What do you think about depression?

[Stanfi]

If you meet someone that struggles with depression is that a turn off to you? Not necessarily a constant struggle, but every now and then they have a bad day. Are you willing to support someone like this, or do you walk away from them?

 

[Justin04]

i dont know.

 

[Xen_Antares]

Considering Ive been diagnosed with Clinical Depression, then yes, yes I would! My depression played a part of my ex breaking up with me. Took a bad spell and was told to hit the road, cause I dont talk anymore. Bah! If only she didnt run when the going got tough, and stuck around for my diagnoses, things would have gotten better. I wasnt too far from offing myself at that point

 

[invisiblebabe]

Not necessarily a constant struggle, but every now and then they have a bad day

I'm not sure I'd call that depression, but normal reactions to life (and this is coming from a girl who used to have clinical depression). Praise God though, I am doing much better now!

Now as for the question. I don't think I could handle a guy who is clinically depressed.... it just may drag me back down to how I used to be, and I certainly don't want that, not as I'm finally doing well!

However, if the guy in question used to have issues with depression as I did, I think that could be a common point of understanding. It's one of those things where it works best *after* the struggle is mostly over.

 

[Blank123]

It's really tough to say. I tend to be drawn to upbeat guys so If it weren't a constant thing, then I probably wouldn't have a problem, but like I said it's tough to say until you've actually been placed in that situation.

 

[Stanfi]

I'm not sure I'd call that depression, but normal reactions .

What I was reffering to is that I used to have a lot of trouble with depression, it is better now, but I still have bad days from time to time.

 

[LadyDJ]

If you meet someone that struggles with depression is that a turn off to you? Not necessarily a constant struggle, but every now and then they have a bad day. Are you willing to support someone like this, or do you walk away from them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~​

What I was reffering to is that I used to have a lot of trouble with depression, it is better now, but I still have bad days from time to time.

It would be hard to say without actually being in that situation, but if it’s as you describe I don’t see what the problem would be, everyone has a bad or off day sooner or later and that is no reason to walk away from someone. The only thing that would be a turn off to me in that situation is if during the course of having said “bad day” is if the person having the bad day was abusive or turned to drugs and alcohol to deal with the bad day/depression.

 

[Tuffguy]

If i met someone with it, i would not involve myself in that persons life. Depressed people are ultimately selfish most of the time. They get all bound up in their inability to deal with everyday problems and drag everyone else down. Usually depression is caused by some sort of sin.

 

[Xen_Antares]

If i met someone with it, i would not involve myself in that persons life. Depressed people are ultimately selfish most of the time. They get all bound up in their inability to deal with everyday problems and drag everyone else down. Usually depression is caused by some sort of sin.

Clinical Depression is caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain, not by some sort of sin

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

If i met someone with it, i would not involve myself in that persons life. Depressed people are ultimately selfish most of the time. They get all bound up in their inability to deal with everyday problems and drag everyone else down. Usually depression is caused by some sort of sin.

TG--I have to say this is one of the biggest, unintelligent assumptions I've seen in a long time. Have you been on the receiving end of someone who has depression? Until judging someone why they are the way they are, try learning about that person, learning about depression, learning about that person's life. I'd say the selfishness is on the person who isn't bothered by digging deep and understanding/dealing with the person (if the person allows) than the person who is actually struggling with depression.

If depression is caused by sin then we all are in some deep depression, don't you think?

 

[Xen_Antares]

After reading most of these responses I am truley wondering the state of modern Christianity. I have been wondering about it for sometime but basically what I am seeing is people saying "I wouldnt mess with a depressed person, they'll drag me down" How Christ like is that?

Im curious, since depression can strike anyone, anytime, anywhere. How would those of you who responded negatively to the depression question act if your wife or husband suddenly became depressed? Would you go to a lawyer and file for a divorce? What if it was your child? Would you kick him or her out of your house? What if you found a boyfriend/girlfriend and they suddenly got it? Would you tell them Were not doing well, I think we should break up?

The more I talk to people in these forums the more I think I made the right decision seperating myself from the church. Dont get me wrong I still love Christ, Im just not going to hold my breath waiting to find a church that actually practices what he preaches.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

It would depend on how the person was handling their depression. If they were seeking help or working to over come their issues that have brought on the depression. (I've read that if you have a rough childhood and if you weren't brought up in a "normal" situation that not having all your needs met can also cause that chemical imbalance). Basically, if they're trying to make a difference in their lives and as long as they're not content living in that depression.

Also, as someone else has mentioned, if they deal with their depression with any sort of substance abuse, I cannot deal with that (as I've been around that most of my life).

 

[invisiblebabe]

What I was reffering to is that I used to have a lot of trouble with depression, it is better now, but I still have bad days from time to time.

Gotcha. Then yes, I could deal with a guy in your situation.

 

[invisiblebabe]

After reading most of these responses I am truley wondering the state of modern Christianity. I have been wondering about it for sometime but basically what I am seeing is people saying "I wouldnt mess with a depressed person, they'll drag me down" How Christ like is that?

Im curious, since depression can strike anyone, anytime, anywhere. How would those of you who responded negatively to the depression question act if your wife or husband suddenly became depressed? Would you go to a lawyer and file for a divorce? What if it was your child? Would you kick him or her out of your house? What if you found a boyfriend/girlfriend and they suddenly got it? Would you tell them Were not doing well, I think we should break up?

The more I talk to people in these forums the more I think I made the right decision seperating myself from the church. Dont get me wrong I still love Christ, Im just not going to hold my breath waiting to find a church that actually practices what he preaches.

I believe this post is asking the question in the context of a romantic relationship. That is quite different than asking, "Would you be friends with a depressed person?"

 

[Out of the Flames]

I've been a volunteer counselor for about 4 months now and clinical depression is one of my most common cases. When a person seeks treatment for clinical depression, they're often advised against becoming involved in a relationship if they're not already involved in one or married because the ups and downs of relationships can cause any progress that the depressed individual has made to slip away. We often advise these people to keep active, healthy relationships with friends and family who are aware of their conditions and behavior who can be supportive, rather than romantic and or sexual relationships which can mess with not only emotions, but also hormones which can also have a negative impact on treatment.

So if you're interested in someone with clinical depression, you should first learn about their level of severity and treatment. They may not be at a stage where a relationship is good for them.

Okay, so short answer, I wouldn't date a clinically depressed person, NOT because they're selfish (because that's not even an issue), and not even because they're depressed, but because I would rather that they invested the time and energy in their own health and well being.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

If its every once in a while I'll do my best to help them get through it but if it's everyday I dont think I could handle that.

 

[bkg]

Before anyone can make a judgement, I think it's important to really understand depression, what it's about, why a person suffers from it, etc. Some people suffer from depression becuase they simply have never learned coping mechanisms. Some because they have no hope. Others because they have a chemical imbalance. Still others because of poor diet.

Many things cause "depression", and we ALL, from time to time, suffer from feelings of a depressed mood. I think it's odd that people will judge a person w/o knowing how and why they are depressed.

BTW - I've suffered from clinical depression for a long time. And yes, it sucks to be around me from time to time. And yes, it's those times that I am unemotional and inable to communicate that contributed to my divorce. And yes, I weap for my wife having lived with me during some of my darkest moments.

I have taken a lot of medication in the last 10 years, and Praise God I have been med-free for almost 6 months (I put myself back on during the divorce). And I feel great! Very few people would think that I suffer from any sort of clinical depression.

Depression does not have to be a way of life. And it doesn't have to be a "stigma" by which others judge the "relatinoship worthiness" of another individual. But hey - to each his own.

 

[Xen_Antares]

Before anyone can make a judgement, I think it's important to really understand depression, what it's about, why a person suffers from it, etc. Some people suffer from depression becuase they simply have never learned coping mechanisms. Some because they have no hope. Others because they have a chemical imbalance. Still others because of poor diet.

Many things cause "depression", and we ALL, from time to time, suffer from feelings of a depressed mood. I think it's odd that people will judge a person w/o knowing how and why they are depressed.

BTW - I've suffered from clinical depression for a long time. And yes, it sucks to be around me from time to time. And yes, it's those times that I am unemotional and inable to communicate that contributed to my divorce. And yes, I weap for my wife having lived with me during some of my darkest moments.

I have taken a lot of medication in the last 10 years, and Praise God I have been med-free for almost 6 months (I put myself back on during the divorce). And I feel great! Very few people would think that I suffer from any sort of clinical depression.

Depression does not have to be a way of life. And it doesn't have to be a "stigma" by which others judge the "relatinoship worthiness" of another individual. But hey - to each his own.

Very well said. Sorry to hear about the divorce, my ex gf dumped me over depression too, though I didnt know I had it at the time. How do you keep yourself from feeling bitter over that situation? The person who should stick by you doesnt, its been difficult for me not to feel bitter.

 

[bound2him]

If i met someone with it, i would not involve myself in that persons life. Depressed people are ultimately selfish most of the time. They get all bound up in their inability to deal with everyday problems and drag everyone else down. Usually depression is caused by some sort of sin.

you have GOT to be kidding me! depression is a mental illness! do you tell a cancer paitent that they are a sinner! geez, people with this problem need your support, not your judgement

 

[bound2him]

After reading most of these responses I am truley wondering the state of modern Christianity. I have been wondering about it for sometime but basically what I am seeing is people saying "I wouldnt mess with a depressed person, they'll drag me down" How Christ like is that?

Im curious, since depression can strike anyone, anytime, anywhere. How would those of you who responded negatively to the depression question act if your wife or husband suddenly became depressed? Would you go to a lawyer and file for a divorce? What if it was your child? Would you kick him or her out of your house? What if you found a boyfriend/girlfriend and they suddenly got it? Would you tell them Were not doing well, I think we should break up?

The more I talk to people in these forums the more I think I made the right decision seperating myself from the church. Dont get me wrong I still love Christ, Im just not going to hold my breath waiting to find a church that actually practices what he preaches.

i hear ya on that one... well said