What do i say to them? This bothers me.

I'm no parent, so take what I say with a pinch of salt.

It looks like your concerns are not being acknowledged by your parents. You believe that this situation is unhealthy for your kids and would want it to change.

At times like these, you must put forward the main priorities even if those priorities will cause some conflict with those you love. Be firm and tell your parents again what you wanted changed. Followed by an action if said change is not observed. Do not be confrontational just firm.

Something like:

Mom & dad I would like you to acknowledge me as their mother in front of my children and you should always address yourselves as their grandparents. No more using mom or dad to address yourselves to them. I believe it is not a healthy way of bonding.

If this continues I would consider not bringing the children when visiting. I love you guys and I hope you understand.

Focus on teaching your kids to call you mum by affirmation. Let your parents be, they are old people and are already set in their ways.

Macchiato said:

So my parents wont refer to me as mom or mommy concerning my kids.

They'll refer to themselvss as grandpa.. My mom even called her swlf mommy talking to my daughter.

I tols my mom abt it and she said she woulsnt do it.

How do i not snap on them

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If they aren't saying "your mom will be here soon to pick you up" then what are they calling you to your kids? Are they using your first name?

My parents when taking directly to me would use my pet name, but when talking to my children would always say your mom.

If your parents are using your first name when speaking to your children it's a problem.

Macchiato said:

So my parents wont refer to me as mom or mommy concerning my kids.

They'll refer to themselvss as grandpa.. My mom even called her swlf mommy talking to my daughter.

I tols my mom abt it and she said she woulsnt do it.

How do i not snap on them

Click to expand...

There seems to be disfunction between you and your mother. Time for intervention by an Elder or Pastor. Blessings.

Macchiato said:

So my parents wont refer to me as mom or mommy concerning my kids.

They'll refer to themselvss as grandpa.. My mom even called her swlf mommy talking to my daughter.

I tols my mom abt it and she said she woulsnt do it.

How do i not snap on them

Click to expand...

You can explain to your children that you are their mother and since you cannot control your mother you can treat her like you might treat an elderly parent who has alzheimers (a problem that is faced by many people today with their aging parents). Unreasonable behavior has many possible sources and it is something that we have to learn to live with.

Just think to yourself about the millions of people faced with parents that do some irrational things and simply adjust.