What should i do?

[teffie]

hi guys...this is something ive been wondering for...many years now...since i was quite young...around...10,11.... but ive never told anyone about before properly...but i think its time to do so.

I think im bisexual. Or maybe gay. i dont know. and i dont understand or know what to do about it. Alot of my friends are "bi"....but...thats mainly just cause they feel like it and want attention. 2 of my friends are going out. when the....4,5 people in my group decided last year they were gay....i flipped out at them and havent forgiven them ever for it. but they never understood, just thought i was overreacting, just being plain stupid, not understanding, not caring. But it was more because i had been struggling with it and....the thought that they would just do something like that...i couldnt take.

I think im bisexual. or a lesbian. Or something. the thing is im totally not close to god anymore. At all. I dont think you could even call me a christian. Okay so im not a christian anymore. So what am i? Ive been out with a few guys...but its like...never being a real relationship i dont think. Its always just more....really close mates going out. Ive never really really like the guys ive gone out with....my last relationship was this year and it was going on four months. And it took me a while to move on, but i always wondered, and still do...why it never felt totally right with those certain guys. Im best mates with two guys, and were really close and honest with each other, especially me and tom. But...we both liked each other at different stages, and each time we got close i would just withdraw...have some feeling of like ...i dont know...disgust? not disgust...but the feeling i wasnt right, the absolute assurance you get when your mind and heart is screaming at you know....and i dont know why. Just...it didnt feel right. And i dont know wether thats just cause hes my best mate...or its something more. What do i do? I dont want to be gay. I have four adults who are gay. Two of them are really close family friends with me. I have no problem whatsoever with gays. But i dont want to be one. I dont want my friends to think ive just fallen in line with them and to attack me cause of what i was telling them. I dont know what to do. I know theres one thing that will tell me for sure wether im gay, bi or just straight, and that if i kiss on of my mates. I know that they wont care, they do it all the time. Its nothing to them, it will be everything to me. But im too scared to do it. what if it is right? what if im more comfortable being with a girl as opposed to a guy? I think i like tom again, but i dont even know. I keep pulling back, even now. i dont know why....and im scared to find out....what if i am gay? Am i going to be sentenced to hell because of how i feel? God knows how i feel....so i dont understand. Would he sentence me to rot in hell...darkness without him...for eternity cause of how he decided i would feel and be at this present time? What should i do!

 

[LoG]

Just a guy's perspective but I think you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. I have a lot of women friends but I am not attracted to them physically even though some are quite good looking. Just because I am not attracted to them doesn't mean that I am gay either. It just means that I haven't met the right girl yet.

Btw, just because one may have a temptation in a certain area doesn't mean they are not christian. It just means they are human. It is what you do with that temptation that makes the difference. The way I read your post is that your thinking is that because you aren't physically attracted to any male friends at the moment, you must therefore be attracted to women and yet you say you aren't, so just wait until the right guy comes along and try not to do anything you may regret later.

My .02

 

[Johnnz]

At 14 many teenagers have not fully integrated their new experiences of being a sexual being into their lives. There can be a lot of loose ends. There are quite a few reasons why there is some same sex attraction in those earlier years.

Don't panic, get into enjoying life and friends of both sexes, develop your interests, abilities etc, just concentrate on being a whole, neat person. Don't accept that you are not fully heterosexual, just that you are learning about sexual issues and have many unanswered questions and conflicting thoughts. Then, see what happens. And of course, you can talk things over with God too.

John
NZ

 

[madison1101]

Johnz is right. You are too young to make such an identity decision. Right now, dating is really not for you, though many of your peers may be dating and more.

Get involved in social things, like clubs at school, church youth groups, scouts, Bible studies and things that are both coed, and just for girls. Enjoy life. Grow in the Lord, and stop sweating over the sexual stuff.

Pray and seek the Lord's will for your life and study your identity in Him. He defines you. Learn in the Psalms what He thinks of you. Read Psalm 139, it is full of great stuff about what He thinks of you.

Hope this helps.

Hugs,
Trish

 

[RaddMadd]

easy. just get close to God. if right now you are gay, bi, whatever, you'll be fine when your close to God.in the scriptures it says being gay is a sin ( Leviticus 12:13 ) im sure someone thats gay will come along and disagree with that. but it says it clearly, in other places to. If God says being gay is a sin, then you know you dont have to be gay. if your gay, then your gay, you can't change it, but Jesus can.so just get close to God, ask Him to fix it, and He will definitely fix it. As for feeling weird around guys, maybe they were separating you from God, maybe you were focusing on them instead of God, could be alot of reasons, but either way get close to Him. God bless-hope this helped

 

[Anti Existance]

I always despised the teachings of Paul, who persecuted Jesus and who gave gay people the feeling they would goto hell if they loved people from the same gender. The correct version is this.

There's a difference between lust and love. You see lusting on a person is wrong, wether you are straight or gay makes no difference ,because you don't love that person, you just want that person for sex.

However if you love that person your relationship is blessed, because God = love. It really doesn't matter if that person is from the same gender, you see 'souls' don't have a gender to begin with, they are neutral and are placed within human bodies, that can be either male or female.

So if you really love a girl go for it.

 

[RaddMadd]

I always despised the teachings of Paul, who persecuted Jesus and who gave gay people the feeling they would goto hell if they loved people from the same gender. The correct version is this.

There's a difference between lust and love. You see lusting on a person is wrong, wether you are straight or gay makes no difference ,because you don't love that person, you just want that person for sex.

However if you love that person your relationship is blessed, because God = love. It really doesn't matter if that person is from the same gender, you see 'souls' don't have a gender to begin with, they are neutral and are placed within human bodies, that can be either male or female.

So if you really love a girl go for it.

i got im scripture reference from Leviticus. and Paul is Christian sent by Jesus Himself, he did persecute Jesus, but now he has repented. i just wish i could at least help one person you know, no one listens. just listen to this, if God says its wrong, then its wrong, and so He does in many places in the Bible. God made things to be a certain way, the way He wanted things to be, we ourselves have no say in what way things should be, only God does, because He's the Creator.If i think that being gay is fine, it doesn't matter, i didn't create everything, it matters only what God thinks. If you want ill explain further about this stuff, but you probably dont want me to. hope i didn't offend you, just trying to help-God bless

 

[RaddMadd]

easy. just get close to God. if right now you are gay, bi, whatever, you'll be fine when your close to God.in the scriptures it says being gay is a sin ( Leviticus 12:13 ) im sure someone thats gay will come along and disagree with that. but it says it clearly, in other places to. If God says being gay is a sin, then you know you dont have to be gay. if your gay, then your gay, you can't change it, but Jesus can.so just get close to God, ask Him to fix it, and He will definitely fix it. As for feeling weird around guys, maybe they were separating you from God, maybe you were focusing on them instead of God, could be alot of reasons, but either way get close to Him. God bless-hope this helped

i think i gave the wrong scripture reference, but its somewhere in leviticus

God bless!!!

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I do not believe man is responsible for the Bible's composition. It might have been men who decided it, but God and the Holy Spirit were certainly directing things. The Bible isn't just a book, but the word of God. Would God not protect it, and keep it holy?

I think you're making a mistake by denying the Bible. You say you don't know God, maybe reading the Bible would bring you closer. And don't doubt God, would he really need to turn good into evil, and evil into good just to show he can? God decides what he does, he isn't limited by what he hasn't done.

Praying for you.

 

[Shane Roach]

It is also flatly against the sites policy to debate whether or not something is a sin on this section of the boards.

Don't feel too bad, I got nailed for doing the exact same thing my first week posting here.

Having said that, since you, teffie, said point blank it is something you wish to struggle against, I will offer my handy catch-all verse regarding temptations.

1 Cor 10:13
13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
KJV

I was 8 when I had my first homoerotic experience, teffie. Human beings experience these things. Neither is it unusual at all for people to have difficulty getting close to memebers of the opposite sex.

Closer to where the rubber meets the road, I have spent a rather inordinate amount of time reading over, talking to people about, and otherwise studying sexual matters. I took sex very seriously and managed to remain pure until I was 25, when unfortunately bitterness about a lot of different things weakened me, and I sinned. The benefit that God has given me though in recovering from sin, failing, recovering again, is experience. I have a wealth of experience with gays, lesbians, bisexuals, bdsm practitioners, and I tell you straight to your face and with as much concern and honesty as I can muster for you, being a total stranger to me -- down that road is nothing but emtiness and the feeding of a hunger that only grows and grows the more you feed it.

You need to get closer to God. You also need to stop, if I may be bold with you for a moment, placing your own opinions over a chosen Apostle of God, Paul, who established churches all over the Meditaranean while you and I sit struggling with sin. It is not our place to judge God's choice of a disciple and a messenger of His word. It is your place to decide a: whether you are interested in God at all, and b: if you are going to take yourself in hand and do what is right. Paul is not a subject for debate here. Paul wrote huge portions of the New Testament and welded together the early church. Paul has demonstrated his reliability in the Faith. You have not. If you want to speak with authority about things to do with Christ and His church, please first learn to hold your own Temple in purity.

1 Cor 3:16-17
16 Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
17 If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
KJV

Search your heart and conscience closely, and ask yourself if you honestly believe that the Holy Spirit which indwells you, if indeed you are a Christian, which you yourself now question, wishes to be made party to bisexual escapades. Be honest with yourself and with me here, please.

It is one thing for non-Christians to clamor against Paul, but if you want the aid of the Holy Spirit and Christ's church in overcoming this temptation, you need to step back and realize that in that society of people Paul is an established and very credible authority. The so called "debate" surrounding Paul is almost entirely outside the believing church's confines. If you want to debate that, there are forums for that here as well, but this is not one of them, okay?

 

[Akathist]

Hod Hat On​

Howdy everyone. This thread has become a bit of a debate about the morality of homosexuality. ​

Now, many of you know that is not allowed in the Recovery area. But for those who do not know, let me explain.​

This rule states that homosexuality can not be endorced in the Recovery and Mental Health Areas:​

3.5 Controversial Topics to Be Discussed Only in Certain Forums

A. You will make posts regarding the following subjects only in Ethics & Morality, Liberal Theology, Christian Philosophy, or any subforums in the Congregation or Recovery* categories:

drug use
gambling
polygamy
extramarital or premarital sexual activity
homosexuality
transsexuality
abortion​

*You will not make posts promoting or endorsing any of these subjects in Recovery forums.​

It is impossible to debate without someone endorcing. Besides, Recovery is not about theological debates. It is not even about ethical debates. That is what we have the congregational areas and the Theology areas as well as places like Ethics and Morality, etc. for.

Recovery is a place to come to get help when you want to change something about yourself or you want to get over something that happened, to "recover". ​

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