What does it mean to speak the truth in love?

RaymondG · Jul 14, 2017

For all those saying that their truth should cut like a knife and questions if nothing should be done when blatant wrong it displayed.....answer this.

What truth would you have given to the the woman caught in adultery? This is a blatant act of sin and clearly taught as wrong in the bible.

Would your truth cut like the stones the pharisees wanted to throw? Or like the Love shown by Christ? I assure you the love of Christ cut much deeper and was everlasting.....But this doesnt seem to be the cutting people are advocating.

rockytopva · Jul 14, 2017

DL Moody was a shoes salesman turned evangelist. When he was in England he was an enormous hit and many came to hear him.

One day a jealous American clergy man commented, "I do not know why the Englishman love the shoes salesman when we have so much more educated preachers back in the states!"

The Englishman replied, "Because the shoes salesman preaches with tears!"

AlexDTX · Jul 14, 2017

dqhall said:
Jesus was preaching against feeding dogs what was required to nourish people. There were times of famine in the ancient Roman empire and the service of dogs was doubtful at best.

That is not how I read the passage. He was insulting her. And, yes, it is true that the Jews considered gentiles to be dogs as an insult.

dqhall said:
I could not tell her she was stupid for keeping expensive pets while she was near the edge of poverty because I remembered truth in love can not always be so blunt.

Until this last statement it did not seem that you were responding to the OP. Thank you for making your point about being sensitive to the plight of that woman. I have a similar issue with a friend in our house church. He has a single income and he supports his wife, 3 daughters and a son. His 3 daughters are 30, 28, and 26 still living at home without jobs. We have already addressed the issue so he knows we think his girls should get jobs and pay rent while they still live at home. But there are issues in their family that they won't speak about so we have left this to God and we pray for them.

AlexDTX · Jul 14, 2017

yeshuaslavejeff said:
"Open rebuke" (blunt truth) is better than "hidden"(quiet, unspoken) love.

Thank you for quoting proverbs. I wish you had referenced which proverb it was. We agree that there is a time and place for open rebuke.

AlexDTX · Jul 14, 2017

GandalfTheWise said:
As I thought about this thread, I realized that I became a lot less confrontational over the years.

When I was younger, I was an obnoxious jerk who would argue about God's Truth over the drop of a hat. Anyone who was sinning, dabbled in unspiritual things, went to the wrong denomination, didn't believe the right things, etc. would often end up a target in my sights in my crusade to singlehandedly help everyone become holy and believe the right things about God. I was speaking truth and could expect persecution and rebellion from people who rejected it. So I sincerely kept on doing it thinking that I was doing the kingdom of God and the body of Christ a great favor.

In reality, I was a self-righteous zealous little pharisee who though I knew anything and everything. I burned a lot of bridges and I'm guessing some people avoided me. "Speaking Truth" had in essence become berating anyone who didn't act or think like I thought they should over anything that bothered me (or grieved my spirit to put it into a more spiritual form). I was doing a lot more hurting people than helping them. The issue isn't that I wasn't doing any good; I was doing some good. But the problem was the mixture of damaging and helping in itself meant I was doing it wrong. This was not what God wanted me to be doing.

I found later that I was having a lot more impact on people's lives by being helpful, encouraging, loving, and letting them see my life. Instead of using my words to tell them what to believe and how to act, I was showing them through my actions and on occasion explaining it. Now, I'm mainly an old guy who writes long (sometimes rambling) posts, tells stories making fun of how stupid I used to be, acts like I'm giving good grandfatherly advice, and occasionally gives young whippersnappers a piece of my mind when they get too far out of line.

It's fortunate that no one here would be arguing that speaking truth means having the obligation and willingness to address any and every sin and doctrinal error that they think they might be seeing.

I think it is fair to say that all of us who fell in love with Jesus had a zeal without knowledge in our early walks with the Lord. When I read some posts on this forum I often think about the verse that knowledge puffs up but love edifies. When you consider the letter of the law in what they say, they are right, but it is often not received and produce little results. Of course, all the other zealous without knowledge commentators will applaud them which makes them think they are hitting their stride. Fortunately for all of us, God is gracious and patient with us and will eventually give us a Pharisectomy in due season. The ends never justify the means.

AlexDTX · Jul 14, 2017

rockytopva said:
DL Moody was a shoes salesman turned evangelist. When he was in England he was an enormous hit and many came to hear him.

One day a jealous American clergy man commented, "I do not know why the Englishman love the shoes salesman when we have so much more educated preachers back in the states!"

The Englishman replied, "Because the shoes salesman preaches with tears!"

Thank you for that edifying comment, Rocky!

friend of · Jul 14, 2017

I think in discussions sometimes one may misinterpret the other as judging their position when they could in fact be applying the correct amount of discernment backed by knowledge that hasn't been fully presented yet. Hasty conclusions don't help here.

James 1:19 implores us to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. We should always strive to be charitable to other's side and not rush to conclusions about what they are presenting because we can't always witness every cog turning in the mind of another, but it's also important that our discernment is allowed to be expressed fully. In discussions on matters of the Faith, having an easily offended spirit doesn't help when offering edification or correction. Patience is important and Love is not easily offended, as 1 Corinthians 13:4 says.

tturt · Jul 14, 2017

Pharisectomy - love it!

JCFantasy23 · Jul 15, 2017

MOD HAT ON

This Thread Has Been Moved

We are moving this thread to a section where it is a better fit. It does not fit in Christian Advice, so has been moved here as a helpful topic for spiritual growth.

Please continue the discussion here, thank you.

MOD HAT OFF

Emmy · Jul 15, 2017

Dear AlexGTX. In Matthew 22: 35-40: Jesus gives us a good answer, " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is like it: love thy neighbour as thyself." In verse 40 we are told: On these two Commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets. God is Love, and God wants loving sons and daughters.
The Bible tells us: give up our selfish desires and wishes, start Loving God and loving our neighbour. (neighbour is all we know and all we meet) Love is very catching, and soon we will find that love grows and grows. Start loving and we will be the men and women which God wants us to be.
In Mathew 7: 7-10: we read: Ask and you shall receive, we keep asking God for Love, then thank God and share all love and kindness, and treat all others as we would love to be treated. I say this with love, Alex. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

Emmy · Jul 15, 2017

Dear Monotor, I have just send an answer to what it means to speak the truth, but my answer has disappeared. " What does it mean to speak the truth? " The answer is simple and easy to understand: we all know the truth from untruth, let us therefore write the truth as we know it. Ask God and follow Jesus. Then we always speak the truth. I say this with love. Emmy, sister in Christ.

Emmy · Jul 15, 2017

Dear Monitor. Sorry for the o twice in Monitor. Emmy, sister in Christ

razzelflabben · Jul 15, 2017

AlexDTX said:
As a teacher, I would also add that humility brings teachableness. Which means that if we are speaking the truth in love we will also be receptive to the truth if it is spoken back to us.

amen

razzelflabben · Jul 15, 2017

RaymondG said:
For all those saying that their truth should cut like a knife and questions if nothing should be done when blatant wrong it displayed.....answer this.

What truth would you have given to the the woman caught in adultery? This is a blatant act of sin and clearly taught as wrong in the bible.

Would your truth cut like the stones the pharisees wanted to throw? Or like the Love shown by Christ? I assure you the love of Christ cut much deeper and was everlasting.....But this doesnt seem to be the cutting people are advocating.

which brings up the difference between hurt and harm. Love does no harm but it often times hurts. Which then brings up the purpose of Love which is clearly seen in the example you gave of reconciliation/restoration.

razzelflabben · Jul 15, 2017

Emmy said:
Dear Monotor, I have just send an answer to what it means to speak the truth, but my answer has disappeared. " What does it mean to speak the truth? " The answer is simple and easy to understand: we all know the truth from untruth, let us therefore write the truth as we know it. Ask God and follow Jesus. Then we always speak the truth. I say this with love. Emmy, sister in Christ.

According to scripture, truth is God, aka Jesus the Christ...thus all comments spoken in Love should draw one closer to truth, aka Christ should it not?

HR Woman in TX · Jul 15, 2017

As said before ...

To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
a time to break down
a time to build up
a time to cast away stones
a time to gather stones together
a time to embrace
a time to refrain from embracing
a time to keep silence
a time to speak
a time to love
a time to hate
a time of war
a time of peace.

Remembering that harsh words stir up anger ...

JESUS=G.O.A.T · Jul 15, 2017

AlexDTX said:
I ask this question since there are times when debates begin to be hurtful. I personally believe that the Truth does not need to be defended since it is the Truth that defends us. I also believe that the the truth does not hurt, rather it is the lie and deception we have believed that hurts when revealed. So I think our job is to simply speak the truth and let the truth stand on its own. However, I do think that when the pain of revealing lies is great that we should be kind and thoughtful in how we speak the truth. Sometimes the truth simply needs to be alluded to and at other times it needs to be bluntly spoken. This all takes spiritual discernment, in my opinion.

It seems to me that considering the meaning of the Greek word for godly love, agape, would be a starting point. And a thoughtful consideration of 1 Corinthians 13 would be another point.

What do you all think?

Well I don't believe in the organized debates some Christians do but I do believe in discussions. And I don't believe just speaking the truth is enough espsicully if the other person starts questioning what is being spoken. You can't just end with well.. you choose to accept it or not... and they clearly aren't accepting it, you should at least try. Even Jesus himself had to defend the truth against the Phariseeses and others for example. I mean if speaking the truth wasn't enough in a time where it was easier to defend (wasn't all this stuff about science and evidence against the Bible) then we for sure have to defend the truth now. I've been able to convince people to seek god and start trying to live a Christian life and in most cases it required a good discussion or persistence. Can't say I've ever convinced anyone with just reading and presenting the truth and ending there.

tturt · Jul 15, 2017

Seems like there's a Scripture that you can present 2-3 times your perspective and then let it go. Can't remember how it's worded so having trouble locating it.

toLiJC · Jul 15, 2017

AlexDTX said:
I ask this question since there are times when debates begin to be hurtful. I personally believe that the Truth does not need to be defended since it is the Truth that defends us. I also believe that the the truth does not hurt, rather it is the lie and deception we have believed that hurts when revealed. So I think our job is to simply speak the truth and let the truth stand on its own. However, I do think that when the pain of revealing lies is great that we should be kind and thoughtful in how we speak the truth. Sometimes the truth simply needs to be alluded to and at other times it needs to be bluntly spoken. This all takes spiritual discernment, in my opinion.

It seems to me that considering the meaning of the Greek word for godly love, agape, would be a starting point. And a thoughtful consideration of 1 Corinthians 13 would be another point.

What do you all think?

the truth of God is based on display/manifestation of love for the neighbors/cohabitants

Blessings

Catherineanne · Jul 15, 2017

Fish Catcher Jim said:
Walking in Love is much more then simply not being rude. This includes speaking truth in love.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
23 humility, self control. Nothing in the Torah stands against such things.

Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful,
5 not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered,
and it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not gloat over other people’s sins
but takes its delight in the truth.
7 Love always bears up, always trusts,
always hopes, always endures.

Blessings
FCJ

Thank you most kindly for the exposition, but did I say love was only about being rude?

What I said was that you cannot be rude and loving at the same time.

What does it mean to speak the truth in love?

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