Interesting discussion.
I am very much like
@Clare73 in our thinking concerning free will, but we express it very differently. I say that I allow for or even use, the term "free will", as a concession to the fact that we do indeed have a will and make real choices, with real, even eternal, consequences. Clare works off the dictionary terminology, in which she shows that people's choices are always according to their disposition.
But, yeah, "free" is used in 'free will' to mean all sorts of things, some of which are illogical, and some of which are downright heretical. But I have to say that "determinism" is also based on our blind presumptuous logic, that apparently can't help but consider God as thinking in the kind of mental processes we are familiar with. I find the philosophically developed attributes, particularly these two which I absolutely love: The Aseity of God and The Simplicity of God, to bypass all the noise of our thinking "but that isn't fair", or "but that isn't loving", or "God must have been thinking that..." and so on. But I don't know how to get them across without too long a post, or too vague a post, or too easily misunderstood a post.
This is running long, but I want to try to describe the principle that your last paragraph, and your last sentence brings to mind for me. I have been told by several on this site that the growth of the believer is toward independent self-reliant ability, that that is the meaning of freedom. But what I read shows that our growth is into ever-increasing unity with God, to necessarily include dependence on the One who is our very sustenance, in the end. Apart from him, we can do nothing. Our freedom indeed is IN Christ, not simply because we have a changed will, but a changed nature,
John 17 style.
Anyhow, very much enjoyed your thoughts.