What do I tell him?????? Please help!!!!!! I don't know what to say to him!!!!!!

[dolphin40890]

I have this good guy friend, and im not sure that he's a christian. Im worried that if he asks me out, i don't know how to say no. Im worried that if i say "no" and tell him that its because im christian and he's not, he'll get saved and become a christian, but not really mean it, and just go through the actions of becoming one. The problem is i think i really like him! I don't know what to do, help!

 

[72_Chev_Truck]

WOW welp my advice is... #1 the young age of 13 is too young to worry about dating so say no. #2 your too young say no. #3 dating at any age under 16-18 is really worthless so say no #4 hes not a christian SAY NO.

Idealy it would be good for him to become a christian but I dont believe at your age and lack of experience in the area of guys you shouldnt even consider it.

Boys at that age period (12-18+) all have that little thing running through them called hormones and that will cause problems with your walk with God because of him wanting what he should only want during marriage. My opinion is dont bother with relationships.


Anybody else thats wise in the ways of the world wanna back me up? Mrstace? Msjones?

 

[Achichem]

I have this good guy friend, and im not sure that he's a christian. Im worried that if he asks me out, i don't know how to say no. Im worried that if i say "no" and tell him that its because im christian and he's not, he'll get saved and become a christian, but not really mean it, and just go through the actions of becoming one. The problem is i think i really like him! I don't know what to do, help!

first, seeing only your age, my best advice is it may not be the best time in your life to start dating at all. You are at an age where you are just figuring out yourself, and knowing yourself is a very important part of a relationship. Also at your young age, you may be like most people statistical your age and not emotional developed enough to handle some of the pressures (not to say it get too much better with time ), my best advice would be simply tell him “no” because you don’t think you want to date anyone just yet.



Ok, but let say you already weighed that out, and you really do what to try dating.All right then the first thing is, it should not matter that much if he is a Christian.If he is not that puts some extra pressures on you and a responsibility to explain it and how it’s a part of your life,put that doesn't nessarly mean he is not a good partner. He must also decide if he knowing about it's palce in your life if he wishes to date you still.(yet consistering the ponit he is in his life I doubt he would) If he does then he goes from there, and he will only convert if he really feels the calling(trust me, I seen this before). Many of the girls I know are very Christian and still do not have believing boy friends or husbands(many of their BF actually converted because of calling and are some of the most dedicated people I know), it is ok. I realize you want a boyfriend to embrace your faith and help you grow in Christ, but sometimes it a non-Christian force that does that. There is one other cause, that is that he is in a religion that does mix well with Christianity, in such a case (which doesn’t sound like the case) you have to look inside yourself for an answer you already know.

Hope that helps,
Even if just a little,
DaTsar

PS: I really would recomemed staying clear of BF for a while.

 

[jenptcfan]

I disagree with the post that says that it doesn't really matter if he's a Christian. The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked (believer with non-believer). Relationships are so much easier if both parties share the same beliefs, morals, values. Your teenage years will be full of ups and downs. There will be times when, even though you know right from wrong, you will be tempted to do things that aren't right. Having a boyfriend that shares the same Christian values as you will not be a fool-proof way to avoid those temptations, but it will help.

However, if you're not sure this guy is a Christian, why not ask him some questions about what his beliefs are? This could be a good opportunity (as friends only) to find out where he is spiritually and maybe have a positive witness with him.

Good luck!
J

 

[dolphin40890]

I think maybe i gave the wrong impression that i am planning on dating while i am only 13. The chances of that happening are about 1 in 100. But if he asks me out, i want to be able to explain to him WHY i am turning him down, not just b/c i am too young-so that i might even be able to witness to him, if he is not saved. I am also wondering what to say for future reference, if this were to happen when i was older and more into dating. I hope that i was able to clear some things up.

 

[Achichem]

I disagree with the post that says that it doesn't really matter if he's a Christian. The bible tells us not to be unequally yoked (believer with non-believer)

May I ask the exsact line you are refering,I know somthing simalar but take it quite a bit diffrently.I want to see if it is the same verse.

Relationships are so much easier if both parties share the same beliefs, morals, values.

I not disagreeing, but easier does nessarly mean better.

Your teenage years will be full of ups and downs. There will be times when, even though you know right from wrong, you will be tempted to do things that aren't right. Having a boyfriend that shares the same Christian values as you will not be a fool-proof way to avoid those temptations, but it will help.

I can't disagree there, I guess I just more of a risk-taker myself(trust myself), not to mention I come from a family of an agonistic and a faithful and its one of the best relationship I have ever seen in my life, and that may give me some bias.

However, if you're not sure this guy is a Christian, why not ask him some questions about what his beliefs are? This could be a good opportunity (as friends only) to find out where he is spiritually and maybe have a positive witness with him.

always good advice

I think maybe i gave the wrong impression that i am planning on dating while i am only 13. The chances of that happening are about 1 in 100. But if he asks me out, i want to be able to explain to him WHY i am turning him down, not just b/c i am too young-so that i might even be able to witness to him, if he is not saved. I am also wondering what to say for future reference, if this were to happen when i was older and more into dating. I hope that i was able to clear some things up.

I don't think there is any easy way to do it, my best advice would be to say somthing like "I think we are coming from different places, and though I would love to work on building a relationship and continuing in this friendship, I feel that type of relationship would not be the best way about going about doing that.”(being vague and not completing closing the door are your two most important things to remember) of course, a male(such as myself) is probably the worst at answering this type of thing, I was so stupid I on a few occasions not knowing how to dump a girl, simply cut off contact. Defiantly not a wise choice of action.

 

[William Nunn]

I think maybe i gave the wrong impression that i am planning on dating while i am only 13. The chances of that happening are about 1 in 100. But if he asks me out, i want to be able to explain to him WHY i am turning him down, not just b/c i am too young-so that i might even be able to witness to him, if he is not saved. I am also wondering what to say for future reference, if this were to happen when i was older and more into dating. I hope that i was able to clear some things up.

First off Dolphin, I'd like to say how awesome it is that you are not just getting caught up in the whole giggly romance bit and actually worrying about your testimony for the Lord. I must admit that even if I was saved when I was 13 I probably wouldn't have been mature enough to be that way. Good stuff!

As far as what to tell the guy, just be straightforward. You could tell him that you are a Christian and that prohibits you from dating him, but make sure that he knows that you don't even want to date a christian now because dating is something better left for a few years down the road.

In the future, it will be the same. Always be honest. Tell them that the Lord comes first in your life and anyone that wants to date you will have to accept that. When I began to do that, it was so liberating - and I never got caught up in a relationship that I had to then ruin by "surprising" them with my Christianity - they knew before we dated that the Lord came first.

 

[desi]

Telling him you are a Christian makes you look more desirable in his eyes no matter what he says about it.

 

[jenptcfan]

May I ask the exsact line you are refering,I know somthing simalar but take it quite a bit diffrently.I want to see if it is the same verse.

Hi DaTsar,

The scripture I'm referring to is below:

2Corinthians6:14-15
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

 

[theatrejunkie]

I'd say this (note: For the sake of this dialogue, I'm calling him Chad):

You: Chad, you're a really nice guy, but I'm just not ready to date yet. But it would be cool if we could hang out. A bunch of us are going to a movie this weekend, wanna go?

Chad: Hey, okay!

It's best when affection grows out of friendship anyway. By the time you're 16 or 17, you'll know him really well. Just keep things on the friendship level, and you'll be fine. When I was 13, kids who were "dating" were just glorified friends anyway . . . talking to each other on the phone and sitting next to each other at lunch.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Just say you don't want to date right now. Problem solved.

 

[myjesusboxorsroxors]

I have this good guy friend, and im not sure that he's a christian. Im worried that if he asks me out, i don't know how to say no. Im worried that if i say "no" and tell him that its because im christian and he's not, he'll get saved and become a christian, but not really mean it, and just go through the actions of becoming one. The problem is i think i really like him! I don't know what to do, help!

h'okay... hes not gonna become a pretend christian for you. Its too much work. Stop worrying about it.

 

[mrversatile48]

I can't see any of the 11 replies, but I'm sure it said 128 views too, so my reply is that many of us are praying for both you & him already, & many more will by the end of the day

As our Great Commission is to share the good news of the Lord Jesus Christ with everyone, beginning with our family & friends, & as we can all see you know to tell him that God knows our thoughts & isn't fooled by pretence, you pray for the right words & enjoy the telling!

Let us all know what happens - or ask him to break the 24,000-member barrier in this fantabulously fabulastic forum & ask all his questions here, OK?

God bless you both!

Ian