When someone keeps bringing it up all the time....

[PixieSunbelle]

Awhile ago while depressed, I ended up cheating on my boyfriend and between us we had fixed stuff up as much as possible. While he will never trust me with said friend.... we are fine.
He admitted to cheating on me... so, I don't know we just work thats all...

Said friend (we will call him D) had kept trying to get me to come over again and constantly wants to see me... he even keeps telling me he loves me even after telling him I do not feel the same and I am with my boyfriend. This contributes to my boyfriend's discomfort even more....

However, before this all happened- my bestfriend (we will call her A) was dating D. But this was a long time ago and A has a boyfriend now...

This stresses me and my boyfriend out because she constantly makes this problem about her when the two of us want to forget it ever happened and move on. She goes to D's house and talks about what happened and he construes what happened in ways that make me look like its my fault only...

so in return, A goes to my boyfriend and tells him.... and he gets * off at her all the time...

We just want this thing ended and I don't know what to do to make it be the end of it. Like I said, me and boyfriend ended it in our minds but those two keep bringing it up constantly and creating more drama....

I don't know what to do, i already cut off D, and the worst part is that he doesn't even know or seem to care. I thought that D cared about me all these years and he has helped me alot.... my bf thinks it's just cos he wanted me...

 

[Malachi425]

Drama, drama, drama...honestly, i would just ignore D and forget about him. Obviously he sounds like a jerk. And if you don't do anything with/about D, A can't say anything. Hopefully it will just all roll over. It's good that you and your bf have forgotten about the whole thing. That's what's important. If A is truly a good friend to you, she will let it go.

 

[PixieSunbelle]

Drama, drama, drama...honestly, i would just ignore D and forget about him. Obviously he sounds like a jerk. And if you don't do anything with/about D, A can't say anything. Hopefully it will just all roll over. It's good that you and your bf have forgotten about the whole thing. That's what's important. If A is truly a good friend to you, she will let it go.

Well, that's the thing- i already cut off D even before I decided to do that considering we haven't talked in so long... she just keeps bringing up all the things that happened and all that with him...
She was all mad when i said i didn't want the four of us to get together and talk it out.... there's nothing to talk about anymore and i really don't want a huge fight happening. So, i have no idea what to do from here.... right before Christmas she brought up crap again that he was saying about me (if it was even him saying it).
It doesn't really have to do with me cutting him off.... she can talk about the past forever... she doesn't get it at all, and even why so much i want it all forgotten. It's much much worse that just me cheating and more things surround it and she makes it all about herself.
Basically, this was my darkest time.... and it's why I cheated. However, that info, i don't want out... especially since she reacted this way to what i did with D. I mean, she knows i was upset and all that.... but she doesn't know I was contemplating suicide then and i'm surprised D kept that secret...

 

[buddy_holly]

This does seem fairly over-dramatic. If A Is such a great friend, I am not sure wht she would paint you in such a bad light.

At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter though. just keep that in mind. Stop worrying about D and A; they will only continue to bring you and your bf down, to a point where you and him won't work out. Sometimes you just have to let people go until they can get over it. That stuff is wasted energy that can be put to better constructive things.

In the end, if A cares enough about her relationship with you, she will stop. If she doesn't, maybe it says something of her personality.

And D? Unless you want to pursue friendship right now (I don't know why you would atm), don't talk to him until he has something else that can occupy his mind.

 

[PixieSunbelle]

This does seem fairly over-dramatic. If A Is such a great friend, I am not sure wht she would paint you in such a bad light.

At the end of the day, it really doesn't matter though. just keep that in mind. Stop worrying about D and A; they will only continue to bring you and your bf down, to a point where you and him won't work out. Sometimes you just have to let people go until they can get over it. That stuff is wasted energy that can be put to better constructive things.

In the end, if A cares enough about her relationship with you, she will stop. If she doesn't, maybe it says something of her personality.

And D? Unless you want to pursue friendship right now (I don't know why you would atm), don't talk to him until he has something else that can occupy his mind.

I think A believes things that D tells her and so she runs to my bf with it instead of me... which is frustrating because she doesn't have a reason to not believe him. I'm really trying to let D go, but it's hard... he's not answering his phone, so i guess he doesn't care. My bf didn't like before all this started anyways, and another friend didn't like him either.
I agree, it IS overly dramatic and I know that it is. But, i mean how am i supposed to ignore someone bringing up my darkest times? They are just being stupid about it and won't let things pass and heal like they need to.

 

[buddy_holly]

I think A believes things that D tells her and so she runs to my bf with it instead of me... which is frustrating because she doesn't have a reason to not believe him. I'm really trying to let D go, but it's hard... he's not answering his phone, so i guess he doesn't care. My bf didn't like before all this started anyways, and another friend didn't like him either.
I agree, it IS overly dramatic and I know that it is. But, i mean how am i supposed to ignore someone bringing up my darkest times? They are just being stupid about it and won't let things pass and heal like they need to.

Yeah, I guess at the end of it all, if these people want to re-hash all of this stuff, they don't seem like the type of people that a person would want to be close to.

You just have to ask yourself what's more important, these people, who seem not to have much respect for you, or your bf. Even if it is a difficult decision, it is a no-brainer.