What if I feel like life's a curse

[Angeleyes7715]

I never asked to be put on this
planet and I hate how everything works.

The way things work aren't the way I want them too. If I can't exist the way I want I don't want to exist.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Everyday I'm afraid and I feel like Im living my childhood nightmare of losing everyone and getting older. Why would God just let us all sit around waiting and watching everyone we know die until it's our turn.

Everyday I'm afraid of this but I'm also afraid of missing out because I'm too poor to do anything in this life but work and pay bills

I'm afraid of working so hard and building relationships just for everything to mean nothing because sickness, death, fights, life takes everything away. Nothing happy ever lasts.

I can't get any Peace or enjoy anything because all there is is fear. And it's not going away because all the things I mentioned are facts of Life that God intended...

How can anyone enjoy something so temporary.

And to be honest I am scared of the idea of heaven. I'm scared because I don't want to replace what I know and love here. It's all I have. I can't imagine sitting around chanting praises 24/7 and doing nothing else it doesn't sound wonderful. I am probably too carnally minded I'm sorry.

I feel like my night anxiety is kicking in sorry... I usually am at my worst when it gets dark and others are asleep. It literally feels like being in a bad dream all alone so my anxiety gets bad.

 

[Kevin Snow]

Well that's why we have joy in our hearts knowing that all this will pass away, that God will make all things new.

 

[Angeleyes7715]

Well that's why we have joy in our hearts knowing that all this will pass away, that God will make all things new.

That actually makes me cry cause God is taking away all my friends and family. I don't want new people in my life.

 

[ImAllLikeOkWaitWat]

Let go and just breathe.

 

[Kevin Snow]

That actually makes me cry cause God is taking away all my friends and family. I don't want new people in my life.

Not this life, the next life will be new.

 

[Noxot]

it seems hard to find that balance between struggle and ease. what makes reality worth existing in?

it seems part of your problem are fears about losing the ones you love. faith in the love and mercy of God can aid in that. since you seem to be a person who loves freedom I think it will be easier for you to have faith in a God that is good and infinitely loving and wise. it helped me to stop looking at God as some jerk authoritarian.

trust me, if God does not love you then he's not worth loving. but if he does love you, then it might be useful to try to think of how infinite love would be like. your neurotic nature should try to take shelter and comfort in Gods love, it has helped me obtain some peace.

I know all your problems can't be solved by knowing God loves you an infinite amount, but it can help.

 

[Job3315]

Everyday I'm afraid and I feel like Im living my childhood nightmare of losing everyone and getting older. Why would God just let us all sit around waiting and watching everyone we know die until it's our turn.

Everyday I'm afraid of this but I'm also afraid of missing out because I'm too poor to do anything in this life but work and pay bills

I'm afraid of working so hard and building relationships just for everything to mean nothing because sickness, death, fights, life takes everything away. Nothing happy ever lasts.

I can't get any Peace or enjoy anything because all there is is fear. And it's not going away because all the things I mentioned are facts of Life that God intended...

How can anyone enjoy something so temporary.

And to be honest I am scared of the idea of heaven. I'm scared because I don't want to replace what I know and love here. It's all I have. I can't imagine sitting around chanting praises 24/7 and doing nothing else it doesn't sound wonderful. I am probably too carnally minded I'm sorry.

I feel like my night anxiety is kicking in sorry... I usually am at my worst when it gets dark and others are asleep. It literally feels like being in a bad dream all alone so my anxiety gets bad.

That’s the beauty of today. I always remind my family and friends to live for today. Even Jesus told us not to worry about tomorrow. If someone dies or leaves tomorrow then you will be glad that loved them today and you were able to enjoy them for a season. Life is all about seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3 talks about how there is a time for everything. Live for today. Make your world small, enjoy every day because tomorrow is never granted for no one, but if you continue being anxious about tomorrow and you do live tomorrow I bet you will regret you didn’t live and loved well today.

 

[SkyWriting]

Everyday I'm afraid and I feel like Im living my childhood nightmare of losing everyone and getting older. Why would God just let us all sit around waiting and watching everyone we know die until it's our turn.

Everyday I'm afraid of this but I'm also afraid of missing out because I'm too poor to do anything in this life but work and pay bills

I'm afraid of working so hard and building relationships just for everything to mean nothing because sickness, death, fights, life takes everything away. Nothing happy ever lasts.

I can't get any Peace or enjoy anything because all there is is fear. And it's not going away because all the things I mentioned are facts of Life that God intended...

How can anyone enjoy something so temporary.

And to be honest I am scared of the idea of heaven. I'm scared because I don't want to replace what I know and love here. It's all I have. I can't imagine sitting around chanting praises 24/7 and doing nothing else it doesn't sound wonderful. I am probably too carnally minded I'm sorry.

I feel like my night anxiety is kicking in sorry... I usually am at my worst when it gets dark and others are asleep. It literally feels like being in a bad dream all alone so my anxiety gets bad.

Find somebody who needs a friend and help them out.
This is the solution that addresses each of your concerns.

 

[Jeshu]

Oh dear sister you are missing the point completely and therefore neither earth or heaven seem good to you, now who would have an interest in you thinking and feeling like that you may wonder?

Jesus tells us the secret - we have to loose our life as it is - no good and hurting - and find a new life in and with Him - even while we travel this earth in 3 dimensional time wasting away in our 'old' life coming to new in our heavenly life.

You will see if you dare to give you bad hurting life away - deny it - and place your faith in Christ's love then you can hope for better as well. For He will build you anew you don't have to do that yourself.

So yes for years i walked around like you. depressed, confused, suicidal hating the world around me and all i wanted to do was die. However when my Jesus revelation came He got rid of my bad life and brought me a new life so much better than the old and still growing every day. It changed my perspective completely to praise God 24/7 is my delight instead of my torture for praising God is the most delightful thing you can possible ever do. What is impossible to understand in our bad life, is our very desire in our good life.

Be of good courage and ask Jesus to teach you to put your faith in His love instead of your own torturous feelings and your depressed ideas.

Isaiah 55
‘Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.
Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labour on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and you will delight in the richest of fare.
Give ear and come to me;
listen, that you may live.
I will make an everlasting covenant with you,
my faithful love promised to David.
See, I have made him a witness to the peoples,
a ruler and commander of the peoples.
Surely you will summon nations you know not,
and nations you do not know will come running to you,
because of the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel,
for he has endowed you with splendour.’


Seek the Lord while he may be found;
call on him while he is near.
Let the wicked forsake their ways
and the unrighteous their thoughts.
Let them turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on them,
and to our God, for he will freely pardon.


‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,’
declares the Lord.
‘As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
it will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy
and be led forth in peace;
the mountains and hills
will burst into song before you,
and all the trees of the field
will clap their hands.
Instead of the thorn-bush will grow the juniper,
and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown,
for an everlasting sign,
that will endure for ever.’