What exactly is the problem?

[leothelioness]

I see a lot of Christians, especially the very conservative, traditional ones judging married couples who have chosen not to have children. Why is it such a bad thing if a couple chooses not to have children? Has it occurred to anyone that maybe some people are just not fit to be parents?

 

[Poverello78]

I agree, to a point. Some people may not be fit to be parents, and perhaps they choose not to because they understand they aren't; But that's a very unlikely reason given that Christians very rarely act based upon what they are unable to be, but more on what they believe they can and/or should be.

In my opinion, there is no morally reasonable ground to stand on in regards to having or not having children. It's a simple choice, like eating Thai or Indian, which should not have any affect on one's relationship with God in general.

 

[&Abel]

I see a lot of Christians, especially the very conservative, traditional ones judging married couples who have chosen not to have children. Why is it such a bad thing if a couple chooses not to have children? Has it occurred to anyone that maybe some people are just not fit to be parents?

wow really?

thats silly

 

[dies-l]

I see a lot of Christians, especially the very conservative, traditional ones judging married couples who have chosen not to have children. Why is it such a bad thing if a couple chooses not to have children? Has it occurred to anyone that maybe some people are just not fit to be parents?

I do not agree with their position, but I do understand where they are coming from. These are usually people who not only believe in biblical inerrancy, but also believe that the correct interpretation of any passage of Scripture is that which is dictated by the plain meaning of the words. Generally, this means that, while they have some appreciation of written context, historical and social context is generally disregarded by those with this particular theological leaning.

The viewpoint that you describe comes from a particualrly literalist reading of Genesis 9:7 (and similar passages). From this, they conclude that we have a moral obligation to have as many children as possible, so as to ensure that the earth remains as heavily populated as possible. Given their interpretative methodology, this is an entirely reasonable understanding of this passage. However, I believe that this interpretaion becomes questionable when considered in the light of historical and social context.

 

[Celticflower]

Personally - I think the the decision on whether to have children (or how many to have) should be up to the couple and NOT the religious community.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

I don't know what you mean. I never heard a conservative Christian judge a couple for not having kids.

 

[dies-l]

I don't know what you mean. I never heard a conservative Christian judge a couple for not having kids.

It's a pretty extreme hardline (and somewhat rare) view, but I have seen it a few times expressed on these forums.

 

[lux et lex]

I don't know what you mean. I never heard a conservative Christian judge a couple for not having kids.

I'm not sure I've read it in the forum, but I have heard it in person. I do not plan on having kids, and I've heard other people around me talk about how selfish it is for married people not to have children...they'll never live a fulfilled life...etc. And sex is made for reproduction...so the sex going on in the marriage is sinful because they know there will be no end result. (yes, I have actually heard that one)

 

[ERice2nd]

Personally - I think the the decision on whether to have children (or how many to have) should be up to the couple and NOT the religious community.

I agree with this. its not up to anybody but the couple and God. Look at Abraham and Sarah. they were well over 90 years old before God told them "I will give you a child." Abraham and Sarah were quite happy without the children and they were happy with the children.

 

[2ndRateMind]

It's a sad irony, but seems to me to be true, that while in our youth we have all the sexual desire that makes for children, but not necessarily the judgement that will see them well brought up, in our middle and older years and as we gain that judgement, we tend to lose the sexual desire.

Who says God has no sense of humour? He can be most sardonic, for those of us who appreciate the blacker side of life.

Best wishes, 2ndRateMind

 

[one11]

It's a sad irony, but seems to me to be true, that while in our youth we have all the sexual desire that makes for children, but not necessarily the judgement that will see them well brought up, in our middle and older years and as we gain that judgement, we tend to loose the sexual desire.

Who says God has no sense of humour? He can be most sardonic, for those of us who appreciate the blacker side of life.

Best wishes, 2ndRateMind

I started a career as a babysitter at 13. It takes a lot of energy to run after kids. Not only that but with two career parents in the home, the homes were filled with filth. Dirty, disgusting... dog poop every where and stinky diapers. It's a 24/7 job with A LOT OF WORK! And I grew up in an upper middle class neighborhood, but I do recall how absolutely filthy those homes were. Not fit for kids. Dogs maybe, but not people. Literally, dog poop on couches, pee, etc. It was disgusting. I tried doing cleaning at first when the kids were asleep, but if the parents weren't going to pay me extra, I stopped doing the housework. I was just recalling some of those days of youth recently and couldn't figure out WHY people would like to live like that in utter filth, piles of stinky laundry. Why have kids if you can't be a proper parent to them?

I am going on 52 and there isn't any way I'd want to be a Mom, and I am 99.9% almost 100% silent on the subject of being a grandma. I'd like too, but it's up to them if and when ever ready?

 

[chingchang]

I see a lot of Christians, especially the very conservative, traditional ones judging married couples who have chosen not to have children. Why is it such a bad thing if a couple chooses not to have children? Has it occurred to anyone that maybe some people are just not fit to be parents?

There is entirely too much judging going on by "Christians"...especially the more fundamentalist ones. If a married couple doesn't want to have kids...big whoop. I will say though...that I have learned so much more about God and my relationship with Him by having kids.

Hugs,
CC

 

[leothelioness]

I do not agree with their position, but I do understand where they are coming from. These are usually people who not only believe in biblical inerrancy, but also believe that the correct interpretation of any passage of Scripture is that which is dictated by the plain meaning of the words. Generally, this means that, while they have some appreciation of written context, historical and social context is generally disregarded by those with this particular theological leaning.

The viewpoint that you describe comes from a particualrly literalist reading of Genesis 9:7 (and similar passages). From this, they conclude that we have a moral obligation to have as many children as possible, so as to ensure that the earth remains as heavily populated as possible. Given their interpretative methodology, this is an entirely reasonable understanding of this passage. However, I believe that this interpretaion becomes questionable when considered in the light of historical and social context.

Yeah, the only time in the Bible were God specifically commands someone to reproduce was after the creation of Adam and Eve, and again to Noah and his sons after the flood. Nowhere else is that command restated.

It would make sense for reproduction to be an obligation when there's only a few people on the earth (as in the above instances), but now that we have 6 BILLION people and a lot of over crowding in some areas, I don't think it's really that important anymore.

 

[elephunky]

Problem is the attitude, "If i dont feel the same way it must be wrong, if I dont agree it must be wrong"

 

[savedandhappy1]

I see a lot of Christians, especially the very conservative, traditional ones judging married couples who have chosen not to have children. Why is it such a bad thing if a couple chooses not to have children? Has it occurred to anyone that maybe some people are just not fit to be parents?

I am very conservative, and have no idea what you are talking about or why being conservative or not has anything to do with someones decision to judge people who don't want children. Also, don't know of anything in the Bible that would make people think this is wrong according to the Word of God.

 

[savedandhappy1]

There is entirely too much judging going on by "Christians"...especially the more fundamentalist ones. If a married couple doesn't want to have kids...big whoop. I will say though...that I have learned so much more about God and my relationship with Him by having kids.

Hugs,
CC

So you must be fundamentalist, because it almost sounds like you are judging?

Do agree there is alot of judging going on in the church, but also know the Bible says we are to judge righteously.

Don't know of anything in the Bible that says not having children is a sin tho.

P.S. Oh, by the way I am a fundmentalist conservative Christian.

 

[dies-l]

I am very conservative, and have no idea what you are talking about or why being conservative or not has anything to do with someones decision to judge people who don't want children. Also, don't know of anything in the Bible that would make people think this is wrong according to the Word of God.

I think the idea is that those of us who have encountered this view point have found that it is unique certain very conservative Christians. While it is certainly more common in the RCC than in Protestant demoninations, I have encountered it from people in both groups, and in every case, the people espousing this view would otherwise be identified as very conservative.

 

[K9_Trainer]

I've seen these topics before on CF. It's pretty sad how judgmental people can be towards those who don't hold the same standard or same Biblical interpretation.

I happen to agree that it's up to the couple. If a couple does not see themselves fit to have children for whatever reason, even if it's because they don't want to make the commitment, then thats perfectly fine and I don't see that as being irresponsible or selfish at all as some would argue. In fact, it'd be far more irresponsible and selfish to bring children into the world when you aren't willing to devote what it takes to raise them and you end up neglecting them in one way or another.

I may end up child free. I have other goals in life and don't feel that God is holding me to the Biblical standard of birthing and raising kids. He's given me certain passions and abilities for a reason and I believe He intends me to put them to good use while honoring Him in the process. If I find myself in a position where I can devote the time and money to a child, then I'm more compelled to adopt one from a third world country.

 

[jparks]

Wow, I've never run across that attitude, and I live in a pretty conservative community (I have children myself, but my closest friend does not).

God does not wish us to live selfish, self-centered lives - perhaps some Christians mistakenly assume that people who do not have children are self-centered? I've met many giving, loving people, supportive of their community, their church, and those less fortunate than themselves who have not had children. And, sadly, I've met cold and self-involved women and men with large (and I fear unhappy) families.

Having a child should never be undertaken lightly - it is a burden, a joyful burden to many (including myself), but with any burden you must consider first whether you are called to bear it. There are many ways to serve our Lord and live a life of faith.

 

[chingchang]

So you must be fundamentalist, because it almost sounds like you are judging?

Nice attempt at sarcasm and if you go back and ready my post you'll find no judgement. I have experienced the judgement firsthand though...as I was a member at a conservative fundamentalist Church for 5 1/2 years ending April 2008.

Do agree there is alot of judging going on in the church, but also know the Bible says we are to judge righteously.

Really? Where? I recall a COMMAND from the one who bought us with his blood...

Luke 6:36 (NIV):
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

P.S. Oh, by the way I am a fundmentalist conservative Christian.

Wow...I'm suprised!

Hugs,
CC