What do atheists think of polygamy?

Caylin · May 12, 2007

RichardT said:
nt.

I think polygamy as expressed in male dominated cultures is bad because it reduces the female to a commodity. However, if more than two people love each other, I have no problem with that as long as honesty is maintained.

quatona · May 12, 2007

RichardT said:
nt.

This atheist wouldn´t even marry one single woman. So polygamy is out of the question, as far as I am concerned.

quatona · May 12, 2007

I don´t seem to understand how allowing others the private life of their preference comes with any more convenience for me than trying to prevent or even prohibit it.

Museveni · May 12, 2007

Concidering that Moral and Ethics are little more then a persons own ideas of "Right and Wrong" I fail to see how someone can have low morals or be immoral.

Personaly I find intolerance towards people of other cultures and sexual orientations to be wrong so by my standards then(extremist) christians are immoral.

As far as polygamy goes I dont see any real problem with it as long as everyone agrees on it. Aside ofcourse from the fact that some guys might horde all the hot chicks..

TemperateSeaIsland · May 12, 2007

As long as their consenting adults and are all happy with the arrangement I see nothing wrong with polygamy.

What do you see wrong with it?

Pepperoni · May 12, 2007

I have to wonder what atheists base their morality on. The answer of "it's my personal feelings on what is right and/or wrong" doesn't hold any water. How are these opinions formed? Surely it must be based on something tangible.

.Sabre. · May 12, 2007

In Asatru, there is no problem with polyamorous relationships per se, but one of the Nine Noble Virtues is fidelity, which can mean monogamy or just loyalty and telling the truth.

quatona · May 12, 2007

Pepperoni said:
I have to wonder what atheists base their morality on. The answer of "it's my personal feelings on what is right and/or wrong" doesn't hold any water. How are these opinions formed? Surely it must be based on something tangible.

It´s a similar method to that which use to form your opinion which god you want to let you determine your morality. It´s just more, umm, direct.

bammertheblue · May 12, 2007

Can't speak for everyone, but for me it's based on "Does this action harm another person?"

Pepperoni said:
I have to wonder what atheists base their morality on. The answer of "it's my personal feelings on what is right and/or wrong" doesn't hold any water. How are these opinions formed? Surely it must be based on something tangible.

TemperateSeaIsland · May 12, 2007

Pepperoni said:
I have to wonder what atheists base their morality on. The answer of "it's my personal feelings on what is right and/or wrong" doesn't hold any water. How are these opinions formed? Surely it must be based on something tangible.

Empathy;
If I was going to do something that would effect person A I would put myself in their shoes and ask myself "If someone did what I'm thinking of doing to me how would I feel?" If its a negative then I wont do it. Its essentially the golder rule.

Lynden1000 · May 12, 2007

I have no problem with it as long as all parties are consenting adults.

It's not my thing, but it's not my business, or the government's business, if others wish to practice it.

katautumn · May 12, 2007

I think it should be the government's business if there was a huge movement to have it legalized. The negative consequences of polygamy far outweigh the positive ones. Don't believe me? I've known, personally, two polygamists in my life. One guy got into a huge mess when one of his partners stopped taking her birth control pill without his knowledge and she got pregnant. Then the other partner became jealous and did the same thing. So here is this young man with two pregnant girlfriends, each one vieing for his undivided attention. Girlfriend #1 thought she deserved more attention because she got pregnant first. Girlfriend #2 thought she deserved more attention because she had been his girlfriend for about a year before they entered into a polyamorous relationship. What a mess! In the end, both girls left him and they went their separate ways with bitter resentment toward one another. Couple number two was a married couple who had adopted the swinger's lifestyle hoping to find a good match to bring into their home on a permanent basis. Of course, the women the wife liked the husband didn't and vice versa. Then the wife became suspicious he was looking for the new partner without her being present and she accused him of cheating. They ended up having to go through marriage counseling.

The problem with legalized polygamy is that it causes a huge problem if one spouse dies or divorces from the "family". How would the assets be divided? Who would get custody of the children? It's a big enough mess when two people go through this, can you imagine three or more? And what about the children? Having to live a secret life out of fear and shame? What about people who already practice polygamy in secret and the wives share the children and the husband hops from bed to bed every night of the week? These kids never know who is more important in the family or who is the favorite. You want to practice polygamy? Fine, but leave kids out of it. They don't deserve that sort of life.

Futuwwa · May 12, 2007

Threads on polygamy always manage to surprise me. Every time, I find out that I'm a lot more pro-monogamy than almost everyone else

uberd00b · May 12, 2007

If all participants can handle it and want it, I can't see that there would be a problem with polygamy.

GryffinSong · May 12, 2007

This is a really interesting question.

From a legal perspective, I believe that the government shouldn't legislate morality. As long as all parties are fully consenting to the behavior, it's not really my business, and it certainly isn't the government's business.

From a personal perspective, I wouldn't tolerate a polygamous situation. I'm not interested in sharing what is a deep, personal relationship. And since as far as I can tell (and I could be wrong) it seems like polygamous groups tend to be patriarchal and the women subservient, I'm SO not interested. I'm a strong, independent woman, and I'm not taking back seat in a relationship, especially to another woman.

As far as morality? I'm not prepared to comment. Morality is so cultural, and so private. I saw a Discovery Channel special the other day on a primitive tribal culture out in the islands somewhere (south pacific maybe?). They have a polygamous society, and the women seemed to like sharing the work and child rearing together. And the women were allowed to divorce the man simply by moving out. So if it wasn't working for them, they could move back in with their family of origin or with their brother, or somesuch. It seems to be a successful survival strategy for them, so who am I to tell them they're wrong?

katautumn · May 12, 2007

Like I said, there can't be any of this, "I can do what I want and as long as it feels right it's no one's business...not even the government's!" when there are children involved. When there aren't any kids in the picture, hey, whatever floats your boat make it sail, babe. But when children are involved, that's when the "I'll do whatever I want" era ends. At that point it becomes about how will this affect the children and I don't care how well the parties seem to get along, polygamy in a civilized society will always be difficult for the children.

quatona · May 12, 2007

GryffinSong said:
From a personal perspective, I wouldn't tolerate a polygamous situation. I'm not interested in sharing what is a deep, personal relationship. And since as far as I can tell (and I could be wrong) it seems like polygamous groups tend to be patriarchal and the women subservient, I'm SO not interested. I'm a strong, independent woman, and I'm not taking back seat in a relationship, especially to another woman.

Maybe polyandry is more to your liking, then?

(Just thought a bit about a hypothetical society that has polygamy and polyandry simultaneously. Funny constellations possible. )

Robbie_James_Francis · May 13, 2007

Personally, I couldn't deal with a polygamous relationship. I don't believe that most people could, and I think most people are going to have serious problems if they engage in one. If they want to, I have no right to stop them, but I think it is very unwise.

I think institutionalised polygyny, which has existed in some form in the majority of societies and still does in some, is very negative because it makes women second-class citizens and commodities and perpetuates patriarchal injustice.

Institutionalised polyandry, which is extremely rare (existing, as I recall, in roughly 1% of societies through history), oddly enough, has the same effect in my opinion. As far as I'm aware, it has always been fraternal, with brothers having one wife between them.

Thus both systems give men the exclusive and supreme prerogative to oppress women.

Pepperoni said:
I have to wonder what atheists base their morality on. The answer of "it's my personal feelings on what is right and/or wrong" doesn't hold any water. How are these opinions formed? Surely it must be based on something tangible.

Why? Yours isn't. The Bible is a book that is interpreted and re-interpreted and every time you or anyone else reads it you are filling it with your own inferences based on your personal experience, opinion and belief. It is on these inferences, and not the Bible itself, that a Christian's morality is based. The same is true of church tradition, the community or the ecclesial authorities if those if those are important in your denomination.

There is no other way to explain the ability of 'Bible-believing Christians' as a group through culture and history to be both for and against every issue under the sun, from abortion to slavery.

kevin36 · May 13, 2007

quatona said:
This atheist wouldn´t even marry one single woman.

Why not?

What do atheists think of polygamy?

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