What to do when you can't do the obvious?

[memoriesbymichelle]

What to do when you can't do the obvious?

My kids were both gone this weekend for most of the weekend. While it was nice not having to cater to my younger son, and it was just me and the dogs, I started feeling depressed and lonely. It's like I got a glimpse of how it will be when the boys leave home.

So the obvious thing to do would be to change that by going to more meet ups or getting involved in some group. Even though I might like to do that, I don't manage to do it most of the time. I have good intentions and I do not want to ever join a group because I am trying to "meet" someone. I would join only if it were interesting to me, but most of the time I have a hard time committing. My second job schedule is very sporadic and sometimes I have a hard time just scheduling dinner with my gf because of it, so I could not commit to a specific day of the week and a date is even hard because I won't know if I will have to work or not. And I could overcome that if I tried hard at it, but I'm tired. I have been beat down with the past few trials and the false accusations here I just need rest but my desire is to have a more enriching life than I currently have.

 

[dayhiker]

Michelle ... HUGZ

The nice things about meetup is you just go when the meetup is serving you. You don't owe the meetup anything. Also there are other ladies at meetups that don't have friends in their life. So don't be afraid to see meetups as a way to get a couple of new female friends. Meetups can lead to BF/GF relationships but many aren't there for that, they are there because they like the event, say a trivia night. If a guy asks for a date, just say I'm hear for the trivia. go with your own agenda and give to others your friendship and accept theirs ... no need to add some imaginary agenda of others as a reason not to go.
I think that is pretty close to what I look for when I get out to meetups.

 

[blackribbon]

I am in the same boat. I graduate in 16 days. I have about a month of solid studying for our licensing exam with a few of my school friends but then, our lives will most likely go very different ways since our goal hospitals and our homes are fairly far apart.

My kids have become very independent from me while I have been in school (necessarily) and I had to drop all the groups I used to volunteer with...and somehow, the draw back to them isn't the same anymore. Maybe it is just because I am so tired...but maybe that just means God is sending me in a new direction.

I will say that the "after graduation" life looks rather scary and lonely...not completely unlike the time after my husband died. I am not sure how I will address the lonely times but I see the shadows up ahead.

 

[dayhiker]

I have been thru those transition in life where the new place had almost no one that I knew from before. I went to 4 different high schools. Then there was my time in the Marine Corps where 5 different times I was stationed where I didn't know anyone. Then I went to two colleges where I didn't know anyone and I've moved one to a knew place where I didn't know anyone.
So I have done that change 10 times in my life. It has given and it has taken away. With FB no move now will be as completely away from friends as those moves. Being the optimist that I am came to look at them as a new adventure, new people to meet and new places to get to know. But when people talk about this is my friend from the 1st grade ... I don't remember a single person's name from the 1st grade. Tho I have a picture of the pretty blond with curly hair still in my mind.
So sad to leave but a new life will no doubt being meaningful. But of course you wouldn't see that till a while after you get there, black.

 

[dayhiker]

Oh the tired part ... I hope you get some time to rest at some point.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

I feel like the tortoise in the tortoise and the hare. S-l-o-w-l-y I go, s-l-o-w-l-y I churn and i will eventrually get there. And the little train I think I can I think I can....LOL.
I have really been trying to be different. Even with silly little things like what color blouse should I buy. That might sound ridiculous but I go for what I know and I don't need all the things that a lot of women "need". I don't need new clothes and just recently (which added to my sadness) saw a picture at my SIL'S house and I had on the exact same outfit (at least the top and jewelry) from a few years ago! I have a hard time even getting rid of clothes that don't fit anymore because I always think "what if I lose weight? then I can wear that again!"
I practically had to force myself to sign up for the last volunteer event I did at work and I wanted to cancel at the last minute because they scheduled me to work that night too but I didn't I trooped it out and I'm glad I did. It didn't feel like necessary volunteer work though. We made little hair pieces for a ballet performance and steamed some dresses. But my goal is to volunteer at least every other month this year.
I've also done some spring cleaning, but I have ALOT to do and it's quite overwhelming.