What do you think is dressing modestly?

[LivetoLove]

To me, modesty is an attitude. It's as much about the way you act as the way you dress, but clothes are also really important.

What is dressing modestly? With skirts/dresses, how short is too short to be modest? With tops, how low is too low for modesty?

Guys, are there clothes that you think are immodest but girls don't realise?

 

[Tamarind]

I find it difficult to understand Christian girls wearing low cut strappy tops and short shorts as I believe a modest attitude will be reflected through their choice of clothing. Such clothing is so common here that I think it is possibly modest as everyone else is so used to it, but for me it would not be.

Modesty reflects the culture you are brought up in and the culture you live in. There are things I do not consider immodest in most Western girls that I would not wear as it would be considered immodest by my family. I wear a head scarf, high necks, full or 3/4 length sleeves, and floor length skirts/wide legged trousers with knee length tunics. The girls I cannot understand maybe do not understand my choices either.

 

[clanless]

It's an attitude more than how one dresses. Man or woman, it doesn't matter, everyone should have some modesty. I don't care how women dress, but there are others out there who treat a woman badly on how she dresses.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

A bikini in a strip club.









No, but seriously, that's a good question, because I believe almost everybody gets it wrong. It's easy enough to pay lip service to the idea of "it's a heart issue", but what does that really mean? First of all, where it is specifically mentioned by Paul, it has to do with showing off one's wealth or riches by what you wear. The issue with what it looks like to dress modestly as we know it today (wearing too much or too little) is cultural.

Modest dress is dressing modestly within the unwritten guidelines of the culture we live in, IMO. Dressing like you just stepped off of a Little House On The Prairie set in order to show off one's modesty is inherently immodest, because you will draw FAR more attention to yourself than someone who is wearing mini shorts and a white tank top. Dressing modestly within the unwritten guidelines of the culture we live in is the ideal that spawned the "layering" trend that is so big today.

 

[LivetoLove]

I totally understand what you're all saying and where you're coming from (I completely agree that modesty is an attitude and change between cultures), but in terms of Western culture, what do you feel specifically is immodest in terms of clothes?

 

[VictoriasImage77]

I don't know if it's because I have matured in my mid 20's, or what, but lately I've been bothered by a lot of the clothing that I'm seeing both guys and girls wear.

First of all, those skinny jeans that are falling down on guys have GOT to go.

Shorts that I could mistake for underwear on girls-I could do without that.

I think cleavage and bellybuttons are also highly unnecessary.

A good rule of thumb is that if you have to constantly readjust your clothing in order to feel presentable..it's probably not appropriate!

In the past I was completely guilty of being the teenage girl that dressed for the wrong attention. Now as an adult I'm looking at these kids with concern. What a role reversal. I understand now that modesty, while important for sending the right message to others, is even more important for ones self worth.

 

[brittany111]

I agree modest dress is related to culture. For me I wear shorts and skirts no more than 2-3 inches above the knee and always make sure I'm covered up top (I hats turtle necks, but also want to make sure shirts are not to low.)

I also dress for the occasion, for example I wear pants, capris, or longer skirts when I'm teaching because I know I will have to sit in child size chairs or on the floor.

 

[KimberlyAA]

I think skirts are too short when you can almost see your underwear and you struggle to sit down without it showing. Tops are too low when you can see a whole set of cleavage. Modest clothes are comfortable and shouldn't reveal your private parts or your private undergarments for that matter.

 

[EazyMack]

What do you think is dressing modestly?

Wearing something to cover my body hair!

 

[ScarlettRose]

I think modesty in relation to clothes means wearing tops that don't show cleavage, shorts/skirts that are no more than a few inches above the knee & clothes that aren't too tight. Also, wearing clothes that show undergarments I find to be quite immodest.

 

[motherprayer]

Ooh! I am so glad I'm not the only person who has thought on this. I brought this up in a church group once (I no longer go to that church, for other reasons as well as this one) and everyone looked at me like I was nuts!
I will say this, since I have become a Christian, I have felt a growing conviction that the way I dress is very important, because worldly people can make wrong impressions about me based on what I am wearing. Ha, I don't go so far as to dress like a "Little House On The Prairie" girl, but I do make sure that my clothes are not provocative or revealing.
But, actually, I think it is practical in a worldly sense as well. If you do not engage in promiscuous sex, why would you want to dress like one who does? I remember talking to a girl on the bus one day, and she says, "Why do guys always think I'm available? I have a boyfriend, and I wear a promise ring on my left hand, so why do they constantly approach me?" Well, first she was beautiful. But second, and more importantly, she was wearing skin-tight leggings and a halter top that was cut so low her strapless bra was visible. She was quite obviously wearing a thong, and her earrings read "Sexy." All in all, she was not showing an extreme amount of skin, but her whole outfit screamed "Available!"
There is a way to look good without appearing like you are promiscuous. I receive a great many compliments on my clothes, but they are not revealing or super-tight.

 

[MacFall]

The scriptural concept of modesty basically means not flashing your wealth around. That's very different from the way most modern Christians understand it, at least in the West. By scriptural standards, a nudist colony is more modest than a conference room full of designer suits.

 

[RobertMerton]

jeans.
and a cardigan.

nah,but seriously i love girls that just wear jeans or something.
especially the cute ones.

as for how short is too short in terms of modesty, i think the rule that is used in some catholic schools is a good one.
if you're kneeling on the ground your skirt has to touch the ground.

 

[puddleoffaith]

I definitely struggle with modesty. I am guilty of owning short shorts and tiny tank tops. Some of my brothers in Christ have spoken to me about this particular subject and how much trouble it can cause men.

Ideally, before I leave the house, I should look in the mirror and think to myself:

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Is this outfit and the way I'm presenting myself glorifying God? If the answer is no, it's time to change.

 

[MacFall]

I definitely struggle with modesty. I am guilty of owning short shorts and tiny tank tops.

No you're not. Guilt is not appropriate there.

Some of my brothers in Christ have spoken to me about this particular subject and how much trouble it can cause men.

Those brothers have in Christ the power to overcome their lust, and more importantly to you, the responsibility to do so. Do NOT let them blame you for their failure to conquer that which they have been appointed to conquer.

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:31

Is this outfit and the way I'm presenting myself glorifying God? If the answer is no, it's time to change.

How do you glorify God in the way you dress? Do you let the lusts of man control your actions? I would say that is to be bound by the yoke of slavery from which Christ has set you free.

I would limit your sense of responsibility to that which is commonly appropriate. You could dress in a burlap sack and an immature man will still lust after you, and it will still be his responsibility. Or you could dress in the way that you enjoy, and no matter what that ends up being, a mature man will not be tempted by it.

 

[puddleoffaith]

I do agree that I could wear a burlap sac and some guys would still be tempted. However, in regards to wearing stereotypically immodest things like my short short hotpants, is it loving to my brothers in Christ to constantly tempt them and possibly be a stumbling block?

I agree with you that men are responsible for their own lust and own temptations. And yes, many men can control this. But there are some where this is their biggest temptation, and also, new Christian men that are still learning how to bounce their eyes. If I can do something to reduce that temptation, especially after one or two have actually asked me to consider wearing more modest clothing, I think it would be loving and God honouring to do so.

Not trying to be Miss Purity here. I definitely still wear my short shorts when it's really hot out. But I can see the reasons why I should consider giving them up.

 

[MacFall]

I do agree that I could wear a burlap sac and some guys would still be tempted. However, in regards to wearing stereotypically immodest things like my short short hotpants, is it loving to my brothers in Christ to constantly tempt them and possibly be a stumbling block?

God's word says that temptations come from within us, not from other people.

If I can do something to reduce that temptation, especially after one or two have actually asked me to consider wearing more modest clothing, I think it would be loving and God honouring to do so.

Not trying to be Miss Purity here. I definitely still wear my short shorts when it's really hot out. But I can see the reasons why I should consider giving them up.

I think your reasons are noble, and that God would count them as righteousness on your part. But always being on the run isn't the way that God has appointed for us to deal with temptation in Christ. Trying to change other people so as not to face one's temptation is running away, whereas one should put on the armor of God and stand his ground.

A man should be able to be a missionary to a nudist colony or a brothel without being tempted to lust. Even if few men ever achieve that, it's still what they should strive for.

 

[puddleoffaith]

I think we are arguing about modesty from a male-female perspective. Your argument is that men should be completely responsible over their lust without relying on women dressing modestly, and mine is that women should do their best to make it easier on men by dressing modestly.

I think we are both on opposite sides of the same coin.

 

[MacFall]

My original point is that modesty has nothing to do with how much skin you're showing.

As long as you're not being deliberately provocative, you're "modest" as far as the original meaning of the word (including what it meant when it was translated into English) goes.

 

[motherprayer]

Modesty is about not wearing clothes that suggest you are willing to engage in non-Biblical behavior