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what the heck am i supposed to do!?!?!?

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Aleksandros

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A few suggestions:

For the spiritual side of things - are you in a state of full surrender? That is, have you given yourself fully to God? I even today had a time where I was going contrary to God concerning something, and I found myself stuck in a situation where even in the midst of prayer, I was getting angry.

I empathise with you about the anger. It's something I'm very prone to when not walking in the Spirit.

Secondly, you may wish to try calming your body. Your spiritual state will be incredibly difficult to manage if your body is out of tune - try some herbal remedies to get your body on your side. Look up, "natural remedies for depression" or other searches on Google.

Alternatively, if you are able, try this site: Depression - Scientific Review on Usage, Dosage, Side Effects

Try stuff that calms you down, as that is what fights anger best.

Do look into whether this is a period of chastisement - ask the Lord to show you anything you are doing, or have done, that displeased Him.
 
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Handmaid for Jesus

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May I suggest a couple of things?
1. Decide that the word of God does not lie.
2. Decide that you will believe and receive the truths written in the Word of God.
3. Read 1 John, believe it and meditate on it
4. Apply it to your situation.

Let me know how that works for you.
 
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1watchman

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Handmaid gave sound advice, friend. Please do not EVER fight against God --blaming Him. It appears you need medication to reduce the severity of your illness, so see a Internal Medicine physician soon and be open and honest with him ---they are good at physical diagnosis. Then the rest will be attitudinal, so get close to God.

Read God's Word and see the primary message in John 1; John 3; John 14 that God wants you to see. That is a good beginning, and remember that blessings of God is ALL about a personal and sincere relationship with Him. God is good to all, so trust Him and be humble and devotional in communion with Him.

Please do all that I have counseled here. I will be praying for you. It sounds also like Satan is attacking you directly ---physical and mentally.
 
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