home". -My husband