What is marriage?

Arnold_Philips · Oct 3, 2003

Legally, marriage is two people getting a license and enjoying some tax breaks. It is a piece of paper as far as the government is concerned. Before God, however, a marriage has other definitions and purposes. The two must love one another and not get divorced. They are to function as one unit with God being the central force of their action. God saw that marriage was good because it produced little images of Him (although it's not necessary, or sometimes possible) and created lifelong companionship. I do think that this definition can apply to couples of same gender since they don't have anything a heterosexual couple doesn't.

Nathan David · Oct 6, 2003

Actually, married people pay higher income taxes than they would if they were single. I don't know of any tax breaks you get by being married.

onionring · Oct 8, 2003

Havoc said:
Are non-Christians not married then?

Not sure why you are asking? This is what you "quoted" me on...

onionring said:
Marriage is a spiritual contract between a man and a woman. A contract mediated by God. And for this reason I do not believe in divorce.

Since I never said anything about "Christians" or "non-Christians" I'm not sure where you are coming from. Let me clarify a few things.

Human's are spiritual beings, and unless otherwise hindered by narrow-focused self-centeredness, normally believe in some spiritual entity greater than themselves. You seem to be implying that "Christians" are the only ones that are enlighten enough to appreciate this. Some people would resent that line of thinking.

Also, I assume that you must mean non-Christians that are already legally married or been through some marriage ceremony? If "marriage" exist without a spiritual contract mediated by God, then it is not a marriage by my definition. You can call it a union, sharing, joining ... whatever. But marriage is defined by its spiritual-contract nature. So lacking that, would be improper to call it as such.

Volos said:
Onionring is incorrect in his assessment for the motivation to seek legal recognition for same gendered marriage. My marriage is legitimate, we are a family, and I need no license to legitimize our relationship. We do however desire the legal, economic and social benefits to having our marriage recognized.

You quoted me ...

onionring said:
I believe that people want to generalize the word marriage to include other concepts (eg. same sex unions) in an attempt to qualify the ideas as legitmate. Not based on the "new" concepts own merits, but on those of the already established definition. So instead of getting a new word...they try and qualify it through misuse of an establish one.

Volos...perhaps you did not know that e.g. means "example" (or perhaps I'm wrong). I was giving an example to a much broader idea. The example was meant to assist you in thinking about what I was saying, not hinder you from understanding. For that I apologize.

Volos said:
... I have been married for seven years, but there is no legal recognition for my marriage. Alex and I were married according to the traditions of his tribe and by the tenants of my religion. It was a joining of not just two people but of our families. It is a marriage with everything except legal recognition by the government.

You say you are married, though not legally recognized. It seems to me that you understand that marriage is a spiritual contract, since you spoke to the fact that your marriage was based on tribal traditions (normally having spiritual grounding) and your "religion". I think you have an excellent point here.

If society recognizes marriage as nothing more than a piece of paper and a legal process, then that's what it will become. A word is just a sound that express an agreed upon concept. People change the meanings of words all the time. It's a social exercise. The thing to remember is that while a word may change its definition, truth remains the same. So we should all seek truth and understanding...and just come to an agreement on the definition of words.

leecappella · Oct 9, 2003

JillLars said:
Interesting answers! Anyone else have anything to add?

me: Yes. When you look up 'marriage' in hebrew and greek, what definition does it give you? Does it tell you who the married parties are (genders) or is that an assumed thing by most?

leecappella · Oct 9, 2003

JillLars said:
Another Question- does a marriage have to be recognized by the entire society (legally or otherwise) to be a marriage?

me: I say no! God and what He says is more important than society. If two people believe they are following their hearts and they have included God in on the scheme of their lives and their consciences are at peace about it, what does it matter what some other human thinks? We are not to live our lives according to the life of someone else. God is the judge. If other humans were to be the ones to judge each of us, then we would be living our lives according to them.

leecappella · Oct 9, 2003

JillLars said:
What is marriage?

Open ended question, all answers acceptable.

me: Marriage is a spiritual union between two individuals to be in that covenantal union for life. It comes in many forms:

1. A male and a female
2. A male and a male
3. A female and a female
4. God (male & female) and a male
5. God (male & female) and a female
6. Jesus (male) and a male
7. Jesus (male) and a female

In all of these cases, when that marital covenant is broken via infidelity, it is considered adultery. Earthly marriages (#'s 1-3), though spiritual as well, are known for physical adultery while spiritual marriages (#4-7) are known for spiritual adultery (ie. idolatry). In both cases, there is a physical and spiritual aspect to the marriage. The earthly marriage is physical due to the physical closeness that occurs (sex) and it is also spiritual due to the spirits of each party committing to the other. The spiritual marriages (#s 4-7) are spiritual for obvious reasons: Our spirit unites with the Spirit of God. The physical aspect is different than the earthly marriage. No physical contact occurs, but our relationship with God affects what we do physically (ie. to sin physically or not to sin physically). It should also be said that when the two in an earthly marriage have physical contact, and not necessarily sex itself, it can be a spiritual thing though happening in a physical manner. Marriage is a union in which two are to grow together spiritually, in good times and bad. It is relying on one another and, ideally, it is always including God the Creator in every aspect of the marriage as the sole foundation of the union.

JillLars · Oct 9, 2003

If other humans were to be the ones do judge each of us, then we would be living our lives according to them.

Unfortunately many Christians expect us to do just that.

newchild01 · Oct 20, 2003

Hi all! I am new here. I have really enjoyed reading these posts. Some very interesting ideas.

I am wondering, If marriage is a spiritual, emotional, and physical joining of two people before God, at what point does it become a "marriage"? Must it be in a formal ceremony? God knows what is in our hearts, so can two people be joined in "marriage" in his eyes without the formality?

Teh Wiccan · Oct 20, 2003

I think Marriage is (or should be) an act of commitment of love between two people. If this should be restricted from someone because of bigotry, it irritates me.

tcampen · Oct 21, 2003

And here's another point...

The concept of marrying for love is relatively new. Throughout history (and in many cultures today), marriages were arranged by the parents without much, if any, say from the bride and groom. Usually the couple would not have picked their spouse if the choice were up to them. It was then expected the two would "grow" to love each other over time.

So, the question is, how could that kind of marriage be sanctioned by God? If either of the two are opposed to marrying the other, does not love the other, and has no desire to be with the other in any way, why would God endorse the creation of such a union in the first place? It is a sin for someone to have sex with another person they have NEVER loved, even though they are married? In fact, until recently, it was legally impossible for a man to rape his wife. But we all know that under arranged marriages, sex without consent happened all the time.

If love is not required for a marriage sanctioned by god, then there's no problem with those who marry only for financial stability, for fame, for citizenship, or a variety of other non-love reasons. I just wonder.

The Fireman · Oct 25, 2003

The word marriage comes from Matrimony. Matrimony is a sacrament of the Catholic Church. This is defined by the Church in a way that leaves out many other forms of unions between people. Neither I or the Church is saying that there doesn't exist a real type of commitment between persons in other types of unions not recognized as the sacrament of Matrimony. Just that it is not Sacramental Matrimony. In conclusion I would say that marriage in it's strictest sense is only between man and woman, monogamous and until death. But I will say that these other forms of unions that exist are not always evil or the opposite of virtuous, they just are not marriage. Something else just not marriage.

leecappella · Oct 27, 2003

The Fireman said:
The word marriage comes from Matrimony. Matrimony is a sacrament of the Catholic Church. This is defined by the Church in a way that leaves out many other forms of unions between people. Neither I or the Church is saying that there doesn't exist a real type of commitment between persons in other types of unions not recognized as the sacrament of Matrimony. Just that it is not Sacramental Matrimony. In conclusion I would say that marriage in it's strictest sense is only between man and woman, monogamous and until death. But I will say that these other forms of unions that exist are not always evil or the opposite of virtuous, they just are not marriage. Something else just not marriage.

me: When you look up marriage in a bible concordance of hebrew/greek, what does it tell you?

feral · Oct 27, 2003

Marriage is the joining together of two who wish to make a permanent committment to one another.

The Fireman · Oct 27, 2003

me: When you look up marriage in a bible concordance of hebrew/greek, what does it tell you?

I have not done that yet. WHY?

leecappella · Oct 28, 2003

The Fireman said:
me: When you look up marriage in a bible concordance of hebrew/greek, what does it tell you?

fireman: I have not done that yet. WHY?

me: Because if we are seeking what the bible says then part of that seeking would, I would think, include defining terms according to the language of the bible and its time, culture, society, etc. It is apparent that in bible times, marriage was only between a male and a female, but as you alluded to in your earlier post, ..."other forms of unions that exist are not always evil or the opposite of virtuous, they just are not marriage. Something else just not marriage." You wouldn't call them marriages, but something else. What? You don't know? When one looks up the definition of marriage as it is defined in hebrew/greek concordances, it is simply nuptials. It does not define itself as nuptials only between a male and a female. It is simply nuptials. It may be assumed by us that nupitials are only between a male and a female, but the definition itself does not limit it exclusively between males and females. There are many forms of marriage, as I have posted earlier:

1. A male and a female
2. A male and a male
3. A female and a female
4. God (male & female) and a male
5. God (male & female) and a female
6. Jesus (male) and a male
7. Jesus (male) and a female

These may have differing aspects to the relationship. Some more physical than others and some not physical at all, but marriages nonetheless.

JillLars · Oct 28, 2003

leecappella, does the bible say anything about how these nuptials are to be carried out? Between two people, in front of a group of people, ect.?

leecappella · Oct 28, 2003

JillLars said:
leecappella, does the bible say anything about how these nuptials are to be carried out? Between two people, in front of a group of people, ect.?

me: You know, I'm not aware of all of the biblical references to how a marriage is carried out. It's likely that they were carried out according to the cultural traditions. If you're asking for informative reasons, great. If you're asking because however they were carried out in scripture you believe they should be carried out in our day and time as well, I'd say great if you believe that, but I don't personally believe that how things were necessarily done in antiquity (ie. ancient times) is how they should also be done in our modern day time. If we did that, women would not likely have a choice as to who they want to marry and slavery would be acceptable, among other things. Then again, like I said, I don't really know why you ask. So sorry if I'm babbling

The Fireman · Oct 28, 2003

Good answer. I really appreciate people who think.

Job24 · Oct 28, 2003

Marriage is a bond between a man and a woman where they share a period of time together until either one dies or either one decides to end the relatioship. At first marriage is from infatuation love where the individual is sexually attracted to that person and then it flows into long lasting love where the man and the woman grow into long lasting love and that is when they have a mutual respect for one another under God and attempt to procreate to enhance there family.

The Fireman · Oct 28, 2003

Let me guess your not married.

What is marriage?

what

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