When facebook is a total disadvantage

PreachersWife2004 · Mar 25, 2013

I just had four of my facebook friends delete me. Well, not "just" but it was within the last week. They were also coworkers of mine, and I just happen to be their department supervisor. Two of them were goofing off, which I generally don't really care about as long as they're still getting their work done, but then one of them climbed into our racking near all the paint cans and the other one snapped a picture. So...yeah, that I might get a little upset with, but I'd just chalk it up to them being stupid and just talk to them about it. It was all cool.

Until it got posted on Facebook. And then I got tagged to the photo. And then one of our Asset Protection people saw it.

So I had to report it. And now these two are being formally investigated by the corporate office. And the one who took the picture thinks I was totally wrong for saying anything, even though she realizes that if I hadn't, and our AP guy said something to corporate, I could've gotten fired on the spot.

I told her I respected the fact that she deleted me from facebook. What I don't appreciate is the fact that she didn't have the guts to tell me she was doing. I totally would've been on board and understanding. It was never an issue that I was their supervisor until this little incident, but she's making it out like I was the one in the wrong not only for saying something about it, but for still being friends with her on facebook.

The other two friends just got caught up in the moment and deleted me. Meh. That I don't really care about. Less clutter for my feed.

cerette · Mar 25, 2013

FB is awful. I'm not and will not be on there. I use it for church but that's it. I have also told all my friends and family not to ever mention my full name on there and to never ever post any photos of me and/or my immediate family.

How immature and high-schooly to delete you just because something happened at work.

QuiltAngel · Mar 25, 2013

It is frustrating when people know the rules yet still blame others for their bad decision.

My brother unfriended me over politics. Pretty sad that politics is more important than family. Thing is, he won't even discuss the issues we seem to have.

Tangible · Mar 25, 2013

Thanks for reminding me why I deactivated my FB account.

PreachersWife2004 · Mar 25, 2013

I love my Facebook because I do keep in touch with a lot of my family.

The hard part is that one of them was a good friend of mine and me being her supervisor was never an issue.

Losing a friendship that way is difficult. I cherish all my friends no matter where I met them and whatnot. Know what I mean?

QuiltAngel · Mar 26, 2013

I am like PW, if I did not have facebook, I have friends and family all over the world and it is a great way to keep in touch. I do have a few people where I hide them from my newsfeed for various reasons.

alexnbethmom · Mar 26, 2013

QuiltAngel said:
I am like PW, if I did not have facebook, I have friends and family all over the world and it is a great way to keep in touch. I do have a few people where I hide them from my newsfeed for various reasons.

i am quite literally on the other side of the country from my family, and i don't have a whole lot of friends here (yet) - if i didn't have facebook to keep in touch with my family and my friends from california and colorado, i would probably go bonkers. and i do have a couple people that i hide from my newsfeed as well, for various reasons. i have had a couple members of my family, and some "friends" unfriend me because of politics (and, in essence, my faith), and while i was hurt initially by it, i'm ok with it now.

PW, you absolutely did the right thing, and what transpired as a result of doing the right thing is just childishness on their part.....

Luther073082 · Mar 26, 2013

Facebook has good things and it has bad. It's great to keep track of family and friends and know what's going on in their lives. And it's an easy way to talk to someone you might not otherwise talk to.

I might not otherwise call many of my cousins, but we can still communicate on FB. And I think that's great.

The biggest problem that I've noticed as quilt angel has pointed out is that people un-friend each other over something like politics.

Which quite frankly I think says more about a problem with our attitudes then a problem with FB itself.

I mean shoot, any time a guy who is president or owns a company makes a political comment, there is quickly some movement to boycott his company. Is he not allowed to have political opinions which are different from your own?

What would happen to our economy if we only did business with people who's politics matched our own??

cerette · Mar 26, 2013

*deleted post*, wasn't worth posting!

PreachersWife2004 · Mar 26, 2013

cerette said:
*deleted post*, wasn't worth posting!

Now ya done got me curious!!

cerette · Mar 26, 2013

PreachersWife2004 said:
Now ya done got me curious!!

You of all people should be!
I was actually saying that after having read this thread I of course had to look you up on FB and spent last night looking at your photos. Nice Christmas tree & cute kids
This is why I hate FB...anyone can find anyone. I doubt you had me in mind when you uploaded your pics, yet I know your son fell asleep on the loo and boy did I laugh at that pic! Reason I deleted that post I didn't want to make you paranoid and scared. My point is that it's just so easy for strangers to find out all kinds of things about you when you're on FB and especially when everyone is allowed to look at your pics etc.

neen1 · Mar 27, 2013

I was just having this conversation with friends on FB the other day! One had gone to message someone and they weren't on his friends list anymore and he had no idea why! I did have happen to me where my sister was unfriended and I didn't do and she didn't do it. Just plain weird! I also have several people whose stuff I don't have show up on my news feed.

I check my privacy settings at least once a month, so hopefully, no one can look at my stuff unless they are my friend.

PreachersWife2004 · Mar 27, 2013

cerette said:
You of all people should be!
I was actually saying that after having read this thread I of course had to look you up on FB and spent last night looking at your photos. Nice Christmas tree & cute kids
This is why I hate FB...anyone can find anyone. I doubt you had me in mind when you uploaded your pics, yet I know your son fell asleep on the loo and boy did I laugh at that pic! Reason I deleted that post I didn't want to make you paranoid and scared. My point is that it's just so easy for strangers to find out all kinds of things about you when you're on FB and especially when everyone is allowed to look at your pics etc.

I have my profile set to public on purpose! I wouldn't have minded at all! I tell people that they have the ultimate control of what people see so they're the ones who make it easy.

Currently I'm set to only friends on my Facebook but that was because I was testing something and forgot to switch it back.

cerette · Mar 27, 2013

PreachersWife2004 said:
I have my profile set to public on purpose! I wouldn't have minded at all! I tell people that they have the ultimate control of what people see so they're the ones who make it easy.

Currently I'm set to only friends on my Facebook but that was because I was testing something and forgot to switch it back.

Well that's good then..

But as far as I am concerned I would not be comfortable knowing that strangers can look at pics of me and my family and know all kinds of things about me..

alexnbethmom · Mar 27, 2013

cerette said:
Well that's good then..

But as far as I am concerned I would not be comfortable knowing that strangers can look at pics of me and my family and know all kinds of things about me..

so you set your security so that strangers can't.

i have mine set so that absolutely nobody but friends can see my stuff, and in fact i don't think anybody can even search my name to put in a friend request for me. if you don't know someone who is a friend of mine already, then i would be the one to have to put in a friend request for you.

cerette · Mar 27, 2013

alexnbethmom said:
so you set your security so that strangers can't.

i have mine set so that absolutely nobody but friends can see my stuff, and in fact i don't think anybody can even search my name to put in a friend request for me. if you don't know someone who is a friend of mine already, then i would be the one to have to put in a friend request for you.

Yeah...I guess everyone is different when it comes to how much they allow people to see. I am just not comfortable with FB at all.

filosofer · Mar 27, 2013

You might find this link helpful and shutting down various aspects of Facebook:

Controlling Facebook

WildStrawberry · Apr 8, 2013

PW, I'm sorry that hijinks became escalated so that you had to report misdoings. It sucks when friends and work spank on each other.

That being said, my rule for everything I put on the internet is: If you don't want it coming back to you in 20 years, don't put it on the 'net, for the internet is forever.

illudium_phosdex · Apr 11, 2013

An example of when Facebook can be a disadvantage happened to me today. One of the main reasons I'm on Facebook in the first place is because I'm in Alaska and the vast majority of my family is in Georgia. While we do talk on the phone and occasionally send cards and letters to each other, it's nice to have that extra connection via Facebook to see what's going on in their daily lives and they can see what's going on in mine.

This morning, however, my brother's step-son posted simply that his mother had tried to kill herself and then apparently logged off without giving any kind of details whatsoever. This is my sister-in-law so I'm, obviously, concerned because until I saw that post I knew nothing and no one had called me. So I called my other sister-in-law who is still in Georgia first and she told me that she'd just seen the same post and had called her husband, my other brother, to see what he knew. Since he isn't on FB, he knew nothing but he had been trying to contact brother 1 all morning with no results.

Anyway, the entire family is worried sick and there's no news for several hours. Just so you know, I finally got a call from brother 2 who'd talked to brother 1 and SIL is now in the hospital in serious condition. She'd taken an overdose of pain killers and sleeping pills and they'd already had several hours to get into her system so we're just waiting and praying at this point. But the thing is, my family does this kind of thing all the time and it just makes me feel so helpless that I'm 4k miles away and all I can do is pray.

PreachersWife2004 · Apr 11, 2013

illudium_phosdex said:
An example of when Facebook can be a disadvantage happened to me today. One of the main reasons I'm on Facebook in the first place is because I'm in Alaska and the vast majority of my family is in Georgia. While we do talk on the phone and occasionally send cards and letters to each other, it's nice to have that extra connection via Facebook to see what's going on in their daily lives and they can see what's going on in mine.

This morning, however, my brother's step-son posted simply that his mother had tried to kill herself and then apparently logged off without giving any kind of details whatsoever. This is my sister-in-law so I'm, obviously, concerned because until I saw that post I knew nothing and no one had called me. So I called my other sister-in-law who is still in Georgia first and she told me that she'd just seen the same post and had called her husband, my other brother, to see what he knew. Since he isn't on FB, he knew nothing but he had been trying to contact brother 1 all morning with no results.

Anyway, the entire family is worried sick and there's no news for several hours. Just so you know, I finally got a call from brother 2 who'd talked to brother 1 and SIL is now in the hospital in serious condition. She'd taken an overdose of pain killers and sleeping pills and they'd already had several hours to get into her system so we're just waiting and praying at this point. But the thing is, my family does this kind of thing all the time and it just makes me feel so helpless that I'm 4k miles away and all I can do is pray.

Praying is GOOD, though.

I try not to post serious stuff unless I've talked to other family members first, so they're not getting the news from someone else. Of course, the most serious thing I've had to post about lately is my middle toddler being sick and having surgery, but the whole family knew about that.

When facebook is a total disadvantage

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