What to do?

[Gods4me]

Hey

right i have a little boy called james and his dad promosde to always be there for us both. he then broke up with me because i had PND which he couldnt handle me being so moody all the time. he saw james once or twice but not regular and not for about a year and a half now(maybe more). james goes to davids mums house evry week and she keeps him for a day. david is never usually in but if he ever is he does not take much to do with james.

so i was a single mum untill kevin came along (which was a year and half ago) and james started to call kevin dad (we didnt encourage him to say it he just started callin him it) so now me and kevin are married and i changed james name to the same second name as me and kevin. ( it was before davids second name.

ok well kevin wants to offically adoped james.

has any one been in the same shoes?

would i have to get david to sign away parental responcablitlys.

Im unsure of what to do as david gives mantance money and me and kev dont make alot so that money comes in handy. so would we have to give that up?

and kevin really wants to be james Dad not just by name.

i want kev to addoped james but i still want the money from david. i dont know if i can have it both ways can i?

any advice any one.

 

[Linnis]

You might be able to get him to sign away his parental rights - that would release him from his obligation for child support. He could also stick his feet into the ground and drag things out for months or more if he chooses.

I do believe it's all or nothing and part of adopting a child is being able to support said child. I think wanting David's money but not be his legal father and Kevin to be is like having your cake and eating it to. I mean how would it seem from David's end -yeah I don't want you to be his Dad anymore but I still want your money.- I doubt he'd go for it.

So it comes down to tough choices - what's better for your son, Kevin(I'm assuming your husband) to be his Dad and be out the money or keep things the way they are.

 

[Leanna]

would i have to get david to sign away parental responcablitlys.

yes although the court can decide by default in some instances, you need to talk to a lawyer

Im unsure of what to do as david gives mantance money and me and kev dont make alot so that money comes in handy. so would we have to give that up?

yes

 

[JulySheMustFly]

The bio father would have to reliquish parental rights which would also mean you'd have to find that income somewhere else.