Who's place is it?

[bluedragonfly73]

Me and my ex have officially been divorced for six months now...And he is now getting married to someone he met about six months ago...Funny how that works....anyways...He has yet to explain anything to our daughter... She as of now thinks daddy and Mrs. whats her face are gonna live in serparte places after they get married....She found out by accident that he was getting married he wasnt even going to tell her till the day arrived...I confronted him that she knew and she said he had a little talk with her but didnt explain anything.... Should I do it...Is it my place or should he be the one since he is the one getting married..... I don't know all the details of there marriage .....

 

[searle29678]

If he isn't, then you probably should. I don't know how you should bring it up or when, but she needs to know and understand what is going on now rather than waiting until after the marriage and having her resenting him.

 

[heartnsoul]

Being totally honest with your daughter is very important. It doesn't matter whether it's your husband that tells her or if *you* tell her.

I'm sorry to hear your ex is remarrying someone else. Don't lose faith. God loves you and has a plan for you and your daughter. When one door closes, another one always opens. I will pray for you and your daughter. God bless.

 

[Lambert]

You are beautiful dragonfly. Wonder what caused your man to stray... Anyways your daughter must told by whomeve will tell her.

 

[bliz]

Your husband should have told her, but it is far more important that she be told then who tells her.

 

[Yitzchak]

You should talk to her about it. Just make sure you don't do it in a way that is critical of your ex.

 

[Living Soul Dance]

Me and my ex have officially been divorced for six months now...And he is now getting married to someone he met about six months ago...Funny how that works....anyways...He has yet to explain anything to our daughter... She as of now thinks daddy and Mrs. whats her face are gonna live in serparte places after they get married....She found out by accident that he was getting married he wasnt even going to tell her till the day arrived...I confronted him that she knew and she said he had a little talk with her but didnt explain anything.... Should I do it...Is it my place or should he be the one since he is the one getting married..... I don't know all the details of there marriage .....

I believe that a child's relationship with a father is extremely important and should never be distroyed.

Please, never put your ex-husband down in front of your daughter. This will damage her view of men and damage her future relationships with men.

Let your husband explain to your daughter what happen. And don't call him a liar or an adultess in front of your daughter or any other human being. Forgive him and let the Lord heal your heart. Your daughter is going to need her father. Don't harm their relationship!

God Bless,
Minister Richelle

 

[Avaya]

If her daddy hasn't told her, then you should go ahead and tell her - ONLY what you KNOW. For instance, "Yes, daddy and 'fiance' are getting married." "No, I doubt they'll live apart. Unless there is a job location issue, they will probably live together like most married couples." "Are they going to have more children? Honey, I don't know, that's something you will have to ask them." "No, you do not have to call her mommy, but you do have to respect and obey her." And ONLY if your daughter brings this up herself , "I realize that you might not like visiting with daddy now that there are new rules, but you have to anyway. That is your family too and they deserve to know and love you just like I do."

 

[Wakeup2god]

You need to tell your daughter that they're getting married if he won't. Unfortunately it's so common these days that it won't be as big a deal as it once would have, although yes it is a big deal to you and your daughter.

You need to explain that things didn't work out between the two of you but you wish him and his future wife well. Bless them even if you find it hard.

 

[bliz]

I believe that a child's relationship with a father is extremely important and should never be distroyed.

Please, never put your ex-husband down in front of your daughter. This will damage her view of men and damage her future relationships with men.

Let your husband explain to your daughter what happen. And don't call him a liar or an adultess in front of your daughter or any other human being. Forgive him and let the Lord heal your heart. Your daughter is going to need her father. Don't harm their relationship!

God Bless,
Minister Richelle

Is there something in the OP that makes you fear she will trash her ex to her child or use words like "liar" or "adulterer"? I didn't pick up on that... so I find your tone a little over-the-top. The advice is sound, but you make it sound as if she has already broken these rules.

And while we're at it - the mother child relationship is also very important and should never be destroyed. Her relationship with her mother has a lot to do with how she will view herself. Her duaghter is going to need her mother.

The father should have been more forthcoming, and now Mom is left to try and fix things so daughter understands and does not get her heart broken or does not get upset. It really isn't fair that Mom should have to pick up the pieces from the ball he dropped. But she's going to do it becasue she loves her daughter.