Which person *am* I?

Lady Bug said:

Hi, I'm just perplexed about how I come across in real life to some people. It was the final day of one of my formation courses, and there are people who have commented how funny I am and they have laughed vivaciously at the things I said from time to time, and I made a joke in front of all the parishioners who attended that really cracked them up and the priest seemed to get a kick out of it too. They don't know the misery and emptiness I feel, the ideation, the things I feel about/against myself, yet I have the ability to make others smile and laugh and they would never know. How the heck am I supposed to know what is the real me? People at my table were really wanting to see me come to more things with them. From one extreme to the next, I am lonely, yet I may not be able to keep up with people asking me to attend things. The kind of effect that I described that I had on people tonight is not the first time, at all.

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Lady Bug said:

Yup, the fact that I already knew this before making this post, makes me perplexed that this applies to me, too.

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mourningdove~ said:

I'm not going to attempt to analyze your situation, but I will share that thru the years I've heard numerous successful comedians talk about this very same thing ... how they can make us all laugh ... and be the funniest person in the room ... but inside they are feeling the things that you've described. IRL, they personally deal with depression, loneliness, etc.

(Some that easily come to mind are former Saturday Nite Live cast members.)

I don't know what it all means, but I share this just to say that I don't think your experience is unique to just you.

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