What is right??

[FriendOfGod4]

I really need help with a problem!!!

My boyfriend and I dont no how far you can go...we both know that sex is wrong and we would never do it but how far is wrong...we tried cutting everything out n jus kissing but we keep finding it so hard and not being able 2 do it! these past few days its all i can think about and I need help!!
I have been tlkin with my boyfriend about it but neither of us know what to do!

 

[catofhope]

There is a similar topic thread over in the Women Who Struggle forum: Boyfriends... sigh..

The bottom line is it has to be your own decision as to what your boundaries will be.
If you do too much it leads down a slippery slope.

A relationship should be about getting to know each other...
NOT trying to sexually arouse each other.

Spoken with authority from a virgin.

 

[Wandering Cat Lady]

That's always a question that comes up and I really think you have to determine it between what you find in the Scriptures, the peace that comes, a clear conscience, and of course between yourselves you determine how far is too far. Me personally? I never thought I would be in a relationship where I was hugged and kissed every day because I was taught that all touching before marriage is wrong. But I never wanted to believe that and honestly, if I wasn't hugged and kissed every day I think I would be screaming on the inside to be loved. Not that he doesn't love me, he does, but non-sexual physical touch is part of that. For the most part, we hold hands, hug, he holds me once in a while, and we do fairly quick kisses that would never mean anything sexual, and we leave it at that. We're both virgins and would never have sex before marriage, and we're very clear in our conscience about everything.

God bless and I hope you find the happy medium! Oh by the way, if you use the Scripture in 1 Corinthians 7 (I think it is) where it says it's not good for a man to touch the woman, we have come to the conclusion that it means have sex with a woman. Of course I probably should do my research on that but...randomness

 

[Wandering Cat Lady]

A very quick Strongs research on the word "touch" there means "to fasten oneself to, to attach oneself to" so I don't know, you could go anywhere with that one LOL

 

[rebee]

It is wise to have prayer times together every time you see each other and ask God to be your strength. I am just beginning to overcome in this area, and have posted similar threads to ask what you are asking now. My b/f and I cut out everything...even kissing. only a hug goodbye ...that's all. We don't sit on the same couch when together alone and we have made it a point to pray pray pray...we intend to get married one day and want to preserve all this for marriage (as you do too it sounds like), It can be done. But extreme effort has to be put forth, and eventually it won't seem like that big of a deal...In just a few weeks actually...My b/f and I have been doing this for almost 5 weeks and it is amazing how even my mindset about that kind of stuff has changed!!! Not saying you have to do the same thing, but I hope this helped. I know just how you are feeling. You can/will overcome!

 

[Weasel7711]

It is wise to have prayer times together every time you see each other and ask God to be your strength. I am just beginning to overcome in this area, and have posted similar threads to ask what you are asking now. My b/f and I cut out everything...even kissing. only a hug goodbye ...that's all. We don't sit on the same couch when together alone and we have made it a point to pray pray pray...we intend to get married one day and want to preserve all this for marriage (as you do too it sounds like), It can be done. But extreme effort has to be put forth, and eventually it won't seem like that big of a deal...In just a few weeks actually...My b/f and I have been doing this for almost 5 weeks and it is amazing how even my mindset about that kind of stuff has changed!!! Not saying you have to do the same thing, but I hope this helped. I know just how you are feeling. You can/will overcome!

Funny tangent. My parents would tell me when they were engaged, their biggest times of temptation was when they were praying.

I didnt ask too much beyond that...

 

[Wandering Cat Lady]

Hmm that's interesting. For us, we just hold hands or stay in eachother's arms for prayer and we're totally focused on God and praying, not eachother. Though sometimes my FH will play with my hair or caress me but I think it's because he just has to keep his hands busy, ya know.