hello, I have 5 children. Unfortantly I have a trouble some past and was not involved in 3 of their lives until recently. I found out my 15 year old daughter has some disabilities but i would like to become part of her life. Do you have any suggestions to ease the tensions that her disabilities could cause between us?
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
-
CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
what should i do?
- Thread starter jeffisthename
- Start date
sreno7
Well-Known Member
- Nov 11, 2005
- 836
- 42
- 62
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- CA-NDP
I think you have to be more specific. Disabilities can be autism in which case forming a relationship with anyone is difficult. Could be she is in a wheelchair but her cognitive function is fine. She could be developmentally delayed in which case you should find out what level she is functioning at and tailor conversation and interest to that level.
Generally start a relationship with her the way you would anyone else unless you learn otherwise. I dont' understand why her disability would cause tensions between you. If you are a mom and you drank and caused FASD then maybe I could understand, or you dropped her on her head and she has brain damage then sure there would be tension. Otherwise I see no reason why a disability would cause tension.
Generally start a relationship with her the way you would anyone else unless you learn otherwise. I dont' understand why her disability would cause tensions between you. If you are a mom and you drank and caused FASD then maybe I could understand, or you dropped her on her head and she has brain damage then sure there would be tension. Otherwise I see no reason why a disability would cause tension.
Upvote
0
She has some brain damage but at the same time apparently from what i'm told is rather gifted. She was born with several major birth defects. She apparently also has a learning disability which effects social skills and motor skills and is legally blind . In my past I used drugs heavily which may have led to the problems. On top of that I know this is shallow but when she twitches due to her tourrets syndrome it is difficult for me to not freak out a bit.
Upvote
0
sreno7
Well-Known Member
- Nov 11, 2005
- 836
- 42
- 62
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- CA-NDP
I think it is highly unlikely that your drug use earlier in life has caused her difficulties.
How about being up front with her, "I know I haven't been around much but I am trying, please forgive me if I seem uncomfortable or upset.
The face that you want to have a relationship is a good thing and hopefully she believes that and will help you along the way.
How about being up front with her, "I know I haven't been around much but I am trying, please forgive me if I seem uncomfortable or upset.
The face that you want to have a relationship is a good thing and hopefully she believes that and will help you along the way.
Upvote
0
chrislife
OCDS
- Mar 24, 2005
- 1,721
- 149
- 58
- Country
- United States
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Catholic
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Others
Tourettes can be hard to watch at first, but believe me you get used to it pretty quickly. My husband and son have it, and truly once you're used to it, you don't notice it all that much anymore.
Upvote
0
Jeff
that's great you want to build more of a bond...start slowly and dont shower her with gifts or other showy things, or fancy trips, etc. Mostly let her know your sorry about the past, but can only start from here...you'd like to be more of a father to her, and that you hope that's possible over time. let her express any anger, sadness or disappointments from teh past, dont react with anger to these but let her know you can certainly understand where she's coming from, and that you just want to slowly build from here. Go on walks with her, and just let it develop over time, dont try to rush it or push things...as she sees your serious, this needs to take place over time and so she can see you really mean it and are dependable.
that's great you want to build more of a bond...start slowly and dont shower her with gifts or other showy things, or fancy trips, etc. Mostly let her know your sorry about the past, but can only start from here...you'd like to be more of a father to her, and that you hope that's possible over time. let her express any anger, sadness or disappointments from teh past, dont react with anger to these but let her know you can certainly understand where she's coming from, and that you just want to slowly build from here. Go on walks with her, and just let it develop over time, dont try to rush it or push things...as she sees your serious, this needs to take place over time and so she can see you really mean it and are dependable.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
