I just cannot get videos to play, but I loved these jokes:
"I prefer *not* to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth" (I can relate to that one
).
This is funny because it's wrong. The phrase "think before you speak" really means think through the implications of what you are about to say. Obviously you know what you're going to say. This joke is funny because it takes the phrase literally, rather than how it's meant, and pretends that if you don't heed the advice you will literally be surprised at what came out of your own mouth. It's a wrong interpretation of a saying, being passed off as a normal interpretation, which makes for hilarious possibilities.
"We'll be friends until we're old and senile.....then we'll be NEW friends".
This one is even better. Going senile is sad. The prospect of losing a friend because you simply can't remember them any more is tragic. This joke is funny because it pretends like growing old and senile is perfectly okay, and that if you forget someone, you can just meet them again and form a new friendship that is just as good. Obviously this is not the case, which is why this joke is, indeed, funny.
The dog joke is funny on two levels. First it uses anthropomorphism, which is inherently wrong, because you're endowing an animal with human traits that the animal does not really have, and pretending it does. Second, the dog is suggesting that someone other than himself did something bad, when it was really him (i.e., he's pretending that he didn't poop in the hall, so he has nothing to worry about, which is not the case).