- Jan 27, 2006
- 10,720
- 4,179
- 60
- Faith
- Lutheran
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Libertarian
My grandmother has died. It's been less than 24 hours, but within the week or two the doctor said was most likely when she fell ill. We couldn't be there nor can be make it in time for the funeral this weekend.
Don't get me wrong, she was 3 months shy of 102 years old and the whole family seemed to be begging God to put an end to her sad existence sooner rather than later. Her dementia and physical decline had been hard to witness over the last 6 years or so, but it's still difficult to accept she's gone. It's even more so as we had hoped to be there this month, but it seems God wanted something different.
We have had an offer on our house since October, but because the buyers' solicitor wasn't in a hurry and questioned things that weren't legally relevant, we are only now packing to move next week to close at the end of the month. For various reasons, we repeatedly stated our desire to close before Christmas and were told it would be no problem. These things work so differently here that this is not out of the ordinary, so no one could understand our rush.
While we had been excited and happily preparing to get out of here and back to the US, one of my main motivations for speed no longer exists. Had we closed as originally agreed or had things dragged on for another few weeks, we could have been there to say goodbye.
I know I shouldn't be angry, but I am, and I think I'm going to be sad for even longer because I can't see her one more time. Even worse, my daughter has to deal with the death of a grandparent for the first time in her life and I'm not there.
Sorry to ramble, but I don't just understand why things like this are necessary and how they can possibly serve Gods purpose. I have a hard enough time with meanness and suffering anyway that trying to make sense of what can't be coincidence is almost impossible.
I keep telling myself that maybe there's a lesson in all this that I'll appreciate in time, but right now, all I can realize is pain. Almost instinctively, my mind reflects on Jesus' reaction to Lazarus' death and that even He wasn't spared the pain of losing someone He shared time with in this world.
Any thoughts?
P.S. Some here have shared lovely words of support and that does help. That means more than I can express and I thank you.
Don't get me wrong, she was 3 months shy of 102 years old and the whole family seemed to be begging God to put an end to her sad existence sooner rather than later. Her dementia and physical decline had been hard to witness over the last 6 years or so, but it's still difficult to accept she's gone. It's even more so as we had hoped to be there this month, but it seems God wanted something different.
We have had an offer on our house since October, but because the buyers' solicitor wasn't in a hurry and questioned things that weren't legally relevant, we are only now packing to move next week to close at the end of the month. For various reasons, we repeatedly stated our desire to close before Christmas and were told it would be no problem. These things work so differently here that this is not out of the ordinary, so no one could understand our rush.
While we had been excited and happily preparing to get out of here and back to the US, one of my main motivations for speed no longer exists. Had we closed as originally agreed or had things dragged on for another few weeks, we could have been there to say goodbye.
I know I shouldn't be angry, but I am, and I think I'm going to be sad for even longer because I can't see her one more time. Even worse, my daughter has to deal with the death of a grandparent for the first time in her life and I'm not there.
Sorry to ramble, but I don't just understand why things like this are necessary and how they can possibly serve Gods purpose. I have a hard enough time with meanness and suffering anyway that trying to make sense of what can't be coincidence is almost impossible.
I keep telling myself that maybe there's a lesson in all this that I'll appreciate in time, but right now, all I can realize is pain. Almost instinctively, my mind reflects on Jesus' reaction to Lazarus' death and that even He wasn't spared the pain of losing someone He shared time with in this world.
Any thoughts?
P.S. Some here have shared lovely words of support and that does help. That means more than I can express and I thank you.