Where do I go from here...

That is tough brother. Temptation is everywhere these days. Its a wonder more men don't fall. If you can get over it without telling her that would probably be best for everyone. I'm not a fan of telling lies but sometimes honesty can be brutal.

Well, I have never been in your shoes before but I have been in the opposite shoes about 12 years ago. It was eating my wife alive like a cancer. I'm happy that she told me because everyday that she would have been silent (to me) would have been another day that she was unfaithful to me by keeping it from me. I honestly don't know how anyone could look at their spouse, tell them that they love them and keep silent of a betrayal -- leading them on to think everything is just fine. I think if my wife had not told me it would have been out of selfish reasons because she was afraid I'd leave. It would be like hitting a parked car and driving off hoping nobody saw it. (only worse) I would think that this would erode away the conscience. Obviously my advice is to tell her as soon as possible. For her sake and respect to her. Expect that things will be pretty terrible for a while but as soon as she realizes that you told her because you love her and it was for her sake, she will know you are a repentant broken man. Everyone makes mistakes in life (not all the same ones) it does not matter what happened yesterday, it only matters what you will do right now.

God bless,

-Pepper

Luke 8:17 states "For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open." You and your wife are one, this is not something you can keep secret from her. She will find out and it would be best for her to find out the truth from you. Plus you won't be able to get past the betrayal. I'm sure you are ashamed, full of guilt, and scared. However, when we have made a mistake/sinned the only way to correct it is to repent to God and ask for forgiveness. We also have to be willing to face the consequences of own our mistakes. Part of this process is to trust that God has forgiven us of our sins and will guide us, give us wisdom, and show us mercy through whatever consequences we may face. When we make a mistake, the outcome may not always be what we want and unfortunately that is the chance we take when we commit a sin. By no means am I trying to be hard on you. My heart goes out to you. I have been in a situation like this, and my family was restored. There were a lot of hurt feelings, a long separation, lack of trust, anger, bitterness, etc. It took my family a lot of years and a lot prayer to get us back together. However, God softened the hearts of all that were involved and restored my family and I pray the same for you. "Dear Heavenly Father, In the name of Jesus, I pray that you will give this gentleman direction on what he should do. Give him the courage he needs to face his situation and the wisdom and guidance he will need in order to keep his family together. Softened and comfort all the hearts of the people who are involved. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken, and with this being said, Lord I trust that you are still in the midst of this marriage and are able and willing to restore this family. Please help this gentleman receive your forgiveness and help him forgive himself. We all fall down because we are human, but you are a God of restoration and second chances, may you make your presence known to him and lift him back up. In Jesus' name, Amen!

SouthernBlessedOne said:

Thanks to everyone for your words and prayers. I really need them. I am so broken and sorry for what i've done. I just pray that God will forgive me first, cause without Him I know I won't be able to make it through this. I have always been the "good guy" type, never cheated or even thought I would. It's like a nightmare that I wish I'd wake up from. Thanks again.

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Brother, the Lord has forgiven you before you even asked. When Jesus was in the midst of being crucified, he said "Father forgive them..." however did any of them accept His forgiveness and repent at that point? If you are truly repentant and sorry (which it sounds to me like you are) then there is no need to worry if Christ has forgiven you. However, understand that the consequences of sin is what punishes us. Similar to the laws of gravity. If you jump from a tall building will God call His angels to break your legs before you hit the ground to punish you? We reap what we sow. However God does have the power to turn things around. Look at the sins of Joseph's brothers and how the effects were terrible, but God turned things around after the fact. This is what you should pray for, that God please turn things around for the better. However, you must be patient through the terrible effects from the sin. Don't lose hope, God will always prevail but we must be patient.

God bless

-Pepper

What's done is done. What matters now is what you do next. I agree with pepper, I think you should tell her, and if she is willing the two of you should seek marriage counciling, perhaps your church offers that service? Ultimately it is up to you, I hope you make a decision that you can live with. Best of luck. My heart goes out to you, your wife and your family.

Wives have a way of knowing, maybe not the details, but that that the sacredness of their marriage has been compromised. It is best to have a heart to heart with your wife. My hubby needed it, and I offered a moment that "nothing you say will be held against you" and in the moment he confessed. He was glad to get it off his chest and I for the opportunity to forgive him. Then I kept my part by never holding it against him.