What i do when i want to hurt myself.

[justcallmejamie]

I just dwell on Jesus, like i try to imagine what his hair must smell like and what his skin feels like, i try to imagine laying in his arms, and resting on him. Then God always begins to talk to me, i have spent a lot of time getting to know Jesus, meaning i try to imagine what having a cup of coffee with him would be like or talking to him at a party, or holding his hand across the dinner table. I have learned the characteristics of God in that time, so it has gotten a lot easier to do this.. i literally spend everynight in the arms of Jesus and sometimes during the day, when those old hounds come hungry for blood, i run to him then too. Jesus is the only answer, we hurt our selves becuase the pain is too great in our hearts and too great in our minds and we think there is no escape , that we have to cut or hit or punch to let out the tornado, but He is waiting for us to give ourselves to him. To go ahead and cry it all out, to talk about the shame and the hurt, and to cry about being thrown away like trash, He knows our anxious thoughts and he wants to prove his love to us, He knows we are all broken flowers, he knows that we were never meant for this kind of treatment, and beloved, he cries with us, and then he kisses out tears away and comforts us. This is my God, this is Jesus to me, he is the perfect father, best friend, husband, he told me once that "if this is what you need then this is what ill do" there is a much more deeper intimacy to behold friends.

 

[lexidoodle]

That is awesome that you are so close to God right now.

 

[daughteroftheking1983]

what a fabulous post!! Bless you!

 

[justcallmejamie]

i hope it helps you in the dark times.

 

[bittyhippo]

Thank you so much for posting that, Jamie! That's really wonderful that you are able to so literally turn to Jesus in your pain. It's a good (and needed!) reminder to me of what REALLY helps in my troubled times.

 

[Mayflower1]

I just dwell on Jesus, like i try to imagine what his hair must smell like and what his skin feels like, i try to imagine laying in his arms, and resting on him. Then God always begins to talk to me, i have spent a lot of time getting to know Jesus, meaning i try to imagine what having a cup of coffee with him would be like or talking to him at a party, or holding his hand across the dinner table. I have learned the characteristics of God in that time, so it has gotten a lot easier to do this.. i literally spend everynight in the arms of Jesus and sometimes during the day, when those old hounds come hungry for blood, i run to him then too. Jesus is the only answer, we hurt our selves becuase the pain is too great in our hearts and too great in our minds and we think there is no escape , that we have to cut or hit or punch to let out the tornado, but He is waiting for us to give ourselves to him. To go ahead and cry it all out, to talk about the shame and the hurt, and to cry about being thrown away like trash, He knows our anxious thoughts and he wants to prove his love to us, He knows we are all broken flowers, he knows that we were never meant for this kind of treatment, and beloved, he cries with us, and then he kisses out tears away and comforts us. This is my God, this is Jesus to me, he is the perfect father, best friend, husband, he told me once that "if this is what you need then this is what ill do" there is a much more deeper intimacy to behold friends.

That was beautiful!!! Thank you so much, that is so true. I have found out that falling on the arms of Jesus Christ is the only way of stopping these demons from torturing me all of the time. I failed the day after Christmas and I cut six times... I didn't fall on God but I just fell and I fell bad. Everytime though that I just pray a prayer of Thanksgiving to Him when I am feeling so down and everything isn't going right... Christ just comes in and makes everything feel so much better. He puts the joy back into my life. Thank you so much. I am adding you to my friend's list. That was awesome. Best Wishes, I will pray for you. Lily00

 

[justcallmejamie]

ive taken residence in his arms personally, i never leave and he always wants me there.

thanks for the add, me too.

 

[IKTCA]

"if this is what you need then this is what ill do"

Isn't our Lord sensitive to our need?

 

[justcallmejamie]

Isn't our Lord sensitive to our need?

he floors me everytime friend, its like there is nothing to deep for him to heal. I am actually blessed i get to experience this kind of Intimacy with Christ, its like payback for all the sin against me, through that pain i get to go super deep with Jesus, it is priceless to me. I am priceless to him. And that Knowledge is worth a thousand kingdoms and a million tears.

 

[AnointedPoetess]

I just dwell on Jesus, like i try to imagine what his hair must smell like and what his skin feels like, i try to imagine laying in his arms, and resting on him. Then God always begins to talk to me, i have spent a lot of time getting to know Jesus, meaning i try to imagine what having a cup of coffee with him would be like or talking to him at a party, or holding his hand across the dinner table. I have learned the characteristics of God in that time, so it has gotten a lot easier to do this.. i literally spend everynight in the arms of Jesus and sometimes during the day, when those old hounds come hungry for blood, i run to him then too. Jesus is the only answer, we hurt our selves becuase the pain is too great in our hearts and too great in our minds and we think there is no escape , that we have to cut or hit or punch to let out the tornado, but He is waiting for us to give ourselves to him. To go ahead and cry it all out, to talk about the shame and the hurt, and to cry about being thrown away like trash, He knows our anxious thoughts and he wants to prove his love to us, He knows we are all broken flowers, he knows that we were never meant for this kind of treatment, and beloved, he cries with us, and then he kisses out tears away and comforts us. This is my God, this is Jesus to me, he is the perfect father, best friend, husband, he told me once that "if this is what you need then this is what ill do" there is a much more deeper intimacy to behold friends.

Wow Jamie, that was so awesome! it blew my mind and floored me! it was such a strong encouragement to me, thanks so much for sharing big sis! That blessed me more than you realize! i'm almost in tears!

 

[justcallmejamie]

thats why i posted it...remember he is always with you, you just need to become aware of him more.

When i am real frazzled, like i mean stressed out need a valium...i close my eyes and think about Jesus brushing my hair for me...i know it sounds funny but think about it...he would be soooo gentle...cuz he would never ever hurt you..not like mom who rakes the brush through your hair cuz she is late for work..he would do it with love and care. It works everytime. He has a way of smoothing us out.