Hi,
Right now I'm 33 and single. I have a girl friend (Ashley) that I've known for 16 years but there were 4 years we didn't talk because of a relationship I was in. That relationship with the other girl ended about 3 years ago. After it ended I started hanging out with Ashley again. A few months after my breakup I asked her out and she said yes at first. After thinking about it, I decided then wasn't the best time and she agreed. So we just remained friends for a while and I never asked her about dating again. This past March/April, she decided to move about 8 hours away from here to look for another job. She was frustrated with her previous job and just wanted a change and felt God was calling her to move. Well she ended up finding one but it didn't work out, but she still was glad she went and learned some new things. So she ended up moving back here and found another job.
So, she came back and we started hanging out again. During the span of a couple of months I started gaining an interest in her again but wanted to make sure I was really ready to ask her to start dating again. So, back in the beginning of August I told her what I thought of her: that she is a godly woman, that she is really beautiful, she makes me laugh, and that I just enjoy being around her and doing things with her since we have the same interests. She told me she wasn't really sure if God was calling her to date or remain single and couldn't really give me an answer since she didn't know but that she would think and pray about it. She said she enjoyed being around me too and that it was nothing against me. So I told her I would give her some time.
I wasn't sure how much time to give her but I asked again about it after a couple of months. She said she really hadn't had much time to think about it (her work schedule is pretty demanding). I told her that was fine and just figured we would still be friends for now. It seems to be getting tougher. I think singleness is a good thing for now because I can devote my time more fully to God (studying his Word, helping out at church, teaching Sunday school to teens). At the same time too I have a desire to get married. The problem with Ashley and I's friendship is we go out and do things like a couple. We'll have dinner together, go to football games, travel to places, etc. It was probably my mistake to allow some of that stuff to happen. We usually hang out once or twice a week (weekends mostly because of her work schedule).
I think this week I saw that things were probably not gonna work out anytime soon. She worked two 12-hour days in a row and got off work at 11pm. I picked her up both days and she was exhausted. Most nights she gets off work by 9:30 which doesn't leave a lot of time. I work the 8-5 job.
I guess my question is what do I do in a situation like this? Do I need to just temper my expectations for now and remain good friends with her? I don't wannna hope that something works out eventually, but who knows maybe it will. I don't want to focus all of my energy on her when she doesn't even know if she wants to date. At the same time I don't want to cut her out of my life completely in the event that something works out down the road. And my friendship with her is really solid. We both know each other well and make each other laugh...and we really enjoy the times we have together. I think it's natural that when you become friends with a woman and spend time with her that you eventually become attracted to her. This girl is genuine, wants God's will for her life and is always reading the scriptures to apply it to her life.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? My gut feeling tells me to continue with the way things are but not get my hopes up. And if a woman comes along later that I'm interested in then I would have a choice to make. I'm very patient, but at the same time I have an interest in getting married. I'm not desperate to the point where I'll look anywhere for a girlfriend, but I do want to follow God's timing and what He wants me to do.
Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
-mr.
Right now I'm 33 and single. I have a girl friend (Ashley) that I've known for 16 years but there were 4 years we didn't talk because of a relationship I was in. That relationship with the other girl ended about 3 years ago. After it ended I started hanging out with Ashley again. A few months after my breakup I asked her out and she said yes at first. After thinking about it, I decided then wasn't the best time and she agreed. So we just remained friends for a while and I never asked her about dating again. This past March/April, she decided to move about 8 hours away from here to look for another job. She was frustrated with her previous job and just wanted a change and felt God was calling her to move. Well she ended up finding one but it didn't work out, but she still was glad she went and learned some new things. So she ended up moving back here and found another job.
So, she came back and we started hanging out again. During the span of a couple of months I started gaining an interest in her again but wanted to make sure I was really ready to ask her to start dating again. So, back in the beginning of August I told her what I thought of her: that she is a godly woman, that she is really beautiful, she makes me laugh, and that I just enjoy being around her and doing things with her since we have the same interests. She told me she wasn't really sure if God was calling her to date or remain single and couldn't really give me an answer since she didn't know but that she would think and pray about it. She said she enjoyed being around me too and that it was nothing against me. So I told her I would give her some time.
I wasn't sure how much time to give her but I asked again about it after a couple of months. She said she really hadn't had much time to think about it (her work schedule is pretty demanding). I told her that was fine and just figured we would still be friends for now. It seems to be getting tougher. I think singleness is a good thing for now because I can devote my time more fully to God (studying his Word, helping out at church, teaching Sunday school to teens). At the same time too I have a desire to get married. The problem with Ashley and I's friendship is we go out and do things like a couple. We'll have dinner together, go to football games, travel to places, etc. It was probably my mistake to allow some of that stuff to happen. We usually hang out once or twice a week (weekends mostly because of her work schedule).
I think this week I saw that things were probably not gonna work out anytime soon. She worked two 12-hour days in a row and got off work at 11pm. I picked her up both days and she was exhausted. Most nights she gets off work by 9:30 which doesn't leave a lot of time. I work the 8-5 job.
I guess my question is what do I do in a situation like this? Do I need to just temper my expectations for now and remain good friends with her? I don't wannna hope that something works out eventually, but who knows maybe it will. I don't want to focus all of my energy on her when she doesn't even know if she wants to date. At the same time I don't want to cut her out of my life completely in the event that something works out down the road. And my friendship with her is really solid. We both know each other well and make each other laugh...and we really enjoy the times we have together. I think it's natural that when you become friends with a woman and spend time with her that you eventually become attracted to her. This girl is genuine, wants God's will for her life and is always reading the scriptures to apply it to her life.
What would you do if you were in my shoes? My gut feeling tells me to continue with the way things are but not get my hopes up. And if a woman comes along later that I'm interested in then I would have a choice to make. I'm very patient, but at the same time I have an interest in getting married. I'm not desperate to the point where I'll look anywhere for a girlfriend, but I do want to follow God's timing and what He wants me to do.
Any advice is appreciated, thanks.
-mr.
