When someone suddenly wants nothing to do with you...

[Lady Bug]

and they won't say why...

I'm still trying to come to terms with this. I'm not sure if it will ever stop hurting me for a long time. Once in awhile I tell myself, that I have recovered from this type of thing once and it was living hell...at times I tell myself that I don't have much of a choice but to keep doing my daily routine because that person seems to not be coming back, but it is still feeling very empty.

 

[loved33]

It is a very bad pain when people suddenly disappear for a long time and if you ask them is everything ok between us..they may say 'fine' but you can see they are not, but wont face what they are feeling.....they may say 'fine' and they are...they're just in a new phase of life which has now taken a lot of their time.....or they may not answer at all.

If you sense that they are hiding behind a wall of 'fine' or if they just stop all of a sudden, and its prolonged....you are feeling ignored.

its so painful because you have loved them and it seemed they loved you too, or you wouldnt have been in the the friendship.

i hear your pain.



there is another way to look at it though.



if you are so wanting to relate and love....and they don't...then they are now grown into a position of not being good provision for you.

you may have actually outgrown this person.

it happens sometimes.

we all grow, we dont always grow in the same direction.

its hard.

it would be made a lot easier if when people grow...they were to respect the person who has been their friend and have a chat and be honest about where they are at.

its still painful to say ' i need to go separate ways'....but at least it doesn't leave the friend in torture wondering if they'' ll be back.





you also have to be careful of 'abandoners'.

i mean serial abandoners.

some people , sadly, due to their own low self esteem , consciously or unconsciously , attach to friends, but deep down are always going to disappear.

and it is the disappearing with no contact, out of the blue, that is typical of someone who is an abandon er.

sad to say....they get a twisted sense of power , to be the one to leave, not being 'the left' . by casting you in that role, helpless and upset, they don't have to feel their own helplessness and sadnesses within themselves...so they play out this 'drama' to enable them to stay in denial.

they keep running from their deep issues.

as i say, if you have found yourself with a serial abandoner.....its nothing actually to do with you...its about them....not wanting to get to the bottom of their own issues but instead to keep running and taking any type of power they can get, to keep running.


i dont know about your situation.

maybe your friend is just not skillful in moving on in a healthy way,she isn't skilled to act in a way which still leaves respect and honour in tact.



with every death comes a resurrection..

i know you are hurting....but God will put another's hand in yours, that will be true provision of a friend for you, for this time of your life.

someone that feeds and enriches you.

feel your feelings but be careful not to get caught in obsessional painful hankering.....look to the resurrection of the new ,as well as feel your feelings......


God is your source.



this old friend was provision for a time.

there is a new provision on its way.


sending you a big hug for your hurting heart right now....it is very painful and you have such a tender heart.

be kind to yourself honey

xxxxx