Well, it all depends on what you mean by love!
There are three words in the NT used for our English word 'love'. English is sometimes a very poor language!
Agape love is used of God's love to men - pure, undemanding, unselfish. It is also used for our love towards God, our love for our enemies. Unfortunately, our love rarely meets God's standards here! There is absolutely no 'self love' involved in agape love.
Philo love is brotherly love, strong affection, the sort we have towards family, and really close friends.
Eros is sexual love, and mainly depends on chemistry between two people.
Married love is probably a mixture of all three, in varying amounts, depending on the time of day, length of the marriage and age of the two people concerned!!!
'Tough love' I think is probably a sort of agape love, mixed with a strong affection.
There is a very interesting intechange of the words for love in John 21:15-17, where Jesus asks Peter if he (Peter) loves him, when they are on the shore, after the resurrection.
The first two times Jesus asks Peter "Do you love me?" he uses agape love. Peter replies "You know that I love you" - philo love. In other words, do you, Peter, love me with a pure love, with no 'self' in it? Peter knows that he has let Jesus down (when Jesus was being tried) and says he has a strong brotherly affection for him.
The third time Jesus asks Peter "Do you love me with a strong brotherly affection?" Peter says "You know that I love you with a deep brotherly affection". And Peter is upset - I think because he knows he let Jesus down, and cannot honestly say now that he loves him with the pure, self-sacrificing love that Jesus asks for.
Of course, Peter is re-instated, and works for Jesus with true agape love. But I think agape love grows as we mature in our Christian faith, it grows deeper and more self-sacrificing. New Christians are bubbling over with love for Jesus, as new lovers are for each other. But just as marriages mature, hopefully, into a deep, lasting love relationship, so does our love for God.