What? I don't smoke anymore?

[Cozmo]

Initially it was a drag here, a drag there. I was 13 and loved the thought of doing something that I wasn't allowed to do. Plus, it had the extra benefit of making me look cool and gain the acceptance of my so-called friends. This went on until a friend gave me my first full cigarette at age 14. It made me nervous because I knew they were bad for me, but then again, everybody else did it and I didn't really like the idea of being left out.

Now I was 15 and bought my first pack. I had a little extra money and thought why not? I already smoked full cigarettes and really hated it when I had to find a friend that smoked and bum a cigarette from them. Now I had my own and didn't need to ask anybody. The thought of independence and being able to kick back and just light up was almost powerful at that age. Definitely made me feel like an adult, of which, at that age, most of us want to be. At least, my friends and I did.

Alas, I was hooked and hooked I stayed for many, many, many years. Gave my heart to God, and still smoked. Met my future wife, and still smoked. Worked with terminally ill patients, and still smoked. Had plenty of reasons to smoke... just finished eating, just woke up, getting ready for bed, had extra time, needed to take a break, because of stress, because I was happy, because I was mad, because I was scared, because I wanted to, just because... everything was an opportunity to have a cigarette.

I didn't have near the energy I should have at my age. Smoking always left me with a heavy feeling in my chest and it just didn't taste the same. It wasn't cool, it wasn't really accepting, and it certainly didn't make me feel mature. Regardless of that, I just had to have one more. My last pack always became my last pack and I started praying about it a lot. I tried quitting so many times, but never had the strength to do it or should I say continue on staying.. err.. quit. Nevertheless, I continued to pray. I never thought it affected my salvation, but it was always a horrible testimony and I didn't want to be a slave to it anymore.

First Thursday of November in 2004. I woke up in the morning and as my custom, I reached for a cigarette and my lighter. Looked at it and thought, nah, I don't want it. Jumped onto my computer for a bit and then jumped into the shower. Was getting ready for work and my wife (bless her ever loving heart) handed me my pack of cigarettes. I looked at them and just didn't have any inclination for them. I told her no and she put them by the table because most likely I'd be home for lunch and be dieing for one. The night before that morning was the last time I ever smoked in my life. 21+ years I smoked. I do not believe that there is anything special about me nor do I know why I was able to quit that day or honestly why I do not have any desire for them anymore, but I am positive that I had help from above. I never looked back, never teased it by taking a drag, just done with it. I do not complain about smoke from others smoking, but I do try to avoid being around it. I've never tried to push my wife to quit. I will keep her and my friends in my prayers to do so. In the meantime, it's just something else to praise God about, and praise God I most certainly will continue to do.



God bless!

 

[]RiSeN[]

All i can say is ...dude...thats awesome.

 

[Waylon]

how cool that feeling is to not be a slave to tobacco anymore. That is such a rad story too, you can totally see God working in your life and like you said; it's not that your special or anything it's just God's awsome power. So cool!