What is going too far physically?

intricatic said:

Physical intimacy isn't the most important part of a romantic relationship; problems that arise with physical intimacy are also the easiest problems to fix, in the long run. I like sherri's advice, personally.

The problem that most couples have that don't abstain is that physical intimacy attains a much higher degree of importance in the relationship than it would be safe to have. The result is that it overshadows everything else and causes people to be much less aware of incompatibilities in other areas.

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KrillBee said:

Whether its self gratification or someone elses gratifaction, it doesnt matter in this case, compatibility is still an issue. If I were to focus on 'gratifying them' then i'd have to know what turned them on, and be 'willing' to do that for them.

I agree that in a perfect loving marriage, we would all do what i partners wanted (providing it didnt mean disrespecting yourself or something). But, unfortauntely things arent like that always.
Sometimes a man might marry a woman, (excuse me if the next part sounds blunt) but all she wants to do is just lay there, or suppose she doesnt agree with anything but intercourse, and only in 1 position, etc.

Worse yet, suppose she for some reason isnt as interested in sex as he is.

when you are married, you are stuck with that, for the rest of your life.
sex is important. if it wasnt, people would not get married but just live together forever instead and keep that promise.
(but of course if they wanted a family, then sex would be necessary)

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KrillBee said:

what if when you actually do get physical with them, you find out you really don't enjoy it? thats what i mean.

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KeriBeri said:

You are so right. I learned that recently. And then when it ends, it hurts so much more.

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KrillBee said:

Whether its self gratification or someone elses gratifaction, it doesnt matter in this case, compatibility is still an issue. If I were to focus on 'gratifying them' then i'd have to know what turned them on, and be 'willing' to do that for them.

I agree that in a perfect loving marriage, we would all do what i partners wanted (providing it didnt mean disrespecting yourself or something). But, unfortauntely things arent like that always.
Sometimes a man might marry a woman, (excuse me if the next part sounds blunt) but all she wants to do is just lay there, or suppose she doesnt agree with anything but intercourse, and only in 1 position, etc.

Click to expand...

Worse yet, suppose she for some reason isnt as interested in sex as he is.

Click to expand...

when you are married, you are stuck with that, for the rest of your life.
sex is important. if it wasnt, people would not get married but just live together forever instead and keep that promise.
(but of course if they wanted a family, then sex would be necessary)

Click to expand...

what if when you actually do get physical with them, you find out you really don't enjoy it? thats what i mean.

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KrillBee said:

what if when you actually do get physical with them, you find out you really don't enjoy it? thats what i mean.

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intricatic said:

Then I'd say that you probably don't love them in a way befitting of a marriage.

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Alenci said:

intricatic, I will not even bother to quote your post, but I agree 110% with absolutely everything you just said.

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