Alrighty... I need some advice!
Here is a little background: I was in a relationship (call it dating, courting, whatever you want) with a girl for three years. We started dating right when she started college, and I am two years older than her. We are both Christians (met at a church function actually) and had known each other for three years before we started dating.
We were very close, had a pretty good relationship, and had talked about getting married. We both kept saying that perhaps we started dating too young, as we would have likely gotten married by that point had we met in our mid 20s. I don't think anybody would really have the patience to hear about all of the ups and downs over the three years, so I'll just get to the meat and potatos. Before her last year at college, we started having some rough times. She had told me that there was something going on with her family, and that she wasn't allowed to talk about it. (I have since learned what this was, not from her telling me, but someone else).
At any rate, this thing that her mom was doing, and the fact that she couldn't talk about it to anyone, started causing her problems. Her mom and dad are divorced (mom left dad for the pastor... how's that for messing with your mind?) and she felt that her dad and I were the only ones she could talk to about EVERYTHING. Her mom of course told her that she couldn't tell me or her dad about any of it, which affected both relationships between her and her dad, and me and her. She said that as irrational as it was, she felt like because she couldn't tell me this part of what was going on, that she couldn't tell me much else, and that it somehow eroded trust. And obviously when trust is gone, the relationship pretty much is too. So she broke up with me.
This is about a year ago that she broke up with me, and we have kept in contact over that time. This summer she has been out of state doing some mission work, so I have gotten a few months to myself a bit to sort things out.
This summer I have gone out with a couple different girls on a couple dates. Mostly just one date here, another date there. Nothing serious going on. As I have been hanging out with these other girls, I have been finding myself comparing them to her. I have heard it said before about the sin of compairison, but I can't seem to help thinking about it at least.
At any rate, as I have gotten involved with others, I have felt a little bit of a draw back to her still. There were definitely things that would have to change from where we were when we broke up, before I'd seriously consider getting back into a relationship with her, but I am starting to think about trying to work those out when she comes back.
Throughout this, my attitude has always been that if God wants us to be together, we will. This has helped me a lot thoughout this whole thing.
So... my question for opinions, is whether I should just leave the relationship in the past and move on, or if I should try to get things going again. She has talked before about the idea of getting back together, and I have been the more hesitant one. (I don't like getting dumped, so I wasn't anxious to put myself back in a situation to get dumped again)
Here is a little background: I was in a relationship (call it dating, courting, whatever you want) with a girl for three years. We started dating right when she started college, and I am two years older than her. We are both Christians (met at a church function actually) and had known each other for three years before we started dating.
We were very close, had a pretty good relationship, and had talked about getting married. We both kept saying that perhaps we started dating too young, as we would have likely gotten married by that point had we met in our mid 20s. I don't think anybody would really have the patience to hear about all of the ups and downs over the three years, so I'll just get to the meat and potatos. Before her last year at college, we started having some rough times. She had told me that there was something going on with her family, and that she wasn't allowed to talk about it. (I have since learned what this was, not from her telling me, but someone else).
At any rate, this thing that her mom was doing, and the fact that she couldn't talk about it to anyone, started causing her problems. Her mom and dad are divorced (mom left dad for the pastor... how's that for messing with your mind?) and she felt that her dad and I were the only ones she could talk to about EVERYTHING. Her mom of course told her that she couldn't tell me or her dad about any of it, which affected both relationships between her and her dad, and me and her. She said that as irrational as it was, she felt like because she couldn't tell me this part of what was going on, that she couldn't tell me much else, and that it somehow eroded trust. And obviously when trust is gone, the relationship pretty much is too. So she broke up with me.
This is about a year ago that she broke up with me, and we have kept in contact over that time. This summer she has been out of state doing some mission work, so I have gotten a few months to myself a bit to sort things out.
This summer I have gone out with a couple different girls on a couple dates. Mostly just one date here, another date there. Nothing serious going on. As I have been hanging out with these other girls, I have been finding myself comparing them to her. I have heard it said before about the sin of compairison, but I can't seem to help thinking about it at least.
At any rate, as I have gotten involved with others, I have felt a little bit of a draw back to her still. There were definitely things that would have to change from where we were when we broke up, before I'd seriously consider getting back into a relationship with her, but I am starting to think about trying to work those out when she comes back.
Throughout this, my attitude has always been that if God wants us to be together, we will. This has helped me a lot thoughout this whole thing.
So... my question for opinions, is whether I should just leave the relationship in the past and move on, or if I should try to get things going again. She has talked before about the idea of getting back together, and I have been the more hesitant one. (I don't like getting dumped, so I wasn't anxious to put myself back in a situation to get dumped again)
