What is adultery?

[Piedpiper123]

We know that Jesus said that to look at someone lustfully was committing adultery 'in their heart' but what is adultery 'in the flesh'? Is it only penetrative sex or is the line crossed earlier? When can a spouse be justified in leaving their partner on the grounds of adultery?

 

[DZoolander]

I would define adultery as any act of intimacy that you commit that you know falls outside of the comfort bounds of your partner.

 

[ContentInHim]

God (Jesus) defined adultery as even thinking about an act of intimacy that falls outside the comfort zone of your partner!

Actually, delete the comfort zone junk - that's relativism slipping in.

Adultery is thinking about anything with another person than with your legal spouse. This includes more than just physical acts. If you get close enough to another person to even have those thoughts, you might have cheated on your spouse.

 

[Piedpiper123]

God (Jesus) defined adultery as even thinking about an act of intimacy that falls outside the comfort zone of your partner!

Actually, delete the comfort zone junk - that's relativism slipping in.

Adultery is thinking about anything with another person than with your legal spouse. This includes more than just physical acts. If you get close enough to another person to even have those thoughts, you might have cheated on your spouse.

I'm not convinced that thoughts of lust are a sufficent reason for divorce.

 

[Piedpiper123]

What set me thinking was that a friend told me last week that even having lunch with someone who is not your wife could be an act of adultery. He went on to say that if you discussed personal things with a woman other than your wife that you could not discuss with your wife then that too was an act of adultery.

In both the above cases while the acts not might be wise I don't think they can count as commiting adultary.

What would be the uncrossable line? Is our partner adulterous if they have lunch with someone of the opposite sex, or if they discuss intimate things, hug, kiss, what?

 

[Chie]

We know that Jesus said that to look at someone lustfully was committing adultery 'in their heart' but what is adultery 'in the flesh'? Is it only penetrative sex or is the line crossed earlier? When can a spouse be justified in leaving their partner on the grounds of adultery?

Just as there is physical adultery there is emotional as well. Jesus spoke on this in the book of Matthew .
There is more than just the aspect of a sexual encounter when it comes to adultery.
There is a spiritual sense to adultery , which the Word speaks on as well.

 

[Girly3302]

God (Jesus) defined adultery as even thinking about an act of intimacy that falls outside the comfort zone of your partner!

Actually, delete the comfort zone junk - that's relativism slipping in.

Adultery is thinking about anything with another person than with your legal spouse. This includes more than just physical acts. If you get close enough to another person to even have those thoughts, you might have cheated on your spouse.

Yes that is true but it is not grounds for divorce because a persons partner can never see into the others thoughts. If you catch your husband looking at a woman dressing sexy how do you know for sure if his thought are impure? His thoughts could be curiosity and not lust. It is between him and God. In the end although lusting in your heart is a sin only the physical act is grounds for divorce.

 

[4Christ2]

Adultery is the act of breaking the "one flesh" bond created by God in holy matrimony. One flesh is the gift of sex given to a husband and wife by God - created from the beginning. It was so serious in OT times that it came with a sentence of death. In NT times, the death penalty was revoked, but if not repented of..leads to death everlasting.

Committing adultery in the heart is sin because it is the planting of a sinful seed which if not repented of immediately; leads to the actual adultery in the flesh...joining one's body to one who is not one's spouse in the sexual act.

 

[Lyndiette]

Adultery is the act of breaking the "one flesh" bond created by God in holy matrimony. One flesh is the gift of sex given to a husband and wife by God - created from the beginning

Great definition... 'one flesh bond created by God in holy matrimony' being the most important aspects. Not all 'marriages' qualify...

 

[Piedpiper123]

Adultery is the act of breaking the "one flesh" bond created by God in holy matrimony. One flesh is the gift of sex given to a husband and wife by God - created from the beginning.

Only the act of sex is true adultery then?

 

[DZoolander]

In my humble opinion, the covenant of marriage is one made between you and two others...your spouse...and God. While I may not know exactly what God considers adultery to be - for that's all pretty vague - I definitely know what my spouse considers adultery to be.

Adultery, in my opinion, is any behavior that my partner would find unacceptable.

When I entered into the covenant of marriage with my wife - I did so willingly - knowing how she felt on all of those issues. It was my choice to make that covenant with her - knowing all that came with it. If I was uncomfortable with her definitions - I was perfectly free not to enter into the marriage. By entering into the marriage - I am implicitly saying "I accept you, and everything that comes with it."

If my wife considers hugging another woman cheating - then for all intents and purposes - by marrying her - I have agreed that within the boundaries of our marriage - hugging another woman is cheating. If I didn't want such limitations - I should not have married her.

 

[4Christ2]

Only the act of sex is true adultery then?

This is correct. But Jesus our Lord did raise the bar on NT believers. He said that to even look upon a woman to "lust" after her is committing adultery. I believe this "adultery" however is a warning to repent immediately. Think about it. If a believer takes these words of Jesus and applies it in heart and deed; how many "one flesh" covenants will remain intact? Many? All?

 

[Piedpiper123]

But Jesus our Lord did raise the bar on NT believers. He said that to even look upon a woman to "lust" after her is committing adultery. I believe this "adultery" however is a warning to repent immediately. Think about it. If a believer takes these words of Jesus and applies it in heart and deed; how many "one flesh" covenants will remain intact? Many? All?

Yes, I agree with this but I was trying to determine what is adultery in the sense of this is grounds for divorce. I think the general opinion here is that it is the act of sex itself.

 

[LaceyAnnMarie]

Hummm I think to me adultery would be when your partner sleeps with another person, or has a emotional affair.... I don't think it has to be just physical..... I think if everyone got divorced over just lustful thoughts alot of us women and men would be single!

 

[4Christ2]

Mat 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever, shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication,4202 causeth her to commit adultery:3429 and whosoever, shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

G4202
πορνεία
porneia
por-ni'-ah
From G4203; harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively idolatry: - fornication.

G3429
μοιχάω
moichaō
moy-khah'-o
From G3432; (middle voice) to commit adultery: - commit adultery.

I do not believe the laws of the land recognize "emotional adultery" as a valid reason to divorce. In this instance I believe grounds for divorce would fall under something like "irreconcilable differences". If there is proof of adultery in the full sense, meaning sexual intercouse took place with someone other than the lawful spouse...then divorce is granted based upon that proof of adultery.

In scriptures Jesus validates Moses' law that allowed divorce for adultery should the husband not have 100% proof that it occurred. If the husband had proof, the law called for stoning to death as capital punishment of that day.

Today, there is no capital punishment for adultery. So a man or woman is allowed to seek a divorce for almost any grounds they choose - no fault divorce (in most states).

Scripturally today, divorce is only allowed in instances of fornication (which can also include adultery). But this is not what Jesus says the Father God intended. Marriage was intended from the time of its creation to be one man and one woman, joined in a "one flesh" union as long as they both lived. (This is where the traditional vows come from). What God intended, and I believe, what He prefers is that we walk in forgiveness toward our mate as HE walks in forgiveness for us (His Bride) today. We are under a new covenant of grace ushered in by the Lord Jesus Christ. We are no longer under the law of death and condemnation as in the days of Moses. We are to walk in love and forgiveness. Is our God not able to heal all sicknesses, including the sicknesses that sometimes arise in a marriage, including adultery? Yes, HE can and does, IMO.

 

[sunlover1]

I would define adultery as any act of intimacy that you commit that you know falls outside of the comfort bounds of your partner.

I would say your conscience dictates.
I think we all know when we've fallen,
and even when we're starting to lose
our balance.
Just watch where you're walking, look
at King David, why wasn't he where
he was s'pose to be?


If you do stumble,
we have an advocate with the Father!



sunlover

 

[Piedpiper123]

Hummm I think to me adultery would be when your partner sleeps with another person, or has a emotional affair.... I don't think it has to be just physical

An 'emotional affair' is a helpful term and I can see how it equals sleeping with someone in terms of unfaithfulness.

 

[ab1385]

adultery Look up adultery at Dictionary.com
"voluntary violation of the marriage bed," c.1300, avoutrie, from O.Fr. avoutrie, aoulterie, noun of condition from avoutre/aoutre, from L. adulterare "to corrupt" (see adulteration). Modern spelling, with the re-inserted -d-, is from c.1415 (see ad-). Classified as single adultery (with an unmarried person) and double adultery (with a married person). O.E. word was æwbryce "breach of law(ful marriage)."

Any other definition I have found seems to confirm this - that adultery is sexual intercourse between a married person and anyone other than their spouse. As the quote above shows, this is shown even in the basis of the word, adultery essentially referring to corruption of the marriage bed.

I'm interested in why everyone seems to think that adultery includes all sorts of other acts. Jesus statement about commiting adultery by looking at another woman to me implied that he was talking about 'a desire to commit adultery' as being equivalent to actually doing it. That is, he wasn't redefining adultery, but stating that 'I would do it, if I had the chance' is as bad a sin as 'I did do it'.

Are adding things of our own definition to the term adultery, or do people base their ideas of what adultery is on some other translation of the original greek word? I'm intrigued, as no definition I've found so far of adultery supports this...

Not that I think that kissing another person other than your spouse isn't sinful, but is it adultery? Or premarital sex as a similar idea - it may not be God's plan, but is it adultery?

 

[4Christ2]

Any other definition I have found seems to confirm this - that adultery is sexual intercourse between a married person and anyone other than their spouse. As the quote above shows, this is shown even in the basis of the word, adultery essentially referring to corruption of the marriage bed.

I look at the divorce of God from the nation Israel. There was no literal "marriage bed" as Israel was not an individual, but a nation. God divorced her because of her worship of foreign gods and her sexual involvement with pagans who worshipped foreign gods. These were violations of a lawful "marriage" that God had with His Bride to be, Israel.

 

[Chie]

I look at the divorce of God from the nation Israel. There was no literal "marriage bed" as Israel was not an individual, but a nation. God divorced her because of her worship of foreign gods and her sexual involvement with pagans who worshipped foreign gods. These were violations of a lawful "marriage" that God had with His Bride to be, Israel.

Agree, there is physical and spiritual adultery.