What's the Logic here...

[yeshuaskid]

I have a daughter who is just a little over one year old. She isn't the problem. My problem is my one sister-in-laws kids. I love them dearly but, there are some issues here that our whole family is concerned with. We just don't know how to approach the situation. My neice is a beautiful thirteen year old in the eighth grade. Last year, her (teacher) mother was ordered to court because my neice kept staying home from school. My neice has been told she has a learning disability but, her mother won't tell her what it is. Now, my neice is starting to act age-appropriate and has become cocky and started fibbing. She is supposed to read over the summer and then give a report the first week of school. Guess what? Not only did she not read ( her mom read some to her) but her mom rented the movies for her, instead. Her mothers reward for all of this behavior? A cell phone. My nephew is seventeen and graduating this year. He misses school a lot, too. He has good grades but, refuses to go to community college. He has decided to go to a very expensive college in Florida and expects his mother to foot the bill. He really emotionally hurts my neice and threatens to hit her when she uses the computer. When corrected by his mother, he tells her what he is going to do. His reward for all of this? A flat-screen television for his room. See where I'm going with all this? I wish I could! I guess this is more of a rant. I took the kids skiing this past winter and they promised to go to school the next day. My nephew had exams. Big surprise here...!!! They didn't go! Their mom did nothing about it! This was the last straw for us! Now, when the kids want to come down...there are rules we created. If they miss school for any reason, except a field trip, they can't come down. If their grades aren't good, they can't come down. Now, they pretty-much just don't want to come down. I wish there was more we could do.

 

[andiesmama]

wow, I don't have any great advice except what I'm sure you've already done...pray for the kids & their mom! Are the boy's grades even good enough to get into that college in FL? I mean, if you could talk to them, maybe you could use that as an example. But I know kids that age just don't want to hear it!! Maybe someone outside the family (youth counselor, pastor, etc) would have more luck? Or get someone really successful in the community (mayor, businessman/woman, etc) that went to school & college to talk to them about it? Just some ideas off the top of my head....good luck!!

 

[yeshuaskid]

wow, I don't have any great advice except what I'm sure you've already done...pray for the kids & their mom! Are the boy's grades even good enough to get into that college in FL?

His grades are good enough but, it's a money thing. His mom wants him to go to community college and then transfer but, he won't budge on it. His parents are divorced and his dad doesn't seem real supportive. His mom will probably try and get him in but, at a sacrifice to my neice. To top it off, they don't really understand God.

 

[bliz]

It's pretty clear that this family is a mess....

But unless someone comes to you seeking advice, there is really nothing that you can do beyond continuing to pray for them.

 

[EmSchmem]

To top it off, they don't really understand God.

Then this is the issue. None of that stuff, if changed, will really change their lives. They must understand God. Take those problems away and they still have sinful lives and are headed toward and eternity of separation, lonliness, and exile from God.

 

[yeshuaskid]

It's pretty clear that this family is a mess....

But unless someone comes to you seeking advice, there is really nothing that you can do beyond continuing to pray for them.

It's sad that this is really all that I can do. I know it and it's so frustrating. Sometimes, I just want to wring my sisters neck and get her to wake up! I know that prayer is stronger than that but, it's still hard. Please, keep praying and thanks to all.

 

[HeatherJay]

No one likes to be told how to parent their own children. Be an example with your actions and words. If she wants advice, she'll ask. I'd be careful about stepping too far into the situation until then.

 

[yeshuaskid]

No one likes to be told how to parent their own children. Be an example with your actions and words. If she wants advice, she'll ask. I'd be careful about stepping too far into the situation until then.

She's my sister-in-law so, I can't really get too involved, anyway. The whole family worries about it and talks to each other but, nobody ever really confronts her.